OBERNEWTYN Screenplay
Scene One (Prologue)
Screen is black. In the background is lilting, Celtic-type music. Fade in. We see numerous shots of the wild, green countryside of Rangorn. Title appears on screen.
Title disappears again and camera continues to span around. Camera rests on small, homey-looking house surrounded by trees.
Cut to kitchen inside house. A dark-haired woman, Lynna, is chopping up vegetables for nightmeal. She glances out of the window.
Outside a young boy, aged around eight or ten, is running towards the house. Cut back to Lynna in the kitchen as the boy bursts in.
Lynna: Where have you been?
The boy ignores her and pops a bit of carrot into his mouth.
Lynna: Jes! (Exasperated)
Jes: What?! (Indignant)
Lynna gives her son a dirty look and continues chopping up the food.
Lynna: Where’s your sister?
Jes shrugs, unconcerned.
Jes: Where’s Papa?
Lynna stops and instantly her face grows worried. After a moment she glances out of the window again.
Lynna: He’ll be home soon.
Cut to shot of man riding a bay horse across a field. The horses’ hooves are thundering loudly.
Cut back to kitchen.
Jes: In time for dinner?
Music in background is slightly eerier.
Lynna: Maybe.
Jes moves away from the bench and goes back over to the door.
Lynna: Jes! Stay here!
Jes rolls his eyes and moves back.
Jes: Its not like nightmeal is anytime soon…and Elf gets to play outside still…(grumbling)
Lynna puts down the knife she’s holding and storms out the back door angrily.
Lynna: Elspeth!
Cut back to man on horse galloping furiously. He glances behind him. The sun is setting.
Cut Back to Lynna in garden. She calls out more urgently.
Lynna: ELSPETH!
There is a loud bang and Lynna whirls around, startled. There is a gruff shout from inside.
Cadell: Lynna?
Lynna, looking anxious again, goes back into the house. Her husband stands in the middle of the room looking afraid.
Lynna: Cadell…what is it? (Afraid)
Cadell: We’ve been caught. Soldierguards are on their way.
Lynna gasps, horrified.
Lynna: They followed you here?
Cadell: We have to leave.
The music in the background becomes urgent. Cut to shot of a dozen or so soldierguards, all wearing yellow capes, on horseback heading in the same direction.
Lynna: Jes! Leave it, go to the stables and get four horses!
Cut back to house as Lynna shouts this. Jes nods and obediently races out through the front door and around to the side of the house, where a large barn holding five horses stands surrounded by trees. He goes in.
Cut back to Lynna and Cadell. There is a sudden thumping on the door. Both freeze and glance at each other before staring at the door.
Cut to a new scene. Elspeth, aged about six or seven, wanders around under the shade of the huge trees admiring the sunset. She looks happy and peaceful.
Cut back to house. Soldierguards are standing around the house. A Herder is with them. Some of the townsfolk have come out to investigate the source of the disturbance.
One of the soldierguards mutters something to the Herder, who pauses briefly, thinking, then nods. The soldierguard shouts an order and proceeds to break the door down. Cut to shot of Cadell grabbing the knife that Lynna dropped before and standing with it warily as the door is being bashed away. Slowly he moves closer to the door, holing the knife at the ready.
Cut to shot of Elspeth turning away and making her way slowly down the hill towards her house, entirely unaware of any disturbance.
Cut back to Lynna and Cadell. The soldierguard manages to break the door down and instantly three or four of them burst into the house, shouting, swords drawn. Cadell kills one with his knife but is overpowered. Lynna screams and tries to help him but is held back by the soldierguards and is also overpowered. Cut to outside. More people have come out to watch. Jes, struggling, is being held by two soldierguards. Its growing dark. The Herder steps forwards as Lynna and Cadell are dragged out of the house, both injured and swearing at the soldierguards.
Herder: Lynna and Cadell Gordie – you are hereby charged by the Council as being guilty of Sedition and passing on information to rebels. (Triumphant)
Jes: No!
Elspeth suddenly appears from behind the house. Curiously, she wanders around only to see the Herder raising a torch and standing before her parents. She screams and races forward.
Lynna: Elspeth!
Elspeth: No! Mamma -
A soldierguard comes forward and takes a strong hold on her, putting his hand over her mouth. Elspeth bites him.
Elspeth: Papa –
The Herder continues, now addressing the crowd.
Herder: This is a message to all those out there who believe the Lore is below them. Seditioners – you break the Lore, and Lud will see you rightfully punished!
With that he lifts the torch and throws it onto the roof of the house. It immediately catches fire. Lynna and Cadell are thrown into the house and are instantly trapped.
The flames grow bigger and bigger and create a haze over the screen. The sound of the crackling flames is intensified and the only other thing we can hear is the music, soft in the background, somber and mournful. Through the haze we see a shot of Elspeth and Jes standing side by side, both watching their house and parents Burn with tears pouring down their faces. Slowly the camera moves upwards and focuses on the starry sky, blurred with the rising smoke.
Scene Two (The Orphan Home)
Oh no!!!
That was cool! It was short and vivid, which was great. My only suggestion for now is that you put the title AFTER this scene.
