15 years ago
Tue Apr 14 2009, 09:19pm
Umm. hi!
i thought i might as well put some of my stories on here.
i would love it if you would read it and posted comments.
This is a short impromptu speech i had to do in english. it had to have 'She couldn't see where see was going'in it somewhere. (about 30secs to 1min)
The cave was luring her closer. Almost as if it was calling her, wanting her.She set off in it's direction. Walking through the dark pines, wind whistling through, needles cruching under her feet. Each step was large but it seemed t o take an eternity to get any where near the cave. As she neared the mouth of the cave she could smell the mustiness and the earthy scent. But there was something else, but she could not tell what.
Without thinking she stepping into the cave. It was pitch balck. She couldn't see where she was going. Stumbling down the cave she continued, knocking on stones and pebbles. Catching her toe on an overly large rock she tripped falling down a gaping fissure. Opening her mouth in a silent scream she dissappeared from sunlight forever.
To any one watching it would have looked at as the cave was smirking.
there! only something small but i need to go. i'll post my other story later :)
cheers!
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
not bad. needs a little editing.
yeah, it does but i only had i minute to prepare it, which was spent talking to my friends. I made it up on the spot.
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This is another english thing i had to do, we read a story which was letters to a person from someone else. We had to do a story like that.
again it doesn't have a name.
2/5/1808
Dear Count Dracula,
No, the BLoodfest is the week after next . Not next week. Don't forget your garlic repellent. There's an awful lot of it this year. Maybe there was a few surviors from the lakeside village? Anyway you'll need plenty repellent. Us werewovles are lucky, noone suspects us.
Yours Sincerely,
Wilfred W. Wolf
8/5/1808
Dear Count Dracula,
I thought that i should imform you that the villagers have began to chop down an awfully big amount of trees. Maybe there are making more wooden stakes? A lot of garlic is being used in cooking. i hope thats not a problem. Any how I shall send out some wovles.
Yours Sincerely,
Wilfred W. Wolf
10/5/1808
Dear Count Dracula,
I am glad to hear you approve of my careful watching and observing. Thankfully the trees were for building new houses. Still there is a high amount of garlic around.
Yours Sincerely,
Wilfred W. Wolf
P.S. You'll need a new message bat. I got hungry and had a small snack.
12/5/1808
Dear Count Dracula,
I understand that entirely, but it is not my job. I watch, I plan, I observe. Write too Haroald the Headless Horseman. He oversees that department. Well not sees. By the way could you not still blood on your letters its makes them most hard to read.
Yours Sincerely,
Wilfred W. Wolf
15/5/1808
Dear Count Dracula,
I know this is very short notice, but the villagers have made angry mobs. Garlic, wooden stakes, silver and evilness knows what else. Don't bother coing to the Bloodfest this year - there isn't one.
Yours Sincerely,
Wilfred W. Wolf
P.S. By the time this gets to you it will be to late to leave. Have fun and leave some villagers for my boys.
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just something small, nothign terrible good. hope you like it.
Dreamweavers' Guilden
15 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
ha ha I like that Shad!!! got anything else?
Dreamweavers' Guildmistress
15 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guildmistress
Dreamscape Artist
I enjoyed the speech, and I reckon you could keep writing a story based around that, and the Count Dracula letters were funny. :)
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
funny is good. I liked it too.
15 years ago
Fri Apr 17 2009, 12:08pm
i was thinking about continuing with the speech, i get distrated easily and i have many stories on the go. i think i will do more on it though.
the Count Dracula letters where fun to do. One of my friends did a better one than mine about an assassin it was really clever and funny. if i can get a copy of it i'll post it. (not as my own work of course!!)
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This is something i came up with the other day. i don't plan to do any more work on this.
I started. It was a house. A mansion. It was gorgeous, gothic architecture. I loved it as soon as i saw it. It was on our land, where we to build our new house. The huge double doors opened. A tall, balding man walked out. He was wearing a suit with a crisp collar. His grey eyes twinkled like they where the youngest part of him.
