Thanks Cam, I'm glad you enjoyed it ;D ... they are pretty saddish :( . I can't wait until you post the story you're working on :D
Just a short one coz I'm bored :P It's not very good, but, anyways, here it is.
As the sun goes down,
The wolves all howl.
As the moon comes up,
A whimper comes from a pup.
As the country grows dark,
You hear the flutter from a lark.
As the stars start to shine,
The world becomes mine.
I really love Burnt Alive. It's so descriptive, and War Sufferer sums up war from one perspective. Great work!
Thanks guys ;D
Here's a bit of a story that I've been working on. My friends enjoy it and I'm hoping to publish it when it's finished. The book is part of a series, it's the first one 'Last of the Line'. The series I have titled 'Animika'.
“You have to pass it on!” said a woman’s voice.
“I know,” an older woman answered.
“The time is near, almost all the others are gone, you need to soon or the line will be lost. All the other lines have few left too. You need to do it now!”
The older woman’s amber eye’s glowed before dying down to black.
“It is done?”
“Yes, find her and show her our way. My time here is almost over.”
“Good. I hope they come soon.”
The older woman sighed and lay still on her deathbed.
“I will find them all, I promise.”
I'll send the start of the next chapter later, I've been away for a week and obernet moves so quickly :P got a lot of catching up to do.
Interesting start. Looking forward to the next installment.
I'll send it bit by bit, coz the first chapter is still five A4 pages :P
“Vampire girl, vampire girl!”
A pale black haired girl ducked her head to hide the tears now welling up in her amber eyes.
“Why don’t you go eat some people?” A boy teased.
“Yeah, Ookami, no-one wants you!” Another boy yelled.
“Are you mute or something?” A girl said.
A loud siren rang through the air.
“Come on now kids, time to get back to class!” A middle-aged woman with glasses called out. The girl packed up her lunch box as she fought the tears now threatening to spill over the brims of her eyes onto her thin cheeks.
“Come on now, Ookami.” The woman called to the girl.
Ookami walked back to class, still trying hard not to cry. She walked into class as the teacher addressed the class.
“…so you have to be on your best behaviour, okay? Oh, Ookami, can you try not to be late? I was telling the class about the school coming to visit tomorrow. You cannot be late while they visit. We have to leave them with a good impression.”
Ookami nodded. While the class discussed how to behave while the other school visited, Ookami drew on the side of a maths worksheet. By the end of school she had drawn three black wolves howling at the moon. She walked out slowly when class finished. She walked down to the car park and walked up to a red 4WD.
“Hurry up Ookami, we don’t have all day.” A woman yelled from the driver’s side as Ookami hurried and got in.
“I don’t see how I deserve to be stuck with you! All the other girls got wonderful kids. Not white with dark hair. Nice kids with colour in their cheeks and nice, blonde hair.”
Ookami waited out the ride, staring out the window, wishing for what she didn’t have. When they came to a halt she got out. She went straight to her room and lay on the thin, lumpy mattress to cry. When she ran out of tears, she got a book from under her pillow and started to read. By the time it was dark she had fallen asleep, her hand resting on the page she had been reading.
In the morning, Ookami got up and got changed into a button-up red-check shirt and an old pair of stained jeans. She brushed her waist length midnight-black hair, then had a piece of toast and saw her mum asleep on the couch. She left a note on the kitchen table, surprisingly neat for her upbringing, as an unwanted child, shunned by even her mother.
I have ridden to school. I will ride home too. I'll be back soon so don’t bother waiting up. I might take a while. Bye.
When Ookami got to school she saw a bus parked at the front of the school. She walked slowly up to class and saw a group of kids out the front that she hadn’t seen.
This must be the new school, she thought.
interesting fragment. Keep it coming
Yeah, it's really good Dinaria! Where did you get the name Ookami from? I've never heard anything like it before!
Thank you! ;D
I'll explain the names later or it will ruin it :P
As she walked up, they went inside. She followed soon after. The teacher hissed a warning under her breath.
“Ookami, I told you not to be late! If you slip up once more today, I will give you detention!”
