I just thought I'd put an update and a bit of my story on here.
I'm working on Chapter 13 right now :)
I will try and post something a bit longer than last time, the only thing is, it's hard to post things without giving much/anything away, so bear with me.
Also, my last reminder, as this book is not finished, it has not been edited, but feel free to point things out, as also, since it isn't finished therefore my Aunty hasn't gone over it yet, I can still make changes. :P
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I found the ‘old friend’ out the back of the club, where people went to make-out, deal drugs, and smoke. This time, though, it was devoid of all of those people, with only one person. He turned, and smiled at me, the malice on his face undeniable. “Long time, no see, don’t you think?†He said.
“Not long enough, in my book,†I replied, folding my arms.
“Still the same I see, Parker,†He noted to me, amused.
“As are you, Kane.†I sensed another person coming. “Hello, Elle.â€
Elle came out of the shadows, her fingers not touching the wall, but electric sparks following her hand along the wall, a bit like when a child would walk past a fence and glide a stick along it. Her long blonde curls bounced as she walked, and the electric sparks reflected in her dark black eyes. She was my age, but she had been spoilt, and she acted like a spoilt brat, “Hello,†She replied, her girly, innocent voice replied. She came up to Kane, and took his hand. Kane’s dark eyes were now protective of Elle, and I knew this was because he loved her. His brown hair looked black in the shadows, but the dim light coming from the back of the club showed that his hair was actually brown.
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That was the first paragraph of Chapter 8. :)
I hope this makes sense :/ :P:P
I like it but I don't think you should say spoilt twice in the same sentance.
And electric sparks is too close together.
But other then that, I love it. :)
14 years ago
Wed Mar 10 2010, 07:32pm
I don't often write poems (if that's what you call these :/), but sometimes I will. I thought I'd put some up here.
A World of Mysteries
I lay down, my towel damp from the cool grass, my hair lying around me, moving softly to the cool breeze. I look up at the stars, and I am peaceful. I do not worry about anything, I do not doubt.
I let my mind wander, and I think about things; I think about life, and how there has to be something more out there. I have no doubt in my mind that magick exists, nor do I believe that I cannot see it, for it is everywhere, even though we cannot see it often.
One star is brighter than the others, and I draw my eyes over to the bright star, staring in wonder.
I feel like gravity has left me, and I am floating somewhere beautiful.
I am no longer part of Earth, but part a world full of mysteries, where thought and speech is but one, and time has no meaning. I dance with the stars, for in this place there is no real form, just light and the night sky.
The stars are talking to me, telling me it is time for me to leave. I respond, ‘I do not want to leave, must I leave?’
‘Our world will always be here, and you will always know how to find us.’
With that, I unwillingly leave, although I know I will be back soon.
The Dance of the Stars
I lay down, staring at the night sky. There is no breeze tonight, and the night is warm. I stare up ahead, and now I am accustoming to the stars. I watch the stars, and slowly, I see life in the stars. It is beautiful. The stars are dancing, each star with its own dance, each one unique. The light of the stars flicker around me, but I keep my attention to the dance of the stars.
My vision falters, and now I know I am no longer in my body, as I have been here before. This place is beautiful yet mysterious, a world of mysteries. This place is where thought and speech is one, and where time doesn’t exist. I know this world is the Land of Stars, as the stars had whispered it to me.
Now I am dancing with the stars, and the beauty is blinding. There is no sound, yet I can sense the happiness all around me. We dance and dance, even my dance is unique.
My spirit is dancing in the land of stars, and that’s all that matters.
The stars whisper to me, telling me the sun will be up in my home soon, and I must return. I resign, but only because I know I will be back.
My vision falters again, and now I am back in my body. I stare back up at the sky, and see the stars still dancing. I smile.
‘This is the dance of the stars.’ I think to myself.
The Girl Behind the Mask
She gets out of bed, pretending everything is alright,
Stares out the window, and holds back her tears.