'Madam Savannah, come in!' He crooned like an old mother hen. How did he know my name? AS he turned to go up the stairs i heard my name being called out, Derek. i hurried up the stairs. Inside was glorious. Beautiful hangings, of dargons, saints, fairies, elves and mermaids. It was denfinately a medieval theme. Even the maids and manservents look out of a medieval tale.
'It's amazing.' I murmured, still struck aweless. I wander aimlessly, down the corridoors, noticing how each tapestry was different. I smell cooking. Roast chicken and scones or some pastry. i followed the smell through a maza of walk ways to a huge under ground kitchen.
A few kitchen hands smiled at me and one even winked. A round bustling lady, waddled over to me. 'Lady Savannah!' She trilled like a bird, 'would you like to taste the chicken?' i looked at the platter she was holding, it looked to bi to be a chicken. Thoguh it smelled good and looked even better. I nodd dumbly, i waspushed towards a large circular table. I laugh, my brothers could be the knights of the round table!
The roly lady comes over to me and hands me a large, obviously hand painted platte, witha huge amount of breast meat. surely the bird was to big to be a chicken! Never mind.
'Madam Savannah, Madam Savannah? Oh were are you?' calls a voice. A clucky hen vocie. The roly lady walks to the door, 'Oh, Jean!' she swaked, 'She's in the kitchen.' Jean walks in the kitchen, his bald crown refelcting light from the stove. 'Ah thank you Bea, Savannah, your parents wish to see you.' Again, i nodd dunbly. 'Well come on then.' i get pushed rough from the kitchen.
My parents' room seeemed to be at the top of the house. i didn't mind, i could look at more tapestries. Jean had to keep poking me to keep me walking. it turns out that we were going to meet my parents in my fathers study. i gape at it. it is large abd spacious, with so many books. 'Savannah dear,' my mother said. I looked at her, she was wearing a lime green top with matching earings. Her coat and pants were black. Her brown locks were cascading down her head. Hair sraying into place. The funniest thing was, i couldn' see her lovely freckles. All covered up by make up. 'Your father and i have decided that we are going to raise your fortnightly money is noe $60. Instead of $50.' i gape, again. i never get any money higher than $12. I looked at my father, it was his kind of joke.
His titan hair was shorter than i remembered and he looked very smart in his suit. 'Yes, i know, dear.' he began, 'it's very generous, but you deserve it. Now run along and do , your ... stuff.'
i walked out of the room, noting tht that Jean hadn't been there, when i was. i heard a soft grunt and a squeal and started to head to towards it before it hit me. Maybe i shouldn't find them. Though, despite my tought i walked in the direction, regardless of the consequences.
i found Jean holding my sister by her hair. 'Leave her alone' i tell him crossly, before relaising that Rosie's eyes where glassy. Jean droppped her. Rosie was dead.i was to horrified to scream. Jean looks at me and snarls, 'and she's only the first!' Everything became hazy.
i awoke to Derek shaking me. Murmuring 'Savannah, Savannah.'
'Derek? What happened?'
'You fainte, You've been here awhile. Your Parents are coming.' i sat up quickly, my world hazing. I can see Jean, Bea, the kicthen hand, Mom, father and glassy eyed Rosie. Derek shook me again. 'Careful!'
AS if on cue my parents rocked up. They honked the hoen.
'Savannah, baby!' yelled the dad i knew, 'Guess What?'
'What?' i yelled back, running to them.
'Were rich!'
'What!'
'Rich! We're having a mansion!'
'A medieval mansion?'
'Yes! With butlers, maids and cooks!' my heart my racing, but that wasn't because i was running.
'We have the main butler already!'
'Yeah?'
'Yeah!' my father rolled down the bacj windoe. 'Here he is!' I stopped dead.
'Hello, Madam Savannah.' said a voice, a voice I knew. A clucky hen voice. I was staring at a tall, balding man. Wearing a suit with a crisp collar. There was definately a twinkle in his grey eyes.