Ookami wasn’t paying attention. As soon as the teacher had said her name, one of the girls from the other school had snapped up as if she had been bitten.
Ookami watched her walk over to her teacher and mutter something in her ear. The teacher whispered something back.
“Ookami, I said to take your seat!” Ookami’s teacher said in a falsely gentle tone.
Ookami nodded and went to her seat. She felt eyes on her, but she had a feeling it had nothing to do with the fact the teacher had singled her out.
Ookami looked at the other students when she had sat. They seemed strange. Two of the girls wore scarves around their mouths and noses; another wore her hair in two piggy tails on top of her head, an inch above, and not to the side like some of Ookami’s classmates wore theirs. The boys were weird too. One of them wore his hair in a long shaggy mane; there was no other way to describe it.
“Thankyou Miss Gurs, and thankyou for letting us visit your class too,” The other teacher said. “This is some of my class. We have been looking for a new class member for our school and we think they might be in this class.”
Ookami watched the teacher, then, she saw the girl with the weird piggy tails watching her. Ookami looked at her. The girl looked back, unblinking. Ookami turned away, nervous. Why was it they seemed interested in her?
I must be imagining things, Ookami thought to herself, they are probably watching everyone just as closely.
Ookami looked out the classroom window for a while, not paying attention to the time. The whole time was spent with Miss Gurs talking to the other teacher, the students talking to each other.
“Hi!” A bell-like voice interrupted Ookami’s thinking.
Ookami looked up to see the piggy tail girl smiling down warmly on her.
“I’m Kitsune.” She continued.
Ookami just nodded.
“You’re Ookami, aren’t you?” Kitsune asked.
Ookami was surprised. Just then the other teacher called Kitsune back. Ookami just settled listening to other conversations.
“That chick with the purple scarf is hot!” She heard one of the guys mutter to the other.
Ookami watched as the girl they were talking about suddenly appeared beside them.
“I’m glad you think so.” The girl said in a soft, purring voice, watching the boys blush a deep red.
Ookami saw one of the other school’s boys glare in the direction of the conversation. Just then, the siren for recess went.
Ookami walked out the door and grabbed her lunchbox from her bag. She went to the back of the oval and sat down. She looked up to see a group of kids from her school walking up. There was one of the girls and one of the guys from the other school there too. They had brown scarves around their mouths and noses. One of the boys came up and pulled Ookami’s hair, she squealed in pain. Another poked her as if she was a corpse.
“Late again, were we Ookami?” A girl teased.
I love it Dinaria- so captivating! I can't wait to read more of it :D
“Drinking blood all night?” another girl laughed.
“You’re a vampire, no-one wants you, not even your mum!” a boy yelled at her.
Ookami fought the tears threatening to give away her pain, but one of the boys saw them in her eyes.
“Aw, did we make you cry?” he said sarcastically.
“I didn’t know vampires cried!”
As all this went on, Ookami saw the boy and girl with the scarves walk away at a brisk pace. Through the tears now streaming down her hollow cheeks, Ookami looked to see the kids from the other school in a group, muttering among themselves.
“Hey boys!” a velvety pur said. The teasing stopped as everyone turned to see who was speaking. It was the girl with the purple scarf.
“I was wondering, could one of you show me the canteen, please?” She said, batting her eyes and twirling her hair. The guys all suddenly fought to lead her the way, forgetting all about Ookami.
“That [censored]! My boyfriends there!” One of the girls said.
The girls immediately took after her, shouting.
Ookami watched them, grabbing a tissue from her pocket and wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Are you alright?”
Ookami looked up to see who was speaking. It was Kitsune, with a group of the kids from the other school. Ookami looked away.
“Did they hurt you?” The bell-like voice cut through the air.
Ookami just concentrated on the tears threatening to spill over again.
“Can she talk?” A soft murmur of velvet.
“I don’t know.” Kitsune answered.
“Do you think she can hear us?” A growl sounded.
“Yes, she can.” Kitsune replied.
“Ookami, look at me.” It was hard for her to resist the velvety voice.
