Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Ari. I still love that tree, though I don't see it very often these days.
Ari's right, Deb. I love the way it's so simple, but reflects a lot about you. I love it!
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Cam. Glad you liked it
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
I wrote this one for my sister when she got married.
I wanted to let you know
On this important day
Just how much you mean to me
In every single way
I’m so glad you’re my sister
And for the love we share
I thank you for the best of times
And worst when you were there
I’ll cherish you forever
Keep you always in my heart
And know that we’re together
Even when we are apart
I wish you all the blessings
On this your special day
That you have found the perfect one
To take you all the way
I pray for years of loving
For you and he to share
And all the blessings God can give
To follow you everywhere
For a life that’s filled with happiness
You both go off this night
I wish you every joy in life
Filled with eternal light
Mystic Guilden
14 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
Lovely Deb. That would make a beautiful wedding speech :)
that is soo sweet! its exactly the sort of thing i'd like to say to my sister. your's must have been thrilled!
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Kendra. She was very happy with, so much that she ended up crying and had to have her makeup fixed. She is the baby of our family and I love her a lot.
Dreamweavers' Guildmistress
14 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guildmistress
Dreamscape Artist
I love it Deb, especially how (to me) what you've said is true about eternal light and all the blessings part. Thanks for sharing it :D
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Arwen, you're welcome.
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Sun Jun 21 2009, 11:45pm
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Something strange came over me tonight and I wrote this...thought I'd share.
As the day dies, the earth's soul lays down
To
Sleep
As the moon's rise sets the stars of niight
To
Weep
Old souls
Bring forth
Lost love
Set free
Fly like
A dove
Straight up to heaven for God's strong hand
To
Keep
Mystic Guilden
14 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
In all honesty Deb, my first read I thought "nice poem, hate the style" but on my second read, I was less concerned with how it was writtern and more about what you wrote. I think it's simple, but not as definite or to the point as you might first think.
Nice work :)
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Ari, it suposed to flow arcoss the page but I couldn't get it to work like it does in word so I left it all straight edged. Anyhow, its looks better and 'sounds' better when ts set out right. Cheers
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Another one of my strange 3am rambles through writing land.
Here comes Santa, down the chimney
Just to leave some Christmas cheer
He would like it, when he visits
If you'd leave a glass of beer.
And a homemade, chocolate biscuit
For he needs to eat as well
Otherwise before he's halfway
Round the world, he's drunk as hell
For the reindeer, lots of carrots
These are good for eyes you know
Comes in handy, having good sight
Flying through the dark and snow.
If the present that he gives you
Leaves you feeling really bad
Not exactly what you wanted?
You should blame your mum and dad.
lol, I love it Deb! :D Very amusing. I especially like the last verse. :nod:
Wow getting into the christmas spirit early :) I really like it deb, the humour works really well. :) I remember I actually used to leave beer out for santa when I was a kid :P
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
LOL Thanks guys. I actually had to modify it a touch due to the PG rating but it wouldn't get out of my head until I got up and wrote it down.
Mystic Guilden
14 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
PML...I'll never see Santa the same way again, LOL!
Nice work, I love how you made it flow while shifting from talking about Santa to talking about Parents :)
Wanderer Guilden
14 years ago
Wanderer Guilden
Mage
wait.. santa isn't real? 8-|
lol deb, its awesomeness, i really like the first verse ;P
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
This is a poem I wrote the year my daughter died. I've been looking over some of the stuff I wrote back then to see how it reflects on how I feel now and I find that most of the sentiments have not changed around this time of year but that I live with them laying easier on my heart and soul now. I'm hoping that I'll be able to put some of these new feelings and thought down on paper in the coming weeks and months.