I screamed.
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not excatly a happy ending, but happy endings are over rated.......sometimes.
Edit: i had to change the paragrah about Rosie and Jean becauseo f the PG rating. no blood
hope you like tha change
Dreamweavers' Guilden
15 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
thats good Shad. I made the mistake of reading the end first ~:| Opps Oh well I still liked it keep writing Shad!
yeah, if you couldn't guess its kind of a ghost story, but you can't really tell.
i have a happier story at the mo. but its taking longer than i expected.
i have to go now.
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thanks to everyone to has written back to me :)
15 years ago
Thu Apr 16 2009, 10:14pm
That's really clever shad! :D It's a great idea - really intriguing. Just watch your tenses.
I hope you don't mind me giving some corrections. I really enjoyed reading it, I'm just picky about grammar. :P |;) In that story you tend to switch between the past tense and the present tense, and it can be a little confusing. I think the past tense works best, so you might want to edit it if you have the time. :) Or you could just move on to something new if you don't feel like revisiting an old story, that's ok too. :) Also, watch your use of commas - try not to have them breaking the middle of a sentence unless you are introducing a new idea.
And just a general note about 'to and too'. I've noticed that a lot of people around the site tend to get these two mixed up. 'Too' is talking about quantity. For example if you have 'too' much of something. (I remember it because it has 2 o's, and so there are 'too' many o's. Alright, I'm lame. I admit it. :P ). 'To' is used for everything else.
Anywayz, I hope that didn't sound condescending or prudish. :P I'm just in a correcting mood. I loved your story and thought it was really clever. :) Can't wait for more.
15 years ago
Fri Apr 17 2009, 10:02pm
my tenses kept chaning because i already had it in past tense and then i changed it to present. when i ws typeing it i typed past then noticed what i was doing. i when back to redo some but got bored and just finished it.
yeah, i'm not so good with spelling and grammar. i should check everything before hand but i hate going back and perfecting everythin on the computer. it annoys me.
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this is a continuation of the speech i did. i haven't got a name for it yet and i love susgestions :)
Part 1 (the speech was the prolouge)
She awoke to the sound of chains, and a headache.
'Ssshe'ss awake,' a slimy voice hissed. She was yanked up, off the ground. Her eyes flickered open. it was still pitch black.
'Wha?' She moaned softly, a tongue slid over her face, making her shudder in disgust. The thing laughed.
'Ssso, Zard. How do you like our newesst sslave?'
'Does sshe have any jewelss?' asked a different thing. Another tongue slid over body, making her feel small and slightly intruged. What are theses things?
'A ring,' began the first thing 'two necklacess and a wallet.'
'Nice,' hissed another thing, how many where there?
'Letss take her to the holdsss'
Cold iron was clamped around her wrists. She was dropped onto the floor. A scaly foot kicked her, the owner snapped 'Get moving human!'
She felt herself being pulled along by a unbelieveable strenght. Why, oh why did i go into that cave? she asked herself, What had drawn me closer?
She continued down what she though a passage way. Stumbling, tripping and being yanked along. She thought she heard another human voice, but if there was one it was drowned out by harsh hissing.
Never had she felt so alone. She wanted to cry out and get comfort. Not in this dark cold place. Where all she could hear, other than an ocasional hissing, was water dripping. Not a nice warm slosh, but cold alone, dark drips. Drip, Drip , drip , drippty drip.Went the water.
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So that was part one, hope you like it :)
Just to let you know i have changed a paragragh in Savannah's story thing. it is now PG rated :)
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Thanks Shadowchild. It's really appreciated.
Dreamweavers' Guilden
15 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
I love who it's looking Shad! keep up the good work!
Part two is nearly done, i just have a little bit more to do. :)
Deb, its fine really, nothing too hard :) i thinks it actually makes my story better...? :roll:
sorry i was typing so fast, i'll edit it now :)
15 years ago
Fri Apr 24 2009, 01:58pm
heres some more of my story, the one that starts with the speech.
i have called it.....
