Character inteview |
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Chapter 1 |
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| Kaylan: So, Ariel, it’s nice to finally be able to rope you in for an interview. Ariel: Hmph…I was busy feeding my pet. You practically kidnapped me. Kaylan: *Laughs* It’s not like you’d be opposed to kidnapping! Ariel: …… Kaylan:……Okilidokily then! I just wanted to ask you a few questions! I mean, does anyone really know the real Ariel? I’m sure everyone wants to know what drives your motivation! What ticks you off! Ariel: I love to destroy anything innocent, like kittens; I pick on people who are weaker than me. I dislike bright colours…sparkly things…birds….. Kaylan: OK! Well, that’s…..interesting. Um…I wanted to ask you about your time at Obernewtyn. What was it like for you? Did you enjoy living there? Ariel: I enjoyed tormenting the misfits. And I especially enjoyed working in Alexi’s mad – scientist laboratory. Every mad scientist has to have a lab! A dungeon of sorts to conduct their experiments. Kaylan: Like the Zebrakhen machine? The one you used to torture misfits with? Ariel: Exactly. I especially enjoyed capturing Elspeth and tying her down to the machine…that girl is… Kaylan: Do you admit to having feelings for the Farseeker Elspeth Gordie? Ariel: Absoloutely not! Her mother was a hamster and her father smelled of elderberries! Kaylan: ….. Ariel: *smirks* Kaylan: So where are you living now? Do you have a job? Ariel: I am an artist Kaylan: An artist? Ariel: Yes, an artist. I see the art out of tearing bodies limb from limb. I have come very far from my days at Obernewtyn. Kaylan: So you’re a professional torturer? Ariel: Torture is such an archaic word! I am an artist. In my travels I came across a beforetime story called ‘The Princess Bride’. In the story was a character named Count Rugen. "Beautiful, isn't it?†he says of his torture machine, “It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel.†What a remarkable man! Kaylan: Remarkable indeed. So you mentioned you have travelled? Do you live anywhere specific now? Or do you have many places of residence? Ariel: I around Hevon Bay live on Herder Isle, the lovely island off the West Coast, with my pet angora rabbit, Fluffy. Kaylan: An angora rabbit? Are you kidding? They look like a failed mating experiment between a sasquatch and a kitten! Ariel: Are you insulting my fluffy?! Kaylan: No way! I was just…surprised… Ariel: Would you prefer it if I had a star nosed mole? Or a hagfish? Kaylan: Maybe a dog….they have more…refined hairstyles. Ariel: I’m surprised you’re allowed out of the house with your hairstyle! Kaylan: What about your hairstyle, you albino weirdo! Ariel: I am a sex god. There is nothing wrong with my perfect hairstyle! Kaylan: I see we aren’t going to agree… So, I wanted to ask you about your love life. Is there anyone special you’d care to tell me about? I mentioned Elpseth Gordie earlier on…. Ariel: Is it love when you stalk people in their dreams? Because I checked the definition of stalking and I’m pretty sure there was nothing about ‘dream stalking.’ Kaylan: Stalking involves persistent intimidation to maintain contact with, or exercise power and control over another person. This can cause distress, loss of control, fear or harassment to another person and occur more than once. So technically, your obsession of Elspeth includes stalking… Ariel: Technically that only proves you are a clever librarian. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! Kaylan: You know, your language gives me the impression that you don’t have many friends. I mean, you are rude and pig-headed. Ariel: I….I have friends! We hang out discussing various new torture methods and hunt wolves together. One of them actually made me this very trendy wolf – pelt coat I’ve got on now *points to his coat* Kaylan: And you look very dapper in it. Ariel: Of course I do. I look amazing in everything I wear. I am a fashionista! Kaylan: I’m sure you are, you sexy beast. Anyway, I’ve got to wrap things up now. Thank you for inviting me here today. Ariel: May I reminded you my hands are tied? You invited yourself! Kaylan: Oh! *chuckles* *unties hands* There you go! Thanks again. I’ll see myself out. *Leaves room* Ariel: What an odd woman….Oh well, time to try out my new brainwashing machine and hot tub! |
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