Fantasy
I believed in fantasy once
But then you tore up my books.
I believed in adventure once
But then you ripped up my maps.
I believed in sentiment and love and loss
And I believed in caring for somebody else
But now I can't even care for myself these days
I can't even talk to myself.
I believed in emotions once upon a time
But then you took mine from me and wore then as a mask
For the world to see
And they laughed in my face
I believed you loved me
But that was not the case.
And now I wander all alone in this world
And I don't even want to talk to myself.
Can you make me believe in something unreal, something impossible?
Can you make me believe in love when it's so unendurable?
I could never make you reason with me, so you told me to leave.
And I did, forgetting I'd never see you again.
But that's life
And that's death
And you're gone
And I live in fantasy.
I'm alive
And you're dead
And now I'm alone
Wrapped up in my dreams.
And nothing I can say will wake you from your slumber
Because God doesn't care for the one's who take their own lives.
There's nothing I can do to reverse time....
I believed in fantasy once
But then you tore up my books.
I believed in adventure once
But then you ripped up my maps.
I believed in sentiment and love and loss
And I believed in caring for somebody else
But now I can't even care for myself these days
And now I'm left to talk to myself alone.
Wow, Kaylan! It's been a while since you wrote one of your song/poems.
I love the desolation. Your author says she can't even care for herself these days, but she damn well still cares for the person that left her behind like that.
Love it.
Wow, it's absolutely amazing! It's so sad, and full of sorrow, and so... well, like darga said, desolate. She's lost everything she cared about, her love, her feelings, herself!
I love this poem.
Mystic Ward
10 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Kaylan that is so sad. Hope everything is ok.
I'm fine. Just my cynical, sarcastic self :P Thanks for the compliments. I've been busy with content writing work, so haven't had time out for myself in a while. I think i just need to relax.
Repair
Wrap your arms around your knees
And listen to the sighs of trees
Forget the world outside your head
Pretend the ground is your warm bed.
Cover your eyes with your hands
And crucify your bad dreams
Feel your body begin to heal
And your skin start to peel.
Lay here for as long as you want to
Lay here for as long as you like.
Sleep for as long as you need to
It is time you repaired your life.
I like it, it's simple, it rhymes, in most places.... i like the message in it, too. I hope you have many more poems to come, cause i love reading them.
Interesting and different. Love the imagery of shedding outer layers to get at calmer and more peaceful layers underneath (my chickens are moulting - I'm afraid skin peeling is making me think of them :P).
Myself
I don't see myself
As I did
Before
Now I see myself
As a woman:
A mother, a lover, a daughter, a friend.
I don't see myself
As the fragment of reality
That I once was.
Now I see my joys, my triumphs
I see myself as I am
Infinite and whole.
I don't see the person
I once was.
Shivering in the wind.
Now I see that I am the bringer of rain
Of sunshine
Of Cold
Of Warmth
Of Love.
I see myself through your eyes
Just a woman
A mother
A lover
A friend.
I am me.
Heartening and fantastic and just generally brilliant :).
Good to read your work again, Kaylan.
Thanks :)
I didn't win a place in a horror short story competition. Time to write more horror for inspiration. Kind of creepy, but it was what sprung to mind. :/
Untitled.
I watched her walk home
One foot in front of the other foot
Her bag at her side
Sweating in the sun.
I followed in her wake
Slowly at first, and then faster
Determined to be as quiet
As the deaf.
I wanted her to know I was there
Breathing, dragging my feet along the pavement.
I wanted her to look back and stare
And see me pretend to me interested in a crack in the ground.
I make her sick
She makes me hot
I make her scared
She makes me high.
She speeds up her pace,
I pretend to be late.
Quickening my pace
Until I can recognise the brand of her bag.
I wanted her to feel scared
Jogging, running away from my heaving body.
I wanted her to feel bare
And wrap her jacket around her sweating body.
She is too hot to walk any further
And slows down
Dragging her bag behind her,
feeling defeated.
She knows that I have won,
And as she fumbles for her phone
She realises she has left it at home
In the dirty sheets of her bed.
Last night was the first and last night she had made love
And now she would never feel that way again.
She knew today
Would be her last.
I watched her run into the distance
And I chased her until she she retreated to the safety behind a fence.
I smiled.
My job is done.
Mystic Guilden
10 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
You've managed to make it feel disturbing and interesting at the same time. I like the scene you set for it too. For something like this, I always imagine cold and dark, yet you used light and heat. It comes across as very brazen.
Very creepy!
