15 years ago
Fri Aug 29 2008, 09:31pm
when i get bored, emotional or i get a glimpse of inspiration, i write stuff down, it usually doesnt rhyme, it usually doesnt make sense. but if it does then it usually turns out ok.
heres two of my current favourites.
sakura/cherry blossom. a short yet brilliant life.
tiny buds of hope,
trying to escape their prisons,
reaching out to the hearts
of those who see them.
eventually they escape,
a sight to behold,
but the worlds evil seeps
into them.
killing them swiftfully,
making them gracefully scatter,
on the soft spring wind.
is it true that
no matter how pretty the rose,
it will always have thorns?
is beauty and brain seperated
for some cruel irony?
no, for i have found someone
who shares both.
she is sweet yet smart,
soft yet strong,
when i see her,
my heart stops,
for if it were beating,
it would surely shatter,
with her stunning eyes,
for all to see.
Those are lovely Raku. I especially like the first one. :) There's some nice imagery there. I can't really give any criticism, because I don't know much about poems.
But i liked them. :)
those poems are lovely Raku :) the second one was very beatuiful. like availle i dont know much about poems either but i loved those :)
I really like them, Raku.
A small correction: Separated not seperated.
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Lovely poems Raku. I really like the first one as well.
15 years ago
Mon Sep 01 2008, 08:59pm
I came up with this one shortly after reading twilight... ~:| ...and i have no idea where the second one came from. i think it was after i saw romeo and juliet.
weak in the day,
and strong in the night
but yet as it may,
darkness is in full flight,
she spread her wings,
eager to soar,
searching for all that life brings,
in blood and in war.
and when the blood flows,
she nestle in tight,
"Theres a feast to be had",
from merely a single bite.
and when the feast has been had,
and the hunger has been filled,
this silent beast will be glad,
lest even though she has killed,
she leaves the corpse,
of a person once known,
in a place that warps,
yes, a place very alone.
To let go
every day that goes by,
is another day i didnt see you,
another day of my heart not beating,
for it would break from this
truly overwhelming sense of longing
i know i said i wont let go,
but that was under a condition,
which was that i had you to hold.
and now im not so sure if
im the one who should be holding you.
i think ive gotten to the stage
where i need to prove myself to you
by letting you go.
only problem is, ive held
on tightly for so long i dont know
if i could let go even if i wanted to.
so theres a decision to make,
make a clean break to help myself heal
faster. or continue living everyday knowing
you are content being with someone else.
yeah you say you love me, yeah you
say without me you dont know what to do.
but youre with someone else,
so you cant love me that much.
and how can you not know what to do without me,
when you dont even have me?
i really dont get it at all.
its either end whatever there is
and shatter my heart forever,
or continue to let it bleed
as you find a new way to
abuse it.
Welcome to writers merge
I like the cherry blossom poem and the other one there very much.
And the twilight one too!
About the only critique i have is that nestle should possibly be nestles
Mystic Guilden
15 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
Great Poems Raku. I enjoyed the first two, and thought you did a great job telling the story in the Twilight inspired poem. :)
Your poems are so emotional and lovely! I espceially love the Romeo and Juliet one =D You're very talented!!
Wow, these poems are soo amazing. Sooo emotional and moving. I love them.
True talent! xx
15 years ago
Sat Jan 03 2009, 04:32pm
heres one i wrote during english today when my teacher was busy reading "Animal Farm" by George Orwell to the class.
i dont need your friendship
i dont need your trust
while i was screaming,writhing in pain
you're yelling your happiness is a must
why on earth did you do it?
i thought by now you wouldve learnt,
not to stab me and curse me,
to watch my lovely world burned.
it really hurt you know that?
i wasnt expeciting this from you.
another friend perhaps,
but definitely not from you too.
should i give you another chance?
so you can repeat it all for fun?
maybe you wouldnt do it this time,
because the deed is already done?
if you have bothered reading this,
then hear my silent song.
love and trust bring pain and bliss,
like heavy rain, and the soft gentle sun.
ennui* we live our lives,
in love we find that hate,
hate isnt always just an angry emotion,
sometimes it feels just great.
it comes from love and anger,
from trust and from spite.
all of this becomes one,
and becomes a mindset we dislike.
* ennui means in that context in hatred, but is also the french word for boredom
*usually avoids double posting like the plague but does it anyway* |:|
this ones for a friend im hoping to see very soon.
hidden by an emotional mask,
still sure that everyone sees
what she wants us to see.
those who have seen under
that mask. that false pretence.
know what a beautiful person
is hidden in there.
i dont think that anyones
told her what shes showing us.
The mask declares to be mysterious.
The soul speaks softly of loving.
The soft face reveals loneliness.
The friends give moments of happiness.
Dont let that person hidden
inside die, she needs to be
seen alot more often.
everyones happier when shes
around, that fragile,
but great person whose
acquitance i shall soon make.
and this ones for another friend im hoping to see at the same time as the person the first poem was dedicated to.
not stuck in the past.
unlike everyone else.
she found the strength
to move forwards.
away from that which hurts.
the stupid thing is,
pain hurts, its a part of life.
one we shouldnt have to endure.
still a bit of a riddle,
still a part of you i cant read.
gotta love idiosynchrosies.
ill meet you someday,
and i hope you dont get
the impression that others get.
im not what people think
im cracked up to be.