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Saint George's Little brother
Part Two:
After wandering endlessly, for what seemed hours. The things stopped. Was this the holds, which the things spoke of? A few hisses where exchanged with, yet again, more things.
The original things moved on. She was yanked on. A groan alerted her to another human presence, which she had believed before. The dripping of water never stopped.
The cold began to seep into her, freezing her. Her wrists being the coldest, where the iron was. Her ears the second coldest, seeing as her hair was up in a ponytail. Her teeth chattered, earning her a forceful push. Whatever these creatures where, they certainly weren’t friendly. She let a tear trickle down her cheek, as she trudged on.
Up ahead, although she didn’t know, was soft light.
It was blinding, the light. Even though it was soft and meant for tunnel use. Her eyes were screaming with pain. What was surprising was that it didn’t take long for eyes to adjust. She was standing in a small, round cave. A man was standing in front of her. He looked about twenty-three. Scruffy reddish brown hair. His clothes where torn and there was many grazes and cuts.
She looked at herself, she was grazed as well. Not as bad as him, but still. How can I not feel these? She thought, the answer hit her. The cold.
A thing laughed. I can now see what the things look like! Her eyes scanned over the creatures. She gasped. They were all scaled, some claws instead of fingers, others with wings. Some looked more human, others more reptilian.
The man in front of her turned, hearing her gasp. His unblinking different coloured eyes stared at her. One jade green, the other soft blue.
‘Hybrids.’ He muttered. Earning him a cuff across the head. He shot a quick smile and turned his head back to the front.
They both where tied up to the wall. She would have spoken to the man, if it wasn’t for the guard they had. The guard was interesting. The only clothing he was wearing was a loincloth. His body was covered in scales. The scales where all different shades of blue and green. His face was like a snake’s, angular with sharp eyes. Complete with the forked tongue.
Two small wings protruded from his back. Dainty, not quite fitting in with the malice that seemed to pour off him.
His fingers and toes where not scaled. They were pink skin. It didn’t look like it agonised him, but she wondered if it was a brave face put on.
She shivered, not out of cold but of fear. These creatures, or hybrids as the man had called them, where scaring her. They had a malice air about them; every time one of them looked at her she could see the disgust in their face. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone looked at her with disgust. They couldn’t have found a better way to hurt her.
The man reached over and placed a hand on her. She looked at him, he smiled. She smiled back.
Part Three:
A thing walked in, it looked of higher ranking. That was proven when all the other things jumped up.
‘What are you doing?’ it bellowed
‘Nothing, Captain Ssscal, Sssir!’ they all replied
‘Exactly! You lazy reptilesss! Take them to the holdsss! Now!’ Captain Scal shouted. It seemed that the only volume that thing had was loud. She stifled a giggle. Captain Scal glared at her. She froze.
‘Umm... Captain Ssscal, Sssir?’ asked the one she thought was Zard.
‘Yessss, Zard?’ Scal said in a dangerous voice. She had been right, it was Zard
‘We need to take him, to the big bossss.’ Murmured Zard, pointing to the man sitting beside her. Captain Scal shrugged something that looked awkward on his reptilian shoulders. ‘Do what you mussst. Now!’ The other things, including Zard, scuttled into action. The things decided that she could go with them to see the big boss who ever that was.
With a sense of déjà vu, they walked down some more tunnels. This time with lights, the same lights in the round cave. She hadn’t noticed that before, she had been staring at the things with disgusted fascination. The lights where round balls that bounced down the passage way. Some were yellow, others red or blue and all the colours in between.
A rather small, purple light bumped into her. She put her hands up to catch it, it was soft and squishy. Her hands fitted about the glowing globe. Her fingers shone, purple.
A small voice inside her head squeaked, Could you let me go? She gasped, not for the first time, nor the last. Me, I’m down here in your fingers. I’d wave, but I don’t have any hands. It said sarcastically.
She looked at the purple globe in her fingers, it had opened its big, liquidly eyes. Black eyes. She let it go. Thank you, Tanika Jordan. She started, how did it know her name?