Her smile in the mirror isn’t hers, and neither is she,
She is a façade, for she fears that she will expose what lies beyond that façade.
She is wearing a mask, and no one knows,
For the girl behind the mask, is sad and blue,
A crumpled little girl, who knows too much,
And yearns for things that are beyond her reach.
She tries to open up, but her mask only thickens,
Concealing herself deeper and deeper,
Into a pit of lies and façades,
Hoping that one day, she can break free.
I wrote the last one when I was in a really, really bad/sad mood, but trust me, I tend to write things more like my first two, not the last one.
My mind decided that it was time to begin another book, not caring that I have two in the making already... :|
I wrote the Prologue, and I'll post it here. The books going to be different to my other ones I post (I hope), and yeah..oh, and the main character is actually a female, the prologue just has a male as the character. :P
Let me know what you think :)
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PREFACE
The tree branches stuck out in his way, but dodging them was effortless. He ran as fast as he could, knowing that they would not be far behind…they were impeccably fast runners.
He had to find a secure location – with not so many trees – so he could take them down. That’s what he was trained to do.
He came into a clearing and jumped into one of the trees, hoping to fool them and surprise them, but it didn’t work. He stared down at the three of them, completely covered in black clothing so that they were un-recognizable, and they looked up as soon as they came into the clearing – straight at his hiding place.
He jumped out of the trees, and landed on the ground just in time to get punched in the face by one of them. They started to attack him, but he defended himself, and got a lot of good blows in himself. Now he was attacking, and they were backing up.
He had been on a search, and just as he had thought he had gotten somewhere, they had appeared, and he had led them here, so that no one saw their attack on him. He was on a search, and he wasn’t going to give up on it until the day he died. ‘Which could very well be today’ he thought.
He had managed to knock them down, and before he could run, something caught his eye. He turned his head towards the light, and realised with horror that it was sunset. How had he not seen it before? He knew how dangerous it was to be out after sunset…there were many things lurking about…all of which hated him and his kind. He didn’t have any more time to think about that, because his attackers were up again, and one had just kicked him very hard. He spun around, but it was too late. One of them drove a knife through him, piercing his heart. He looked into his attackers eyes for the first time, and saw the pitch-black, dark and fathomless eyes staring at him mercilessly. He could feel himself sinking onto his knees, and then onto his back. Staring up at the sky, he thought ‘I am dying’.
That was when the darkness washed over him.
Wow. It's deep I'll give you that much FL ;D. Will the rest of the book have that much death in it? o_O
I like the way it is written. It certaintly makes me want to find out what his kind is, as you so put it. Well done!
I really like it, FL. :nod: I'm intrigued by your characters and their back-stories. I'd definitely like to find out more.
It's a good prologue. Prologues should usually have lots of action, mystery, etc. - something that grips the reader and makes them want to find out what happens. Once the reader's hooked, then you're free to take your time with setting, character development, etc. during the chapters. ;D I think you did that very well - it's a great idea for a prologue. :nod: I'm definitely interested.
14 years ago
Fri Mar 12 2010, 07:04pm
Lol thanks BM. LOL at the death thing, not ALL of my books are made up of death...you're the second person to ask that today :P :P
Edit: thanks Avialle too, I didn't see your post there. ~:|
LIAR! You're always killing people! Now go and write chapter 14 of JP2 and prove me wrong!! :P
14 years ago
Fri Mar 12 2010, 04:31pm
I know, right?!!!? I think she's addicted to killing people.
Once again, FL, I'm very curious about this guy- Love the preface, can't wait to see what you come up with. ;D
I love it!
I almost stopped in the middle but I'm extremely tired. [act]yawns[/act]
But if I don't go to sleep in the middle it must be awesome :-"
If this doesn't make sense my excuse is I'm tired. Ask me in the morning.