And hey, keep sending that short story of yours out to other magazines and anthologies and things. I think you'll find a home for it in time - it was gruesome enough to deserve a spot somewhere :).
Thanks :) I think I have been writing a lot of sinister things lately. And DF, I am going to keep sending it around. Just gotta find more competitions!
Yesterday
It was my birthday yesterday,
And I walked all day
Reading people's lips
And watching people laugh.
It was my birthday yesterday
And I didn't have a slice of cake
I only had two dollars
That I wasted on the bus.
I travelled for three hours
And ended up at your door.
You led me inside
And I didn't care any more.
I travelled for three hours
Across the miasma of my mind.
Then I left without saying goodbye
And forgot your name.
It was my birthday yesterday
Although I can't remember my age.
Nobody knows but me
And I don't have a phone for anyone to ring.
It was my birthday yesterday
But I don't feel much older.
Nobody loves me
And I wouldn't care if they did.
Mystic Ward
10 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Eerie and sad Kaylan. I hope it's not a real reflection of you day.
I actually had a really good day. I don't know why I write things sometimes!
10 years ago
Fri Jul 19 2013, 10:29pm
Letter to a friend
Hello my friend,
It's been a while since I last wrote
I know I said I wouldn't leave a note
But you know how things are, and that memories don't last
And that I always seem to stutter when my words come out too fast.
I promised you we'd go out on a boat
And I'd wear that yellow dress and I wouldn't smoke.
I said we'd dance till the sun went down
And I'd glue on my smile so you wouldn't see me frown.
You would buy me flowers and I'd laugh at your jokes
And you'd take me home and I'd meet your folks.
We'd read all night till we fell asleep
And I'd tell you promises that I would never keep.
But as you know, things aren't always as they seem,
And sometimes we have to wake up from our dreams.
I loved you more than anybody else
I loved you more than I loved myself.
I'm leaving now, and I'll never come home
I've left you, now you're all alone.
Goodbye.
:( Beautiful, but are you ok?
'I loved you more than anyone else' - I love that, because it's such a contradiction to the 'I'm just playing with you' attitude of the other lines. Kind of makes you look below the surface; wonder why this relationship is breaking up. There's something more serious than them just breaking up.
It is lovely. And, to echo Loren, hopefully the regret and sadness is more poetic licence? Not something you're going through in your own life? We haven't heard from you in a while, so hopefully you're just busy with uni and your baby and your article writing!
I'm fine. I'm just a weirdo who can separate myself from my poetry. I've been busy lately, so I haven't really given myself any time to write poetry. I'll try and write something happier today!
Some kind of song? I don't know :P
Any more
I don't know what you're waiting for
Don't you know your way to the door?
All of this travesty is a mess
I think I like you less and less
I don't want to love you any more
Cause I want to survive!
I want to make it to the other side
I don't want your problems, I don't recognise
Your face anymore
So walk on out that door.
I need to stay alive!
I'm not leaving till you cut your ties
I don't want your memories, I don't recognise
Your face any more
So walk on out that door!
I don't think that I know you
The way that I used to
Now that your mask is torn away
I can start a brand new day
I don't want to be in love with you
Cause I want to survive!
I want to make it to the other side
I don't want your problems, I don't recognise
Your face any more
So walk on out that door.
I need to stay alive!
I'm not leaving till you cut your ties
I don't want your memories, I don't recognise
Your face any more
So walk on out that door!
All of our memories I've locked up in my mind
All of our happiness I cannot seem to find
I'm not afraid any more
I'm not angry any more
All of your problems I can't seem to ignore
Any more
Cause I want to survive!
I want to make it to the other side
I don't want your problems, I don't recognise
Your face any more
So walk on out that door.
I need to stay alive!
I'm not leaving till you cut your ties
I don't want your memories, I don't recognise
Your face any more
Your love any more
Your heart any more
And now I know it's time
You walk on out that door!
I started singing random verses while feeding Izzy...and it became a song :) I recorded it and might share it later.
My love has gone
My love has gone to sleep forevermore
He will never see my face again
My love is gone, my love is gone, my love is gone
My love is gone.
My love has slipped out of my clutches
I will never feel his touch again.
My love is gone, my love is gone, my love is gone
My love is gone.
But I know I will see him again
And I know I will not forget his face.
And I know he will always be part of my soul
No matter how shattered it may be.
I will go on, I will go on, I will go one, I will go on
I will go on.
I'd love to hear the verse, Kaylan. And the previous poem as well - that feels like a song as well. Do you have a melody in mind for it?