Ookami looked up and was shocked to see a pair of liquid amber eyes like her own staring down at her. She concentrated on breathing as she looked in those beautiful eyes, set into the face of a boy as pale as her.
“Can you speak?” the boy asked.
“Good.” was all he said.
The siren sounded and Ookami watched as the girl with the brown scarf picked up Ookami’s lunchbox and brought it back to her. The pale boy helped Ookami to stand.
“I’m Urufu,” The boy said “you’ve met Kitsune, this is Civetta, Fukurou, Raion, Leeuw, Gatto, and Neko is distracting your classmates.”
Ookami wondered why they were helping her. No one helped her unless they were going to use it against her later. She’d learnt that from experience.
As they walked up to class, Ookami listened to the people around her.
“Are you sure she can talk?” The growling voice belonging to Leeuw whispered.
“If she says she can, then we should trust her.” Kitsune replied, just as softly.
“But she didn’t say anything.” Leeuw whispered more harshly.
oooh i like it :) can't wait to see what happens next .
and i'm loving on Leeuw.. a growling voice even in a whisper. perfect guy XD
Glad you like him Hannah ;D lolz.
They walked into class then, and Urufu let go of Ookami’s arm.
“Late again, Ookami,” Miss Gurs snapped at Ookami before turning to the other teacher and saying, “I’m sorry, she probably made the rest of your class late too.”
“No, she didn’t.” Kitsune said as darkly as a bell could.
“Oh, well, um…” Miss Gurs stuttered, surprised by the apparent hostility.
The class sat down in their seats, the other class sitting at the spare seats. Urufu and Kitsune sat in the seats next to Ookami that were cleared like a crime scene.
“Take out your maths sheets from yesterday, class.” Miss Gurs said.
Ookami took out her sheet. It was the one she had been drawing on yesterday. Urufu studied the drawings carefully. He nudged Kitsune behind Ookami and nodded pointedly toward the wolves. Kitsune nodded back at him. Ookami wondered about their apparent friendliness and interest in her.
“You like wolves?” Urufu asked Ookami.
Ookami nodded, turning from her work.
“Why don’t you talk?” Urufu asked.
“Ookami, you obviously have time to chat, have you finished your worksheet?” Miss Gurs asked.
Ookami looked at her wide-eyed.
“Yes she has Miss.” Kitsune answered.
Miss Gurs came over to check. As she looked at Ookami’s sheet, Ookami looked too. Though she had only done about five questions before, the entire sheet was done. Ookami looked at Kitsune, who winked at her. Ookami looked closer at the answers as Miss Gurs walked away, and saw they weren’t quite exact replicas of her own handwriting.
Ookami looked at Kitsune, who was smiling at her. Ookami looked back gratefully. Part of her mind nagged her that this could be used against her, but another part wondered whether she was just being nice.
“So, why do the kids here pick on you?” Urufu asked.
Ookami shrugged in answer.
“There must be a reason though.” Urufu persisted, but Ookami just shrugged again.
“Why did people pick on you at your old school, Urufu?” Kitsune asked.
“Because I was different.”
“Exactly! Your old school isn’t the only place that people don’t like different.”
“Time for music.” Miss Gurs announced.
The class packed up and filed out of the classroom and into another.
“Today we’ll continue on the recorder.” Miss Gurs said.
Kitsune had a strained look on her face, but quickly wiped it blank.
“Kitsune, Civetta and Fukurou cannot participate.” The other teacher informed Miss Gurs.
“That’s okay, they can watch.” Miss Gurs replied.
“May I go for a wander around the school?” Kitsune asked.
“Sure, take someone with you. Crystal!” Miss Gurs called.
A platinum blonde girl came up to Miss Gurs.
“Yes Miss Gurs?” she said.
“Um, that’s alright, can Ookami come with me instead?” Kitsune asked.
The blonde girl looked as if she was royalty being traded for a peasant.
“Um, are you sure?” Miss Gurs asked.
“Yes, Urufu, would you like to come too?”
“Sure, why not?”
“What about you Civetta?”
