yeah i know double posting *shrugs*
and i know i said i would do anymore poetry but i wrote this the other day and was wondering if it was kinda good.........
****Fish Pond
Shimmering,
Shining,
Gleaming,
Smooth,
Serene.
Watching,
Swimming,
Pawing,
Splashing,
Sprinkling;
Soaking,
Dripping,
Meowing,
Running,
Calming,
Shimmering,
Shining,
Gleaming,
Smooth,
Serene.
********i have also written this:
it doesn't have a name ....yet
*******They walk among us.
Once creatures of good and peace, they live a life of deceit and lies.
Once pure and white, now dark walking with the other s lost.
They were our saviours, now they are our temptation.****
Part One:Am I mad? Or is what I see real?
Will people think I’m insane if I told them what I can see? I do not hear voices; I see things that no one else can. Not light patches, but wings and teeth, claws and halos.
This is not ordinary; apparently it’s my amazing imagination that makes me see such things. Well that’s what my kindy teacher said when I told her, she’s they only person I’ve ever told. But my kindy teacher had a pair of dragonfly like wings, highly unlikely for her to say that it was all real.
But it is, because I can touch it. The wings, I mean. I don’t get close enough to see if anything else is real but I know it is. It’s just one of those things you know, in your heart.
I wonder if I have anything, I know I can’t because I can’t see anything in the mirror but I hope. I don’t know if having wings or not is good but it gives me a sense of hope. Which is confusing, because I don’t understand any of the feelings I get from the apparently imaginary images.
Maybe I am mad. It would explain what I see, but I don’t think I’m mad.
“Crazy people rarely question whether they are crazy or not.â€
I don’t know where that is from but I know it is true. So I can’t be crazy, or mad. But none of this tells me why I see such things.
Maybe I’m just a fragile person.
I mean I have lots of physical problems. Like I have very weak skin, it bruises and cuts so easily. Two spots on my back, by my shoulder blades, often ache with excruciating pain. I can’t really play sport – that’s why my old school had tests in P.E. because I couldn’t participate. Well, they liked to pretend I did. I wore my P.E. uniform and stood at the back of the court. If I were unlucky the ball would get thrown to me. But normally I was lucky.
The only physical thing I have ever really done would be dance. Ballet to start with then onto ballroom and then to anything I could get into. I can’t remember half of what I learnt was called but I remember everything else perfectly. But that was when I was younger. I didn’t have my shoulder problem then. Although I had a pair of point shoes that I could never use. Ballerina’s toes would often bleed but imagine mine. Well, don’t, they just bleed for ages afterwards and I couldn’t wear shoes for four days afterwards.
Fragile of the body, fragile of the mind – apparently.
Yes I am very delicate.
And because of delicateness and fragility I am very different. And different is a perfect target for bullies. My difference being weakness also makes me an easy target. I can’t defend myself, only hurt myself; it’s not hard to. You could push me over gently and I would fall down with a thud and have a huge bruise the day after, maybe even a cut. I might know a lot about self-defence but I found the subject boring because I couldn’t join in. Back to bullies and such. Yes, I have changed school, six times, well seven including this time, to Yaling High School. Changing primary schools was okay and it was easy. People were nicer and it was very common. But changing high school is hugely different. People stare, glare and frown at you, thinking that you are there to steal their positions in the school ranking. They are wary, make friends easy but dump them even easier. They are cold hearted and only do things if it helps them. Yes, I know that not everyone is like that. It’s just that being new I get caught up in their world and cant escape. Girls are definitely worse than guys. I mean with guys it’s so straight forwards, they fight – not that would help me being a weakling, if I was guy. Girls are sneakier spreading rumours and lies. Calling you things behind your back, saying you like people when you don’t. Taking your stuff and you can’t do it back. Saying no to everything you say, which of course you can’t say back or they hate you. And you’ve never done anything to them.
Yeah, life is so unfair.
That’s why I’m scared.
Like a little five-year-old starting school.
Well I am starting a new school but I’m sixteen not five. That’s eleven years difference. I suppose I’m really scared of being stuck in a prissy Queen bee’s grasp, once they’ve got you it’s impossible to get away. I really don’t want that to happen, I don’t want to change school again. I want to live a semi-normal life. I don’t want to move again, it’s so stressful.
Hopefully I won’t have to. Hopefully I stay until I graduate instead of when I get rude phone calls. And hopefully, only hopefully I’ll come off both pills I take. Well, probably not the anger management ones, I’m still too frail. But hopefully off the anti-depressants.
[ligne][/ligne]do tell me what you think
shadowchild