How do you know my name? She thought at it.
I am a Part of you Tanika, I know everything about you. It answered.
Do you have a name? Tanika asked, curious to see what else this blob knew.
No, I am a Part of you. Parts do not have names.
Yes they do. Like liver or lung or heart. She retorted. A tinkling bell sound, trilled in her head.
I am not a Part like that. So the bell tinkling had been a laugh.
I shall name you then!
Okay, have fun Tanika. It laughed again. Gosh, this “part†was sarcastic, Tanika thought.
How about Lavender? The answer was the tinkling bell. Obviously a no.
Are you male or female?
Neither.
What about Sleu? She wondered, something different.
Sleu? Where did you get that? It asked.
Oh, a book. Tanika answered vaguely. She wasn’t giving her secrets away, event to a part of her.
I like it, Sleu. It’s neither feminine nor masculine. It’s different, not like the other Parts.
That’s decided. Let’s mentally shake on it. She teased, the bell noise sounded again.
Decided, thank you again Nika. Sleu answered, polite as always. Nika shook her head, the outlooks where bad but she was having fun, strangely.
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so there you have parts two and three :)
Ha ha, that's really good shadowchild! The characters are intriguing... I'm curious about where the story's going, it look like it's going to be really interesting. :)
Great job.
15 years ago
Fri Apr 24 2009, 01:57pm
thanks, im glad you like it. i like to make my stories a mystery, introducing interesting angles in, almost at random.
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Saint George's Little Brother
Part Four:
Nika and Sleu where still talking when they stopped suddenly. Tanika walked straight into the man. He swung around and caught her, giving her a smile in the process. Again she was amazed by his eyes. ‘Be careful there.’ He murmured. ‘Try not to fall over; you’ll give them a reason to be harsh.’
She smiled, ‘I’ll remember that.’ He smiled back, slightly captivated. Embarrassed Nika slipped one of her black locks behind her ear. Feeling thankful that she had put her hair back that morning.
That morning!? It had felt like days to her, or maybe it was days. Although she didn’t feel tied, no, not at all. So it must only have been this morning that she was warm, in her room.
Yes, this morning you where brushing your black hair in your mirror. Sleu said in her head.
Wow! She thought back. How long have you been watching me? Sleu laughed, bells tinkling.
I have always been with you. I am a Part of you. Everyone has a Part, not everyone gets to meet his or hers. When we get exposed to these creatures and these tunnels we become visible. Sleu explained.
Will I be able to see you when I get away? Nika asked.
Yes, but nobody ever escapes here. Sleu said sadly, you are doomed Nika. It was my turn to laugh, silently. I will. I vowed.
He is still watching you, Nika. Sleu said slightly rudely, Even though it has only been a few seconds. Sleu sounded slightly irritated. She turned back to the man, ‘I’d turn around if I were you.’ She began cheekily ‘Don’t want to get them angry!’ He laughed and did as he was told.
They were in an enormous cavern, immense, colossal, leviathan, stupendous and monumental all in one. Tanika couldn’t see the ceiling, only little sparkling lights, which seemed faint. They must have been on the ceiling it’s self. Glow-worms. Nika could hardly see the sides, let alone the back. It was cluttered with treasure. There were gold, precious and semi-precious stones, weapons, and trinkets. Other less sparkly treasures, such as tapestries, books, scrolls and much more. Nika gasped, it was amazing.
The most amazing, beautiful, glorious thing in the room was a dragon. Not a statue, a real live dragon. Breathing, smoking, living, fire breathing dragon. It was sleeping, it’s gorgeous eyes closed. Smoke cascading out of her nostrils. Tanika knew it was female; it was just one of those things that you just knew.
The dragon’s closed eyelids have luscious eyelashes. Her snout was thin and feminie. Scales a soft, pale pink. Her wings were delicate and held gently by her back. The skin in between looked frail and as easily broken as old parchment. Her tail was resting by her nose, the end in a slight arrow shape, as delicate as the rest of her. Wow! Thought Tanika. She can’t be real!