The group left the astonished classroom, with one astonished party member. None of the other class’s kids, or the teacher, were even surprised.
“Go Civetta.” Kitsune said to Civetta as they walked out of sight of the class.
Civetta ran away quickly. Ookami wondered for a moment, but curiosity got the better of her.
“Why does she wear a scarf around her face?” Ookami asked in a hoarse voice.
“Um, somewhere more private maybe.” Kitsune answered, unsurprised by Ookami’s decision to speak.
“Why don’t you talk much?” Urufu asked, his velvet voice so compelling.
“Then people can’t know what I’m thinking or feeling.” Ookami answered, her voice gaining some strength.
“How can they tell what your feeling or thinking?” Urufu questioned.
“The tone of your voice, the speed of your speech.”
“Where’s a more private place?” Kitsune asked.
“The back of the oval is usually empty.” Ookami replied.
An owl flew overhead of them, hooted twice and flew away. They walked in silence to the oval and made their way to the back.
“Okay, you wanted to know about Civetta?” Kitsune asked.
The owl that flew over them before landed on the ground by them with a bundle tied to its feet. Urufu held a towel in front of it and after a minute withdrew it. Civetta was standing there.
“A magic trick?” Ookami asked.
“No.” Urufu answered.
He nodded at Civetta who took away her scarf from her face. Ookami gasped, her hand flew to her mouth. Where Civetta’s mouth and nose should have been, there was an owl beak.
That's the end of chapter one. If you want more, could you post here please? And any comments welcome for any of it ;D
Dianaria, I definately want more! You might want to apply for prodders though before you post too much. It's really easy for people to steal your work off the internet. I'd be glad to have a look at it if you'd like to email it to me. (I promise I won't steal it)
A few of those names are Japanese words, right? :D I think I might be ruining it for others if I say what they mean... Kitsune and Neko, for example...
Do we get more?
Thank you so much Deb! I'd completely forgotten!
Kimby - ;D a few of them... it doesn't spoil anything too much anymore, but if you want to clarify anything about them, PM me ;) Yes, I will post more, but after I make sure no one can steal my work (with Deb's help hopefully). As soon as that's sorted, I'll begin posting chapter 2 :D
I really enjoyed Running Away Dinaria - its an interesting use of punctuation and form and I really like it. I like your other poetry too. I also like the way you play with sentance stucture and use inversions to make statements have greater impact.
Give...me.....MORE! I think I will die a very painful death if i don't have more... I love it! Very intruiging
EEkkk! You need to post more! and more and more! haha i'm having trouble keeping up with the names but thats just because they're unfamiliar sure i'll get it soon...might a list lol.
Thanks Maz ;D I'm glad you like them.
Cameo and Hannah - Okay, here's the deal: I can't post anymore up here because of the accessibility and I don't want my work stolen. I trust most of the people here, and I trust the site, but I know that I can't trust my work to not run away on me :P . I'll send you both a PM about this and then we'll talk more ;D
(sorry I haven't posted work in a while ~:| )
I sigh as class drags on. My teachers yapping on about subatomic particles and charges and electricity and photosynthesis… actually, I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’m busy drawing on my worksheet. I glance at the title: ‘Protons, Electrons and Neutrons’. Subatomic particles. Joy. I groan as I look at the clock. It’s only ten minutes into the period! I try to concentrate on what my teacher is saying, but I can’t. I look down at the one-eyed cat I was drawing. I wrote ‘Maruman’ above it and started shading it. I heard a sigh beside me and I turned to see my friend rest her head on the desk-top.
“Tired?” I guessed.
“Nah, just bored.” She whispered back.
She put her head back on the desk and I went back to drawing. I finished my picture of Maruman and I started on one of Galtha. I closed my eyes and relaxed as I waited for class to finish.
I opened my eyes and saw everyone looking at me. Great, he’d called on me to answer a question.
I saw the boy in front of me mouth ‘positive’.
“Positive?” I replied, hoping he wasn’t just trying to get me in trouble.
“Very good, the proton has the positive charge…” The teacher went back to talking to the class.
