Due to uni this semester I have been pretty inactive on the site. I hav decided though to re-read all the ober books, and get into responding and creating threads. I am really excited because next semester I am going on exchange to The University of Virginia, USA and will be taking a writing class. I wanted to post a few poems just to test them out and get some feedback. Any offerings of help would be appreciated. Here's my first poem:
I've never been to stockholm but...
A degree means nothing much
But by degrees a circle is made.
I could never have been swayed
Without a circle clock's touch.
A social gun to my skin
I met you and became hostage.
I could muster no hint of courage
to barb you with a public sting
In time we were forced together
from first hate grew tolerance
You challenged my every stance
my opinions you untethered.
Soon your adversarial words
became a language I could speak.
Our communications reached their peak
when my voice you finally heard.
tolerance breeds like, and like in turn breeds love.
I am now willing captive of your presence
put your hands on my face-
Embrace me like a gun.
Hope you guys liked it/ can suggest anything. i shall try and post more here soon. :rolling:
P.S the title relates to "stockholm syndrome" which is where a hostage/ kidnapped person falls in love with their captors
EDIT: here a re two more poems. They are a part of a collection where the last line of a poem is the title of the next poem in the sequence:
No coded message exists
In the dust cloud that
Still pollinates the air.
Only the question
Of who is to blame;
Who is the person
Who can look at
The world and
You Are my Fault
I know you’re sad
I see you turn your head
As you pass a mirror.
There is shame
In looking at shame.
If you got this far, thanks for reading!
I read through these a bit ago, but i didn't post, cause i had to hurry off. I'm sorry bout that. These poems are rly good, they flow well. Also, i love the idea where you have the next poem titled as the last poems last sentence. That is rly cool. The first poem is rly emotional, and i like it alot. Keep writing!!