What I was trying to say is that it's really great and I'd like to see more :)
Thank you, you guys!! Tehe at Shonks and Smuffs. Alright, alright!! I'll get straight to chapter 14 already!!! *stomps off* I have all night, I can work on two books...right? :/ Well, three, but heh, who's counting? ::)
:P
Where's my chapter 14 -- Don't tell me I'm going to have to start kicking you for not writing as well :|
I've been busy *defiantly* and besides, I have to work out the stuff for my birthday party, which is TOMORROW. Plus I have assignments. When I have the time I'll do it, I can guarantee you. *apologises* will you ever forgive me, shonkie-darling?
[strike]NO I WILL NOT[/strike]
That's fine. I know what it is like to be busy -- or at least should be busy. [act]blatantly keeps ignoring the psych report and lit essay that need to be done[/act]
WOW!!!!!!I NEED to read more!!!!!!! haha....i'm cowriting two books and writing another three by myself........if i could say i was happy with any of them it would be great....*sigh*
BUT U R BRILLIANT!!!!!! REALLY!!!!!!!! BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha :-} thank you so much Arha, I don't know what else to say except that I'm flattered! :-}
FL!! You have not posted up any actual writting in... 12 days!!!! I demand some NOW!!! ... haha I'm just joking. [act]glomps FL... without shattering the spinal collumn |:|[/act] You can take as long as you like. I know I take forever in posting stuff, especially lately... ~:| But I would like to read more of your work, and didn't you say you have a new story coming along? What is that one about?
My new one is - so far - about a girl named Alexa Jones, who, at the start of the book, is turning sixteen. Things go hay-wire from there, though, because many bad things happen after that: her best friend is murdered, her reflexes, strength, etc, become better, her mother disappears....and I must stop now, before I give anything ELSE away! :D
But I thought I'd post a few things up here, mostly so I can make two fellow obernetters very proud, one of which has absolutely no idea that I'm doing this.
Well, every book, I dedicate my book to someone. My second 'I Am Jessica Parker' book had no dedications, neither did my 'Alexa Jones' one (Alexa Jones isn't the actual name...it's just what I'm calling it for now), because I tend to leave the dedications until after I finish my books. But things have happened that have made me fairly certain of who I want to dedicate each book to, and those two people are, in fact, obernetters!!
The person who has Alexa Jones dedicated to them already knows this, but the person who I've dedicated IAJP-2 to, has no idea, as I only just decided it!
I'll put the two dedications for each book up here.
The Alexa Jones dedication:
This book is dedicated to Mahalia Randall-Demllo ‘Smuffy’, for being such an enthusiast of my work and always being there for me and my books.
The IAJP-2 dedication:
This book is dedicated to Sionainn Wallace ‘Shonkies’, for having so much faith in me and my books, and never allowing me to give up.
Congrats Smuffs and Shonks, you deserve them. :-"
Also, I thought I'd put a bit of Chapter 14 from IAJP-2 up here: the chapter everyone's been bugging me about. :P
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I stared at Zach. He breathed in an out, slowly, and raggedly. Suddenly, another form shimmered into view. I looked up from Zach, and saw…Zach?
This Zach wasn’t bloodied, shirtless, or half-dead. This Zach was gorgeous. The mere sight of him quickened my heart-beat – as usual. He smiled at me. He looked down at the tortured Zach and shook his head at him, touched him, and that Zach suddenly healed himself. He looked up, and walked into smiling Zach…literally. Instead of knocking him over, he sort of…merged with smiling Zach.
Now just one Zach, he smiled and disappeared.
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I'm sorry, I know it isn't much, but this chapter has a lot of spoilers in it if you haven't already read the first book, and the chapters of the second. Also, I would like to let you know that she is sort of dreaming in this...'sort of' being...well, that's the best I can say without giving anything away. :nod:
Sorry about the short-ness of that, and I'll try to put more in next time.
I love it, FL! I really want to keep reading. The dream-thing was pretty good, I like it when you have some cool mysterious stuff happening and you have to keep reading to find out what happens! :-"
I've really liked reading all your work. :D The new (Alexa Jones) one sounds really cool. Keep going!