Christmas
It's Christmas time I should be glad
But all I feel is very sad
What does this season mean to me
Silver balls hanging on a tree
Kids with presents smiling wide
Parents watching them with pride
But I am so caught up in grief
I feel to others like a thief
To spoil their Christmas fun is bad
But I'm so hurt it makes me mad
How can life keep moving on
Specially now that you are gone
I know that I should celebrate
The birth of Christ, the start of faith
But you're not here to make me smile
I won't like Christmas for a while
I will get through, I know I can
For all the other kids and Nan
And even though I'll miss you heaps
I know you're in my heart for keeps
So hard as Christmas has to be
This year we decorate your tree
So even though you are not here
In our hearts you're very near
And I will cry, I will be sad
I'll think this Christmas very bad
But maybe in time I'll learn to see
Just what Christmas can mean to me
Not just tears for missing you
But the love and joy of Christmas too
© Deb Gates 2002
14 years ago
Mon Nov 16 2009, 01:50pm
Wow, Deb, that is beautiful. It made me get all teary-eyed.
Good job with the rhyming. I often find it hard to do rhyming poems without making them sound contrived (which is why I generally avoid them :P ), but you made it sound really natural.
It's a beautiful poem, and conveys emotion really well. I think the rhyming is very effective. The rhyming reminds me of the happiness and sense of fun that Christmas usually brings, but then this contrasts with the sorrow that's inspired by the words of the poem. It comes together to form a very bitter-sweet/wistful poem, which is beautiful.
It really conveys the difference between the happiness that is expected at Christmas and the sense of loss that you feel. A joyful holiday is turned becomes a day when you also feel a sense of loss, but you have to keep pretending in order to not ruin it for other people.
Anyway, I love it Deb. It's really touching.
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
We've been talking about depressive writing on some of the other threads so i thought I'd post some of mine here... Feel free to ignore.
Melissa 13
When the blues roll around
It gets harder to see
The meaning in life
Now that you’re not with me
The hurt and the guilt
The sorrow and pain
Jump up and bite me
Again and again
I miss you like crazy
Far into the night
Through nightmares and terrors
These demons I fight
Soon it’s your birthday
In just a few days
Here I am crying
Walk round in a haze
I don’t want to be here
I feel really bad,
Scared, hurt and angry
And so very sad
© Deb Gates. 06-03-04
and one written in 2007
The light in my life has shattered
Into a million tiny fragments of hurt.
The days craw by so slowly
I am lonely and alone.
My heart cries out for something missing.
My tears fall like the winter’s rain.
The pain tears though my soul.
I am lost in darkness so black
I can’t see a way forward.
The nights drag by sleeplessly
Only to rise to a new feeling of fear.
I drift through the hours unthinking
I lose the time
Then wonder where it has gone.
My mind a mess of scrambled thought
My soul surging with unfelt emotion.
Why is this moment so heart wrenching?
Happiness should be filling me to overflowing.
The abyss creeps ever nearer.
I fall into the cold dark places.
Nightmares grip at my sanity,
I just want to lay down and die.
I make myself go on living
With days and night filled with despair.
Tears flowing ever faster.
I wipe them away but they return.
Not healing as I wish them to be
But burning through my life
Leaving me empty and cold
Waiting for the next turn of fate.
Praying that things will simply get better
Before I lose all hope
And one thats not so bad from last year
We wander a city made dark
By storm clouds
Step by step down streets of cold
Concrete and stone
Patches of blue flash through
The storm clouds
Echoing peace off the cold
Concrete and stone
Mystic Guilden
14 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
You write out your emotions extremely well Deb. And like Avialle, I too am in awe of your ability to make rhyme seem so simple because you never miss a beat when you write it!
The last poem you posted is good too. Simple but open to interpretation. It's like word association...you've given me a small description and I get to make of it what I will. The alternating repetition of the last line makes me feel like the poem is incomplete, like you have more versus up your sleeve ready to post up.
I never fail to enjoy reading your poems :)
Mystic Ward
14 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
lol Ari, I wrote that one walking down the street during the Melbourne writers festival last year. Thats as far as I got with it because everyone else was getting too far ahead of me. :P
Thanks for the positive comments, it means a lot that people like the way I write...even the depressing stuff.
They are really good Deb and I agree with Ariadne-you write your emotions down extremely well.