Those are very lovley poems...i really liked the one in purple at the top :P you are really good at poetry :)
awww you rae sooooooo sweet hun xx
Omg, they are all so good! I wish I could write like that! They are beautiful, descriptive (though not overly), and everything everyone has already said! You are so good!
heres one i wrote that rhymes! *is proud of such an achievement* its almost a sonnet....oh well..i might revise it later.. |:| ...much later
youre always so close to me,
a true part of my life,
but why cant you see,
youre acting like a knife.
youre always so near,
yet also just as far,
im trying to be clear,
is your aim to leave a scar?
your hands are so warm,
your shoulder moreso cold,
im heading straight into a storm,
but with no hand to hold.
you act like its alright,
but we all know its not,
are you looking for a fight,
after all you know my weak spot.
i just hope soon this all to end,
so i can sit back,and we can both mend.
another poem written late at night after watching movies.
I never knew you before,
Im not sure if i know you now.
Im waiting patiently to meet you,
still thinking of how to greet you.
confused to the brink of madness,
almost reduced to pure sadness.
i still dont know if i love you,
i think you are scared too.
if you reject me ill be in pain,
if not i might just stay sane.
you never know you might just like me back.
youll never know if im right for you
of you never even try,
and if not atleast then you can
actually answer why.
i wouldnt want to wait for you to see me,
or missing out could be a regret for thee,
after all its not just your loss,
it would most likely also
be mine.
our souls could be forever entwined,
or stuck on the wrong side,
of an ever fading line.
I actually have a decent idea for a story *woo*
this is chapter 1 which is kind of a prologue, and the rest of the story will pretty much be told as everything leading up to this point.
"Do it, kill me", the old man said,
his blood stained beard glinting
in the beams of moonlight entering
the window of the hidden royal chamber.
i held my sword firmly at the base of his
neck, being careful to only draw the
slightest amount of blood.
"After all i did for you, grant me
this one last request, do this yourself,
there is no other man i would allow
to kill me", he whispered, trying not
to lean into the razor sharp blade at
his throat.
I stared into the old mans firm,
but penetrating stare.
"yes he betrayed me, but maybe im
overreacting" i quickly thought to myself,
"maybe this is just all a big mistake".
"i only did what i had to do to protect
you" the hoarse voice whimpered.
i gave one last look a the mans features,
remembering his soft endearing face,
his piercing green eyes, his coarse
grey hair.
"remember boy, no hesitation!",
i gave him one last look,
"if nothing else, this is for you claire,
my love", and i swung my blade true,
cleaning severing the neck of the man
i had only ever known as my father.
One reason I go to Writersmerge, is to see how much my work sucks and you've fuflfilled my reason :P
you've caught my interest! it will be interesting to see where this goes!! good work raku!
Mystic Guilden
15 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
I havent read your last two posts (I can only read so much at a time before my mind freaks :P ;) )
But I really love your poems. I especailly love the one you posted in Red. There is a very real journey in that poem. Through all the anger and hurt there is a little voice that wonders if you should forgive and forget, because both Anger and Pain come from and become Happiness and Love. But sometimes the negative emotions feel so much bigger. (If that makes sense :-/ )
Great piece Raku! :)
wow Raku! your story sounds awesome so far, i'm really looking forward to reading the rest :nod:
chapter 2 is now up :P
yeah the chapters are kinda short, but oh well.
and the numbers denote chapter, and what page on my notepad its on, it makes it easier for me to archive :P
2-1
my mind drifted back over the
years, eventually to as far back
as i could remember, to when i
first met him. I was around 5
years old, all i remember was
being cold, hungry, and so very alone,
i could not remember my parents faces,
only what they last said to me.
As i was shivering in the newest gust
of winter wind a well dressed middle
aged man approached me.
"what are you doing there young lad?
you'll catch a cold if you stay out
here much longer", the man spoke in
a gentle but firm voice.
"my mum and dad said to wait here for
them to come back",i managed to get out
inbetween shivers.
2-2
"this place is deserted, it looks as if
noone has been here for days but you,
are you sure your parents didnt forget
to come for you?", he joked.
"they said they would come back after the
fire was put out", i spoke quietly.
"your parents were in a fire?" he said,
in a much more serious tone.
"boy, your parents are dead, the fire near
here was over a week ago, two people died,
im guessing that was your parents, there
was no report of a child being left behind
though". he leant down to give me a
quick hug as i started to cry over the
realistaion i would never see my parents
again.
2-3
"so what am i going to do with you?".
i remained silent.
"why dont i take you with me?, can you
lift a sword boy?"
i shook my head.
"well i guess you'll learn soon enough eh?"
he gave me a quick wink as he grabbed my hand,
leading me away from the spot i had remained
for days.
"so what shall i call you, i cant call
you boy forever now can i?"
"g-g-glasgoch leaud sir"
"glas it is then, you can call me
glen",
and i walked off with glen into the night,
oblivious to the future that awaited me.
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Your poetry is very well done and your story is coming along nicely. Just a note in case no one has told you but you may double, triple and quadruple post in your own writersmerge thread. Go for it and don't think you have to wait for a reply before you post your next piece of work. And very good work it is.