13 years ago
Sat May 01 2010, 06:42pm
*giggles* :-} Oooh, does Shonkie know yet? I want to see her reaction. :P
I was all 'OMG' to see Zach again! :D (L)
:D I don't think Shonkies's been on since then, so that means she has no idea! :O
I want to see her reaction too. Can't wait. :D
I love it when Zach re-appears. :nod:
Update? UPDATE!! :D
I've been doing writing...yes, MORE writing, and not just of the book sort. I might quote a bit from the latest of my Jessica Parker 2 book, and then put some stuff I wrote on here too. Sound good? :) :)
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Deep in thought, I didn’t notice anyone was near until they spoke. “Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.â€
Immediately pulled out of my thoughts, I turned to my right, and saw the reason I took the chance to love in the first place.
Standing next to me, his beauty was blinding…always blinding. I gasped at the sight at him, as I hadn’t expected him to come…at least not so soon. His messy yet perfect sandy blonde hair was being ruffled by the breeze, and his blue eyes seemed to match the sky perfectly. He had slight crinkles next to his eyes as he smiled at me, warmly and filled with love. Oh, and his body. He was wearing a white shirt that seemed to cling to his chest and muscles, and he wore white pants, too. I noticed that, like me, he was barefooted. And his voice? Oh, it was heaven.
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yes. I'm aware that totally teases you guys...I didn't even put the name on there. ^_^ Sorry!! Though if Smuffs or Shonks reads this, they will most definately give away the identity to who it is... :P
Here's a thing I wrote...there's sort of several of them, a bit like a series of them? This is the first one, in anycase.
Darkness
The darkness consumes me,
And I’m lost in a sea of black.
I no longer feel, hear, see, smell or touch.
All I know is I’m in a world full of darkness and pain.
All I feel I feel is pain, anger, sorrow, rage,
And it will not go away.
I want to escape,
I know I should escape,
But I don’t know how.
Help me,
Whoever’s out there,
Please just help me,
Before I’m gone for good.
I need to know what’s going on,
And I want to leave this void of darkness,
And trade it with the void of light.
It won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible.
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If you want me to put the rest of them up just let me know.
Also, I wrote this...around 1-4.30am yesterday at a party...on my phone. :/ But yeah. What do you think?
Fire
It is the heat of emotions,
Making each one unique.
It is the passion of lovers,
As they melt into each others’ embrace.
It is in the centre of the earth,
Helping keep the world together.
It is in the hearts of the living,
Keeping us whole.
It is one of the five elements,
Wind, Fire, Water, Earth, Spirit.
It is fire.
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Let me know what you think? :D *chews lip nervously*
Yosh, I'm most certainly thinking about giving away his identity. But that means more competition. |:|
Oooh, a mysterious man... nice description, though. I loved both of the poems, especially Darkness. As always, brilliant stuff, FL! :D
Smuffy: Ahaha, true, true. We have enough competition as it is.... |:|
Fate: Aww!! Thanks!!! :D :D :-} And yeah, haha, mysterious men are awesome. :D
*sighs* Here's the next two following Darkness :
Escaping
I escape,
And I am no longer in the darkness,
But I am not in the light, either.
I am walking the line of light and dark,
And both want to consume me.
Darkness swirls around me and angry, black, misty coils,
And all I feel is anger, rage, pain, fear, sorrow.
Lightness swirls too,
Full of happiness, peacefulness, contentment, love.
And now it looks like a dance.
Lightness
It is peaceful here,
And everything is full of love and joy.
I can feel my soul inside of me,
My very essence,
And I am happy.
The air is full of Light and joy,
And your senses are happily aware,
Of every small detail,
Taking in the beauty of everything.
It is not dark here,
Not sad, not painful.
It is light and joyful,
Peaceful and loving...
I like it here.
But something rips me from the lightness,
Dragging me back out
Into the thin tightrope
Between Light and Dark,
And the dance begins.
If you guys like these ones too, let me know and I'll put the last two up there. :)