Yes, all this talk of projects and yet no words [act]disappointed face[/act]
Okay okay, I'll track something suitable down after work today. Anyone would think you were enlisted to harrass me about my writing :P
We have no idea what you're talking about [act]looks around innocently, while glaring[/act]... :P
So I know this thread isn't in prodders but . . . [act]whips out electric cattle prod[/act]
[act]supplies petrol-powered generator to ensure cattle prod lasts long enough to get words happening[/act]
Ah! Okay! I've managed to write eight pages this week. Well, sort of. I typed up eight pages of stuff I'd already written down in a notebook, but I think that counts as progress. Especially since it was all for the project I am trying to foccus on. Which I know, I promised to post a bit of, but clearly haven't yet. I realized while typing it that much of it probably doesn't qualify as PG, which means I have to pick segments with care. I will endevour to find a suitable section, and then I will post it. Either here or in Prodders.
Excellent! I knew these cow prods would come in handy again :D
Random nothing thing I wrote for no reason. |:|
Navy midnight stretched across the world, so that the snow looked blue, and his footprints looked like black holes nipping at his heals.
The pursuit had ended, but there was no reason to slow. And as he walked, rather than being taken over by the exhaustion he ought to feel, he was filled with a new sort of energy. As though the darkness, and the crisp smell of moonlight were filling his body, allowing him to keep moving. His breath was harsh in the silence, and he stilled, trying to calm his ragged exhale, surprised at how numb his throat was, burned by the winter air.
He fell to his knees and rolled onto his back, letting the snow cushion him, cradle him, and he stared up at a mandela of stars.
His fingers were numb. He hadn’t noticed that before. How long ago had he lost feeling in them? Clumsily, he pulled his gloved hands into the sleeves of his coat, bringing them closer to his body.
It started to snow.
It was some time before he realized how strange it was, that it should snow without a cloud in the sky, but by then the flakes were building up around his body, insulating him from the wind.
So, under a cocoon of snow, he let himself sleep.
In the dream, there was a girl. She was beautiful, because women in dreams generally were, but also distant, and cold. Clothed in a dress the same colour as the snow had been under the midnight sky, she stood above him, looking down at his prone form.
He wanted to not be on the ground anymore. He wanted to stand and look her in the eyes, even though the idea of meeting her curious, ice-blue gaze was terrifying.
‘You must wake,’ she said, and her voice was like the wind of a snowstorm, breathy and almost silent, something he felt more than he heard. ‘You still have much to do.’
He woke to the sound of voices, and when he opened his eyes, it was to see strangers looking down at him. None so lovely as the woman he’d dreamed, but their eyes were just as strangely blue.
‘He wakes,’ one of them said. A man, he thought, but it was hard to tell. ‘He lives.’
‘Bring him,’ another said, and he felt himself being pulled from the snow. He watched the pile collapse and wondered that it hadn’t suffocated him.
His hands still pulled inside his coat, he was helpless, and too cold to have done anything anyway. So he let himself be carried out into the mountain tundra... and then through a door he’d never have found if he hadn’t known it was there.
Rock enclosed him, and flaming torches were lit. Though their colour seemed strangely pale, they were warmer than anything he’d ever imagined, and his limbs immediately started to thaw. Painfully.
They carried him some ways into the rock, then lay him down on the floor in what was either a small room or a natural widening of the tunner. It was hard to tell when all he could think of clearly was the tingling burn in his body.
They gave him something to drink, and it made him sleep, which was for the best.
Beautiful description, Ama. Do you plan to take this further?
Ooh, yes. I absolutely adore that description of the sky. Very moving.
Also, of course, she plans to take it further. Did you not see that ninja Darga. I bet ama is working on another of her stories. tut tut
|:| what ninja? Shonkie, I think you're delusional.
What if I told you I wasn't working on any other stories? Would you believe me?
Edit: Okay, question.
When working with a character who is about to have a vision of the upcoming events, how much of that vision should be shared with the reader? Assming that her interpretation of events is correct, and that when the events actually happen, they are described through someone else's POV, is it acceptable to use the vision as a way of showing both character's reactions to the events, or would it only get tedious for the reader to have to go through them twice?
Did that make sense?
I think it's fine to have both the vision and the event. It's not going to be tedious for the character, is it? She's going to see the same thing twice... For the reader, it will give us an insight into what it's like to get e glimpse of the future.
Very intriguing... I also loved the description in the above piece. Just one typo, "heals" might be "heels" :) That is all. :D
As Darga said, it could be more teasing for the reader to have glimpses of the event in the vision and then have it play out in full later so they at least get some new information and it isn't merely a repetition. However, because you mentioned using a different character, the way the event plays out would be altered through their eyes, so you could play around with wording to get the two sides of the story. That way there's a broader description. Just an opinion, hope that helps :) Keep up the great writing!
Alright, I think I'll give it a shot then. I suppose I can always edit the vision out later if needed, too. Thanks for the advice peoples :D