the sisters find their way across Keltor and embroiled amongst playersthis line needs an 'and are' embroiled maybe??? I'd also put in something about Embers career on earth and Glynn's sense of responsibility, but that's me. I don't think it's too long at all.
This sentence is maybe a bit dragged out... Perhaps split the themes into their own sentence and start a new sentence for the second part?
It is a story that explores love, grief, freedom, a ruined world and adventure in the telling of Elspeth Gordie’s mission to destroy the weaponmachines of the Beforetime.
A bit repetitive with two the Councils in close sentences... Maybe add the Herders to the first sentence and replace both titles in the second sentence with a descriptive term, perhaps 'the oppressive tyrants', or the like?The Misfits are finally free from the rule of the Council in the Land. But there are still many others who are ruled by the Council and Herders, and need to be freed.
Hmmm... don't think she is necessarily captured per se... More like a series of random occurrences lead her to stumble onto their plan. She only gets caught when she's in the middle of their territory, after she's pretty much found out everything. And warriors seems a bit wrong in the context, because their warriors are called Hedra. Perhaps just the Herders would suffice, as she wasn't even aware of their warriors until this book and the Herders are one of her biggest enemies because of her parents.Elspeth Gordie, powerful farseeker/coercer/beastspeaker is sent to the Lowlands and finds that not everyone enjoys the changes made by the rebellion. She is captured by one of her biggest enemies, the Herder Warriors, and learns of a plan to destroy the west coast.
Lead should be led. The second sentence might flow better if instead of a comma then and, just say 'book which is...'.But if she lives, she will be lead to one of the signs left by Kasanda, the seer. It is an exciting book, and is told in first person by the main character, Elspeth Gordie. It is a well-paced story that is interesting to read.
explores very different ideas and attacks the idea from an entirely different angle.I'd use 'them' instead of the second idea or make that idea 'ideas.
Sorry about murdering it there :P You can totally tell that I did a writing seminar this morning, can't you? ~:|The often overlooked Scatterlings is one of Isobelle Carmody’s earlier works. Set inside a post apocalyptic world, the novel looks at how the present world affects the future generations.
Merlin wakes up in an ambulance. A crashed ambulance. (Is the second sentence really necessary? If you don't want it to be too bland, perhaps take out the second sentence entirely and add a really strong descriptive word like 'a destroyed ambulance' instead?) She doesn’t know where she is or what she’s doing there. She doesn’t even really know who she is. All she really knows(Perhaps "All she knows for certain", saves the repetition of the 'really' as well as the repetition of the 'knowing' sentences) is what the voices in her head tell her – and the information they give her don’t match the world around her.
Because (Is the because really necessary? It's usually used to continue a new sentence, and the fact that you've put it at the beginning of a paragraph causes a sense of... What's its purpose?) Merlin has woken up to find the world she knows is long dead. The cities are in ruins, the trees are unnaturally large and nothing is familiar. And then there are the people: savages with yellow eyes, the ability to read minds, and an inability to lie. Merlin has yellow eyes too and she can communicate telepathically... but she can lie.
The only people who look familiar are the ones in the radiation suits. But they are looking for her and she doesn’t entirely trust them. The savages think of them as gods, but Merlin knows better. But (Not necessary, also a bit repetitive) what can (You've changes the tense, should be could they possibly want with people so patently (What do you mean by patently? Is it supposed to be patiently? If you want a good adjective for backwards, perhaps use something like "so obviously backwards"?) backwards?
The one thing Merlin wants to do is find out who she is. But to do that she has to negotiate a delicate society on the brink of rebellion, a society of people who can read minds. With the intense rebel Ford showing more interest in her than she’s comfortable with, Merlin wants to learn whether she belongs in his world, and how she has memories of things so far in the past as to be impossible. And the voices in her head can’t help her with that ...
This is quite possibly my favourite book by Isobelle Carmody. It has a lot of similarities to Obernewtyn (post-apocalyptic world, nuclear fallout, mental powers), but at the same time it explores very different ideas and attacks the idea from an entirely different angle. I like to think of this book as an insight into where the Oberchrons are possibly headed. I mainly think that because it was one of IC’s first finished stories (The first half of this sentence is a bit ambiguous, is the idea connected to the previous sentence, if so, perhaps add it add the beginning of the previous sentence. The second half of this sentence could do fine on its own, it doesn't need to be dependent on a larger sentence.), and I found it fascinating to get an idea of how IC envisaged the end of a story.
Quite ("Even" might be a better word to use in this context) apart from the Oberchron insights, I just love this story. Merlin is an intense but sympathetic character, and I just (Perhaps change either this 'just' or the one in the previous sentence. Repetition can work for you, but sometimes it's better to stay safe with a good thesaurus) love Ford. And I also (The 'and' isn't really needed, it's not so much a continuation of the previous sentence, and it structures the sentence better being just "I also") love the old Connell Lee cover. It’s a great blend of sci-fi technology, adventure, a personal quest, and an examination of what it is to have free will.
I remember buying this book, (this and the second comma make the sentence more complicated than it needs to be. The first part works fine without the first comma and the second comma can be replaced with "while". Also, since it's your concluding sentence, perhaps bring the title "Scatterlings" back in the last sentence, just to reiterate what you're talking about) in the winter school holidays, at my favourite local bookshop. Every time I read this, I think of a sunny winter morning and carrying my brand new book in a paper bag. As I said, this book is often overlooked, but it’s definitely worth a read. Be warned, (instead of a comma, maybe just use "that") this book may not still (the context seems a bit wrong to have 'still', so perhaps just add 'anymore' after 'print') be in print, so keep an eye on it (out) and jump on it when you find it.
You can totally tell that I did a writing seminar this morning, can't you?