I mouthed thank you back to the boy, smiling, and he smiled back. I went back to drawing. I drew a desert with holes leading in the ground and several tents set up. I drew some rocky shoals with dolphins leaping up out of the water. I felt someone tap my back. It was the boy that sat in front of me.
“You know class is finished?” I looked around and I realised that we were the only ones in the classroom except for the teacher who was packing up his things and wiping off the board. I blushed and hurried to me feet, scraping my chair along the floor. I quickly packed my worksheets up, knocking my open pencil case on to the floor in the process, spilling it’s contents. I scowled at it and put down the sheet I was putting in my folder and lent down to pick up my pencil case. When I straightened, brushing the dirt from my knees, I saw the boy looking at the sheet.
“What?” I asked.
The boy blinked and smiled at me.
“Nice pictures.” He said. I blushed and grabbed the sheet, stuffing it in my file. “No, their good.” He verified.
“Their based on the series I’ve been reading.” I told him tentatively.
“What series is that?” He asked.
“The Obernewtyn chronicles.” I replied. He smiled. “Never heard of it.” I raised my eyebrows in astonishment. “It’s like one of the best series ever!”
He smiled and walked out of the classroom thinking to himself. I tried to farseek him, but, yet again, I failed. I sighed in frustration. I gathered my things in my arms and put them in my bag.
I walked outside into the dripping rain and smiled at the clouds. No one was near by. There were only a few people still waiting for parents along the road. I walked in the opposite direction, eager to get home. As I walked I thought about getting out the umbrella in my bag, but I dismissed the idea as I always did. I shivered at the cold wet seeping through my shirt. I never wore the school jumper either, but I usually had no need. I didn’t feel the cold as much as most people and when I did feel it, I could ignore it better than most too. It was annoying though when it rained like this. I hated jumpers, I only wore jackets and some jumpers. Anyway, I walked across the back of the oval and down the road there to my house.
As soon as I reached the door, my heart started pounding. I dropped my keys in my rush, but was quick to grab them. I shoved them in the lock and burst through the door. I ran into my room, turned on my computer and tapped my foot impatiently for it to turn on. I logged on and opened the internet. I didn’t bother waiting for that to load, but quickly typed in the Obernet website. It loaded and I logged in. I sighed as I went to the message boards. I went on to writersmerge for a while, then Sus Rid. I said hi to some new members and I looked at the artwork in the gallery. By the time I’d done that, mum was telling me to do my homework. I sighed and logged off.
I finished my homework and had to have dinner. I fed my rabbit, dog and cat and cleaned my room a bit. By the time I had finished, I had to get ready for bed. I read in bed for a while before turning the lights out. I went to sleep quickly. The sooner I was asleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, the sooner tomorrow came, the sooner school would be finished, and the sooner school was finished, the sooner I could go on Obernet and have fun. I smiled in my sleep, dreaming about deserts, oceans, one-eyed cats and black horses.
It's only average and I wrote it a while ago, but I felt bad for neglecting to post some writing for so long ~:| I figured something is better than nothing :P
thats great Dinaria. I thought it was going in a whole different direction so it surprised me. Gotta love anything to do with Obernet. ;D
Loved the story Dinaria- I'd love to read more: if you do join Prodders I can read it there- it's a really great place, and when (if) I write anything I might publish later, I put it there.
I also loved the Ober-related story. You write it all very well, and it flows so easily. Keep going :)
I like it- it's very realistic, and unlike most things posted on Writersmerge. It sounds a bit like my life (except I'm facinated by protons, electrons and most other school subjects, except Maths)
Deb - glad you liked it (hehehe, I contradicted your thoughts *feels evil*)
Arwen - Deb is editing it for me and then I'll post it up on prodders ;D
Cam - yeah, I find most things are more fantasy or dramatic. Lolz, protons and stuff don't bore me to death either. A lot of things bore me with repetitiveness, etc, but they weren't too bad. But I'm not exactly enthusiastic about them either... Actually, when I wrote the story, I was bored at everything, but :P to that. lolz ;D