Mystic Ward
13 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
I like silence too. The rhythm in Promise is a little out but I like it.
I'm with Deb and Smuffy. Silence is a good poem.
13 years ago
Sat Apr 24 2010, 08:54pm
i looo (L)ooovvvvveeee freedom i agree so much with the freedom of the heart. and i think i agree with the fact that we will never truly understand FREEDOM i mean all we know is how we live our lives.[act]smiles and thinks of all theories related to poem[/act] :-"
Fly
To fly away
From here,
Is what I would
Like to do.
Fly away
From the troubles,
Of the
Endless life.
Leaving,
I will fly away,
Won't come back
Today.
13 years ago
Thu Jun 03 2010, 10:13am
Your poems are really good. I like the way that they are short and to the point. They are much more loosely structured than most of my poems, and aren't hemmed in by a rhyming scheme. Keep up the good work.
Gosh!!! My thread had gotten to the bottom of the second page!!
Re-alives thread (if that makes sense)
Here's some poems I've been working on lately... I overcame my poem writers block just the other day.
Some of these were inspired by music, others by books...
And I think that most of the poems don't have a steady rhyme/ rhythm... and that's how it's meant to be :nod:
The Last Time
This is the last time
I'll abandon you,
As I take
My life.
Please no!
Don't go!
This is the last time
I'll forget you,
As I fall,
Into the abyss.
Another Goodbye
Another blackout,
Do you remember
Our last
Goodbye?
Another fadeout,
This time
You won't make me
Cry.
Escape
Footsteps,
On the ground.
Don't make,
Another sound.
We'll try,
To get away.
Make it through,
Another day.
To The Fight! (Eragon)
Brisingr!
Call the true-name.
Fire!
Shoot up from
The blue sword.
Saphira!
Onwards to victory.
Doomed (Oromis (from Eragon))
Can't last
Another day,
In this brutal
War.
Come what
May,
In my mind
We still
Soar.
Dying Thoughts
Are you afraid
To die?
Do the thoughts
Consume you,
So you can't sleep?
Are you afraid
To try?
Do you toss and turn
In such agony,
That you think you might weep?
You'll never know,
I won't tell you why.
Why the ocean you
Drown in
Is so deep.
I really like the last one. :)
Wanderer Ward
13 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
I like Another Goodbye Jelli :) I really like your use of line structure.
I loved all of them! The poems are short but contain so much power in the words. I haven't read the Eragon books but the ones based on them also held great energy. I agree with Kaede that your line structure is great. :)
12 years ago
Sat Nov 17 2012, 05:59pm
Okay, so these are some random thoughts I tried to make into a poem. It kinda fails.
I Have You
I'd lost all hope in this,
In you. There was no going back
To how it used to be.
But then it happened; All of my dreams,
They came true right then. I have everything
I have ever wanted
And so much more.
You are the fire that lights up my life,
The reason I am still here at all.
I had given up all reason,
But you brought me back, just by being
you, please keep being you
Jelli! You're back! :D
Your poem totally does not fail. I really liked it, there's a very interesting spacing with the lines that gives a jagged flow that captures the tone. Just one suggestion, instead of the semicolon on the fourth line, maybe if you wrote it with a colon...
"But then it happened: All of my dreams..."
Another amazing piece :)
I like it. It's hopefull, wishfull. And the style works. I like writing like that ;P It gives more space for freedom in your words :P
11 years ago
Sun Nov 18 2012, 06:11am
Okay, so I just escaped from those pesky slavers, and I'm here to update allllllll the writing I missed out on giving you guys in the past year... Maybe not ALL, there's alot. But here's some :P (I can't believe that my thread got to the end of the second page, AGAIN).
Stand Up
We need to stand up
To fight for what's right
There's good in the world
But there could be so much more
We need to stand up
And make life right
Fight for those who can't help themselves
For those who are nearly gone
We need to stand up
Now You're Dead And Gone (For Elijah)
How do I handle the truth of the world?
I can't bear the thought of you gone
And yet you were never there in the first place
I sent you away so I wouldn't have to deal with life
And now you're dead
Did I mean to? I'm still so sorry
But sorry isn't really saying anything
I regret the decision that made your life invalid.
I View You
As red as the blood that drips down your wrists
Is the rage in which I view you
As black as the depths of our combined souls
Is the despair in which I view you
As green as the grass you told me you loved me in
Is the envy in which I view you
As grey as the cold, hard concrete you left me on
Is the love in which I view you
As clear as the water that flows from your eyes
Is the way in which I view you
Sometimes
Sometimes, sometimes, life overwhelms you
When you're overcome with grief
It will all flow over you, around you
Drown in sorrow, fall to pieces
Don't tell me it's alright when you can't bring her back.
Sometimes, sometimes, life fair surrounds you
When you're happy in his arms
It will make you feel alive, so awake
Float in love, heal your soul
It doesn't matter, it's okay, I don't need her anyway?
Your poetry is so somber and yet so beautiful. I especially like I view you. It is so poetic and lovely in its sadness.
So I wrote some poems while reading The Stone Key about a month back. Enjoy :P
Oh My Deepest Truest Love This one's about Rushton at the start of TSK. From Elspeth's perspective.
Oh my deepest truest love,
What are you hiding from me?
Your gaze of such despair,
Surely you should know I'll be there.
Oh my sweetest most passionate love,
Tell me if you are hurting please.
You say you feel nothing anymore,
But it seems only me you so savagely deplore.
Oh my most painful purest love,
Did you really think that I would not see?
You are all I've ever wanted from life,
But I shall leave you be for I only fill your heart with strife.
Is There Ever A Choice? Again, about Rushton. This one is when Elspeth is going through Rushton's mind after he attacks her at Ariel's house. From Elspeth's perspective.
Dear one, sweet one
Our time of tragedy is here
Both of our lives in this single moment
Is there hope for love to come?
My home, my Ravek
I would risk everything for you
Be it my life or the world
There is nothing I will not do to save our love.
Leave you, save you
My choice will always be your life
It does not matter what destruction could have come
Our love is worth the fate of the Earth.
I Am Not Myself This one is Domick and Mika. Switches between the two of them. Goes Domick then Mika then Domick then Mika. Not really sure at what point in TSK this is... Before he goes to the West Coast, but I don't know how long before then it is...
Running from myself
All I pray is to leave me behind
A shelter of love waits ahead
But I will catch me in time
I am so weak
Trying in vain to hide from me
Nothing will ever keep me away
I am my darkest heart's desire
I can never escape
A deal with myself can never be denied
Maybe letting go will not hurt her again
Lud knows that's all I ever did
Always a quitter
That's who I truly am
But I will revenge against me
In this I doom myself to die
I really enjoyed your Domick/Mika poem, Jelli. Their relationship has always interested me, and you have shown the struggle between the two well. I like how you are writing it more as two aspects of the same character, rather than different characters in the same body. Having each persomality still refer to the other one as themselves is really effective.
I also liked your Rushton ones. You captured Elspeth's sense of desperation well.
:)
I really like 'the last time' :) especially the footsteps... paragraph and the last paragraph