Wanderer Ward
13 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
So I finally found my Reflection Statement for my year 12 Extension #2 major work (the first story I've posted in this thread - "Fantasy"). It only took me three years to find it ::) Anyway, here it is. I'm not sure if anyone would actually be interested in reading it, but I want to put it up so it's at least near the story it's supposed to go with. And as it's okay for me to put it on the internet (as I said, year 12 for me happened three years ago :P ), I want to have a record of it here in case it does a disappearing act again.
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In essence, my short story, “Fantasyâ€, follows the movements and thoughts of characters created in the mind of a lonely seventeen-year-old girl, Mae. This story is intended to take the readers on a journey, showing them that the fantasy that Mae attempts to create for herself as an escape from her real life is inevitably influenced by her actual surroundings and experiences; “There’s no such thing as an uninfluenced fantasy.â€
The composition of “Fantasy†has been influenced by the content of the Advanced English HSC course. In this course, the topic of Module A (Comparative Study of Texts and Contexts) was “In The Wildâ€. The prescribed texts we studied in this unit were Brave New World and “Blade Runnerâ€, two texts that share the related themes of the natural world and humanity’s position within it. The idea of the “natural world†has been portrayed in my own work through rather heavy descriptions of nature, present in both the second and third person sections. These images of a natural world so different from the polluted artificial city later described by Mae reflect her desire to break free not only from her hard-hearted father, but also from the environment she has been raised in, an environment she views to be full of superficial people and objects.
The independent investigation that I undertook in carrying out this work was a process which I enjoyed immensely. Defining the term “short story†gave me a clear indication of where I was headed regarding the requirements of my own composition. Researching aspects of the fantasy story that I initially wished to create, although eventually becoming vastly irrelevant, greatly developed my skills of independent enquiry. Due to the nature of my short story, the most significant and helpful research was that which studied the short story genre. This awakened me to the forms and structure of the short story, as well as the idea that the conclusion of a tale does not have to be all explaining.
Throughout the narrative, I have attempted to maintain the idea that someone is telling a story, that is, recounting a tale that is an entirely separate entity from themselves. Phrases such as “Maybe the reason is that she wanted a son†and “Maybe the reason is that she had more important people to be with†are dispersed throughout the story to show that behind the confusion of the three different personas (Amaya in first person, the mother figure, Aiyana, in third person, and an anonymous persona followed in second person) and the short sections of dialogue used, there is the presence of something representing reasonable thought.
There are several other indications that I have used to suggest that the majority of the narrative is merely the creation of another character in the story. The most notable of these is the inclusion of the song lyrics, “Far Out†by Blur. In the apartment where Mae exists physically, she is listening to this song and her fantasising is therefore continually interrupted by its words. She is influenced to the point of naming one of her imagined characters after a star mentioned in the lyrics, Altair, the absent father. This is intended to emphasise the issue that one of the lines of the song, “Antares, Aldebarn, Altair…â€, the line in which “Altair†is named, does not appear in the narrative with the others. This is something that is done unconsciously by Mae; the desire that she didn’t know or have the father that she does influences her to the point of omitting any reference to his imaginary persona – her brain subconsciously blocks out the only line in the song that can be seen as relating to him.
I am hoping that it is apparent to the reader that the concluding two quotes used in “Fantasy†(“All these dirty words, they make us look so dumb…†and “…And it looks like we might have made it… It looks like we’ve made it to the end…â€) are not mentioned at the beginning of the tale in the initial recital of “Far Outâ€. This is because those lines are not part of that song. They come from the next song on Blur’s album “Parklifeâ€; track nine titled “To The Endâ€. The emergence of these two lines towards the end of the narrative and at the very conclusion is intended to show the reader (and in some respect, Mae, the persona of the story) that life carries on, the CD will roll over and play the next song. There will be a continuation. The lyric “All these dirty words, they make us look so dumb…†is particularly fitting also, as it refers to Mae’s fantasy world, an environment which she can create only with words.
In regard to the different persons in which I wrote the majority of the narrative, I found the composition to be both a rewarding and satisfying yet occasionally frustrating task. Originally I decided to write using first, second and third person purely because the variety suited my writing skills and ensured continued interest in my work. As the tale developed however, I began to see how I could take advantage of the specific characteristics of each perspective. As the story progressed, I decided to not only increase the concentration of first person narrative in comparison to that written in second and third, but also to increase the personal aspect of these sections. This in-depth character development could then be seen as reflecting the gradual realisation felt by the reader of “Fantasy†as it becomes apparent to them that it is a tale being told by someone separate from the direct events.
The third person sections that focused on the bear and the woman (Aiyana, the mother figure in the tale), I was able to make reasonably objective. The reason for this portrayal shows the readers how Mae views her mother, or the idea she has created of what her mother would be like. We can clearly see that although a caring nurturing parent is something Mae yearns for, her image is not uninfluenced by reality. The reality is that her mother left her alone with a seemingly uncaring and verbally abusive father. The image of the bear (which represents Mae) and the fear that “the woman†experiences upon its arrival, symbolise the punishment that Mae feels her abandoning mother is due.
Composing substantial pieces of writing in second person to be used in this major work was a literary experience I had never before encountered. However, I found it to be a gratifying manner in which to write. Using second person emphasises the idea that someone is telling a story; the persona is recounting events for an unseen audience, asking them to project themselves into the shoes of the one in that story.
As the story drew to a close and it became obvious to the reader that another figure was present, making up the events or revelations occurring in the story, the third person persona disappeared leaving the first and second person sections to mingle together. The disappearance of the persona portrayed in third person (the mother figure) reflects the absence of a mother figure in Mae’s own life. The intermingling of the first and second person sections (both at the very end and in the section after the “Wolf 359, Betelgeuse…†song lyric) represent the breaking down of Mae’s imaginary world. Her reality is far too overwhelming for her to successfully create an unrelated environment in which she can happily thrive. The gradually increasing intrusion of aspects of the real world around her and her situation within it decrease her ability to maintain a convincing persona.
For an audience member to fully understand and enjoy the short story I have composed, I think it is essential, first of all, that they read through it several times. The numerous perspectives analysed and their respective developments as the story draws to a close result in a somewhat puzzling and ambiguous work. The determination to fully understand the character of Mae and the aspects of her life that have influenced her imaginary creation, is a necessary attribute for the audience member desiring to attain a comprehensive interpretation of the work.
The didactic tone adopted at the end of the narrative is designed to clearly tell the audience what Mae (and through her character, the audience members themselves) has learnt from her experiences, from both her disrupted and disturbed family life, as well as her attempt to escape it all by living within her own mind.
Though far removed from my initial idea of creating a fantasy story, the narrative I did create (ironically titled “Fantasyâ€), is one that I am happy with. The long winding road to its completion often left me burdened with hot heavy feelings of frustration and anger, directed at my own inadequate attempts to create a worthy composition, however, the pleasure and satisfaction I now feel are rewards enough for my efforts.
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Hopefully I'll have some new material, be it poetry or short stories, to post in this thread soon! :) I feel creative today!
Oh I remember having to write reflection statements, I was terrible at them :P They are always interesting to read though as I like knowing everything about everything, and finding out where people get their ideas from and what they mean by things is always fun.
I really love that reflection statement...you really thought everything out to an incredible level of detail...makes me want to go and do another degree, this time in English...