That's all. I'll read it again later when I'm less distracted. (damn you MSN)
KSL

Mystic Ward
20 years ago

Mystic Ward
Rebel
I dont think i'll like what comes next [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/shocked.gif" alt=":o" border="0"/> [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/wink.gif" alt=";)" border="0"/>
Have you written more? When can we see it?!! [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/cheesy.gif" alt=":D" border="0"/>
It soooooo good!
good idea Kayt, i'll fix that up later (that is, when i can be bothered)
just to give you an idea, after this scene we go to the kinraide orphan home, elf has a convo with jes about how she got a mysterious cut on her head which seems to be affecting her brain, jes' intentions to join the herders, and jes' relationship with rosamunde. then comes a scene with elf and maruman, maybe something about how they met or how elf discovered her talent, and then to another scene in which the arrival of madam vega is announced to the orphan home...the second scene should be coming soon. since its holidays i'll get things done faster. thanks for reading!! please feel free to critisice it in whatever way you like (excluding everything that is not constructive, of course)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very nice Brydie!
i made an attempt at an ober screenplay a while back but got distracted with other stuff. mine was/is heaps different to yours tho'. i opened with a general this is what is happeneing in the land, giving a bit of a history, then dove into the story. but i really like yours!
keep writing! i want to read more!
MysteriKat
AWESOME!! Huzzuh Brydie!!
I have a suggestion too...you don't have to use it. What if you have Elspeth somehow fortell the coming of the soldierguards (I know she's not a Futureteller, but it'd be a way to let the audience know she has talents - and she DOES have that vision in kinraide of the eye seeking her when she's looking at the moon in Ober). Perhaps have her in the house initially, humming away softly drawing something, and while the dialog is going on between Jes & Lynna, have Elspeth look up well before the horses are heard and see the house engulfed in flames (or is that too dramatic?). This causes her to run into the kitchen, just as the horses are heard...or something.
Just an idea! lol.
I was going to make a similar suggestion. I think it needs some kind of early indication of Elf's powers.
I thought perhaps she could use coercion or farseeking, as those are her major talents. I don't know. Mayeb she can be casually farseeking, the way she often does, and she can sense the soldierguards comign. Her parents know about her Talents, so perhaps she can warn them. That would indicate that this isn't an ordinary girl without revealing exactly why she's so Talented.
Incidentally, YAY!!! Min's back!!! *grugs*
KSL
I love this, Brydie. You have an incredible talent for screenwriting and I hope that one day, I'll be able to go and see a movie of yours and tell everyone in immediate vicinity that, "I know the person who wrote and directed that!"
The suggestion made by Kayt and Min is a good one and I think you have the perfect opportunity to put a hint of Elspeth's powers into this scene:
Cut to a new scene. Elspeth, aged about six or seven, wanders around under the shade of the huge trees admiring the sunset. She looks happy and peaceful.
You could have Elspeth using her beastspeaking talent, to hear the news of the approaching soldierguards from a nearby horse, or something. Now, I know Elf doesn't discover she can speak to animals until she meets Maruman, so it doesn't have to be obvious. Just a flash of the horses approaching, which puzzles the little Elspeth, when she sees there's only a horse or a dog or something nearby. It's just a thought. [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
I hope you post the next scene soon - I'm really enjoying this. [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/cheesy.gif" alt=":D" border="0"/>
wow, I'm surprised so many people liked it...i thought it would be slaughtered [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> thankee kindly!!
as for elf having a premonition about the approaching soldierguards, i originally wrote in a bit where she thought she saw them approaching but then there was nothing, but then i decided against it, because it seems to be that she has been so happy, growing up just as a little girl ought to, and until her parents are burned her world is completely undisturbed. of course, then her parents die - thats when everything starts to fall apart. she's alone, jes is distant, she frightened, and on top of all that she's just discovered she's a misfit. lynna and cadell's death almost marks the end of something and the beginning of another. but i can certainly include your suggestions. i'll play around with it andwe'll see how it fits!!
anyway, MysteriKat - i was planning to leave the history of the land to a scene with matty, dameon, elspeth and louis larkin on the farms at obernewtyn. they can have a conversation about it, maybe have some flashbacks, and that should explain how the land ended up the way it is...make sense??
I luv it!
i agree that Elf's powers should be noticed. If her dad wa a talent and maybe hid it from her you could have something like:
elf sitting under the trees like you already had, but then sees throught her dads eyes o her dad farseeks to her.
the beaste speaking is also a cool idea!
But is is GREAT!!!
Aha, I see what you mean - you want to make the catalyst that brings Elf's talents to the surface her parents dying? Rather than indicating that she's had them all her life...?
Has she? That might be something to debate. Was Elf always able to farseek & corerce people? Like Bunly said, she only realised she could talk to animals when Maruman came along...
Some indication of her talents would still be interesting though...maybe something more subtle then...?
Elspeth's first premonition in Ober is the moon turning into an eye, representing Vega seeking her out...dunno.
When she's trying to hide from the Herder in Farseekers by coercing him to look away, she recalls that this was how she used to play hide and seek with Jes. Off-hand, I can't remember if she played it like this when she was living with her family, or when they were in the Orphan Houses.
This would seem like a good topic for the Theories board, now that I think about it. [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/cheesy.gif" alt=":D" border="0"/>
True - that's a very good point!
*ponders*
...*realises she's at work and shouldn't be pondering* oops.
Lol [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/grin.gif" alt=";D" border="0"/>
Yep, thats what I meant, but now you mention it something doesn't make sense (maybe another mistake?) Elspeth definately says that she was first awoken to her powers when she met Maruman, but then she says she could coerce Jes - plus, in the flashback with her father as they were travelling to Sutrium she recalls listening to his thoughts. *also ponders*
ooo captues my interest greatly!
the way i see it is she wasnt aware of her beastspeaking, or the strength of her powers until she met maruman. though its been a few months since i read ober and i cant get to my copy atm so someone might wanna check that
i've decided that Elspeth was already aware of her talents before she met Maruman, so in that scene when they first meet Maruman would be the one who was surprised by the fact that a funaga was talking to him...ok with everyone??
sounds kool......it could be a sort of thing where it is only based on OC, like a series of unfortunate events in only based on the first three books, not actually telling the same story!
Sounds good Brydie.
I don't think it's possible for any of us to write a script far from the true story though - we're too protective of the series as a whole.