She is. Retorted Sleu,
Doesn’t seem to be
Well she is.
Their conversation was interrupted by a cough.
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i have been a busy gril :) he he he
i'm coming up to an important part soon :roll: !!!
hope it is still intriguing X=P
(L) shadowchild
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Keep an eye on your spelling, first line where should be were. Last paragraph feminie should be feminine. they are the most obvious mistakes. Cheers
wow. your a good writer. i just read everything on here and i think we should re-name you the queen of monsters! i've never been very good with monsters. most of my characters enemies seem to be unknown, though i love mythical creatures.
i really look forward to the rest...!
15 years ago
Fri Apr 24 2009, 01:50pm
deb - thanks for that, i often get where and were mixed up! :) i like your sig too :roll:
kendra - the queen of monsters i like that....he he he :) Shadowchild the queen of monsters i'll think i'll add that to my name :)
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speaking of monsters i have written something today that has a 'monster' in
i got my insperation from the saga of darren shan, evra von and the rule of the claw, boy Baz
The snake boy
My younger brother looks deathly pale. His breathing is shallow. I never knew a snake bite could bring this on. How could a snake bite leave someone so sick? I gently lean forward and wipe away the sweat that collects on his brow.
‘Sophie,’ my mother calls from the kitchen, ‘Come down now. Eat something. You have been there for three days.’
‘Sophie! Come down now!’ My father demands, ‘Leave your brother alone! How can he get better when you grovel all over him?’ I drop the cloth in the bowl by my brother’s bed. I slowly walk down the stairs.
I want to scream at them, tell them that little Benjy was never going to get better. The doctors had not known the type of snake it was. We even had a specimen of the snake, but nobody knew of it. Nobody, how where we to treat him if there isn’t an antidote?
My mother and father look tied. They smile at me, why? It was my fault, my fault Benjy is dying.
‘Sophie, dear, how about some bacon and eggs?’ my father asks. We never have bacon and eggs; they must know how serious this is and are not telling me, but i already know. I nod slowly, wishing Benjy could share with us. Father smiles, ‘Help me then.’ I walk to the kitchen door, I take out to aprons and give one to father.
The food smells delicious, something to lift one’s spirit, but not Benjy’s. Benjy is dying. I could not enjoy something when my brother is dying. I don't eat much food; I leave most of it on my plate.
‘Sophie, why do you not eat?’ my mother prattles. Why did they keep calling me Sophie? They always call me Soph or Phie.
‘I’m not hungry.’ I answer, my father looks at me with concerned.
‘Stop worrying about Benjy, he’ll be fine.’ My father tells me. I look at him strangely.
‘No, it’s not okay. It’s my fault. It’s my fault Benjy is dying!’ I whimper
‘DON’T SAY THAT!’ my mother screams, ‘BENJY IS FINE, HE’LL BE FINE!! DON’T SAY SUCH THINGS, YOU’LL JINX US!!’ She starts to cry. I run upstairs, crying myself.
‘Sophie.’ My father says, banging on my door, ‘come out. Riley wants to see you.’ I sniff, my head aches from not sleeping. There are tear tracks down my cheeks.
‘Soph, can I talk to you?’ Riley murmurs. I open the door.
Riley wants me to go on holiday with her, but what about Benjy? Father tells me I have no choice in the matter. Riley is doing this for me. I have to go, I have to leave Benjy.
Today is the day I am leaving for Queensland. For the Gold Coast, Benjy would love to come too. I just know he would. It doesn’t seem right, for me to go and him not to. Benjy always wanted to go to the worlds, now I am and he isn’t.
Benjy is still sweating, his temperature is high. I turn the fan on and the aircon. I walk towards him, dreading the fact that he is dead, wondering if a dead person could sweat. Slowly his chest rises and falls. He is okay.
‘I promise to bring you something from each place I go.’ I vow, running a finger across his head.
‘Come on Soph!’ yells Riley, ‘time to go!’ I stare at my brother.
‘I love you Benjy, remember that. I’ll always love my little brother. I’ll never forget you; you’ll always be in my heart.’ I promise. I lean down and kiss his forehead. ‘Good bye, Benjy.’
‘Soph! Our plane will leave without us.’ Riley says impatiently.
I was away three weeks. Long enough for Benjy to die. When I arrive home, my mother is sleeping. My father sits at the kitchen, reading the morning’s paper.
‘Benjy?’ I ask, a pleading note sounding in my voice.
‘We moved him down to the cellar, it’s cooler down there.’ I drop my suitcase. Hugging my bag of stuff for Benjy I run down the stairs into the cellar.
The light is off. I turn the light on. A tiny globe spills a tiny amount of light on the cellar and Benjy’s bed. I run over, I dump the bag on his bed. Benjy’s not there.
I stare disbelieving at the empty bed. Something slithers behind me. I cry, how could my father be so mean to me? How could he lie about something this serious?
The slithering doesn’t stop. I grow worried, could it be one of those snakes that bit Benjy? I want to get out of here, but there is darkness between me and the door. I know snakes only attack if they are threatened, this snake seems different. My eyes spin around, trying to spot the snake.
It was quiet easy to spot, once it came into the weak light.
Its green scales buckled and jolted when it moved. At its stomach the scales where stretched, showing the skin in between. This thing wasn’t a snake, it was a snake boy.
It had hands and feet, all scaled in the same sickly green as its stomach, but no fingernails or toenails. Its body slithered, looking quiet at home on the ground, its legs and arms moved awkwardly. Jutting out at strange angles. Its neck flowed onto its angular head. Its mouth opened sharp, pointed teeth. Its gums oozed an evil looking liquid, a poisonous substance. Its forked tongue flickered out at me, as if trying to taste me. It’s eyes where blue, human’s eyes. They were Benjy’s eyes. This was Benjy.
‘Benjy?’ I ask, confused. He seemed to remember me too. He raised his head up into the air, trying to look bigger. I crouch down, trying not to scare him. He slithers closer. Benjy’s tongue traces me, crossing my face. I don’t flinch, I smile.
Benjy opens his mouth again, as if to strike. I close my eyes. Not dreading anything, my parents down seem to love me anymore. Benjy was their pride and joy.
I feel his head rub up against my leg, like a cat. His big blue eyes stare up at me with love and adoration. I reach down and pat my little brother. A smile plays at the edge of his lips. Something I thought a snake couldn’t do.
‘Do you want to see what I bought you?’ I ask, not expecting him to answer. He nods. I stand up and sit on his bed, Benjy slips onto my lap. I kiss his forehead. He smiles again. I hadn’t realised how small he had become. He is still big for a snake, but small for a human. I pull out the knick knacks and toys I bought.
Benjy hisses a hiss of happiness.
Benjy falls asleep. I pick him up. Something like a purr emits from him. Gently I place him under the covers on his bed. It’s too cold down here for a snake, I note, we must move him back into his old room. Gently I turn the light off and walk up the stairs. How am I to tell our parents?
[ligne][/ligne]
:) how you like it !!!!
(i only wrote this today so if there is lots of editing to do i'll do it, just tell me)
(L) shadowchild
Mystic Ward
15 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Hey Shad, that was certainly different. There is a bit of editing to do but if you have a read yourself you might pick up what it is. Always good practise to go back and try to fix any mistakes. Nice work.
wow. that is such a fantastic story!! obviously it was late and it does need editing, but i think thats cos u were trying to get it out. i know what thats like. i do that alllllllll the time!! lol, its a great story, i wanna know what happens next!!
*the queen of monsters strikes again.* maybe thats a lame joke, but i kind of like it. its like you could draw a little creature somwhere on all ur stories...like the scarlet pimpernel. lol, i loved that series. anyway, im tired so im probably talking nonsence. the point is, i like the story, keep writing!