heya
i thought that seeing as im always writing poems and short stories i might as well share some of them rather then keeping then all locked up in my note book [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> i dont have to warn ppl tho some of my stuff is a bit sad.
Hug
Their warm, their clean and never mean.
They come from th heart, where love cant be seen.
They show me you care and you'll always be there.
A hug is what keeps me happy and fair.
Hugs are admissions of how we feel, their honest and caring and sometimes daring.
Hugs are what help is keep our bearing.
They give us our strength and keep us from wearing.
blood lines
All is still not a thing in sight, sounds hang as glass in a cold open night.
My soul is stirring with longing and pain.
My thought run free from a slashed open vein.
My mind takes flight as i see the light.
And the last of my blood drips, into the night.
I have a short story im finishing ill put it up later
enjoy
ooo...
I like the hug one, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy..
and the blood lines one is kinda creepy. Is that what you were going for?
not bad, courts! [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> I can see you've put a lot of thought into your poems [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
thank you, iv always liked making words rhyme.
blood lines is a sad and depressive poem that i did for the most part to make one of my old teacher squirm after she told me i had no creativity. [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/grin.gif" alt=";D" border="0"/>
Heh.
Betcha showed her....
OK here we go here is a short story for you all and another poem.
Id really like to hear what ppl have to say about the story because i have had mixed comments from my friends about it.
ill write them Poem first then story k. [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/wink.gif" alt=";)" border="0"/>
My space
In my corner, my sanctuary my space.
I hide in fear of showing my face.
Blood reds and blues and purples I see these are the colours surrounding me.
He’s calm in the day when all will see, the perfect man I thought for me.
My face in the mirror so pasty and white, but for the scars of our last fight
I cover my burses and look in despair.
Ill brush my hair and pretend I don’t care
In that corner, my safety, my space.
I’ll hide and hope to leave this place.
White walls
The sun was warm on his dusty old clothes. A light breeze ran through the trees, making the leaves sing and dance.
Their gold and green tones creating a culdoscope of pattern and colour against the blue sky beyond.
His eyes grew heavy and slowly he slept.
It called to him, its shrilling cry waking him as it swooped from the heavens, collecting him in its mighty claws.
Fear prickled down his spin as it went hight and hight, taking him over the white walls of his prison.
Far below people dotted the grass like ants and the worlds many colours swam like water in his eyes.
A damp misty cloud pressed in around him soaking his clothes and hiding the world.
Fear subsided to joy within the safety of its close confines.
Drops of water rolled along his face like tears, as the clouds mists melted around him to reveal misty mountain tops.
He was flying, soaring “freedom†the word echoed in his mind. Freedom.
Sue watched as her charge ran round in circles. His arms outstretched as if he were a plain soaring through the clouds.
She smiles with a slight twinge of jealousy. To be so free of responsibility and the burden of life, might truly be a blessing.
As soon as the thought had come it was gone and once again all she could see was a 40 year old man, with the mind of a child.
the poem is really good! i really like the way u managed to get inside the person in the poem's head [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
as for the story, the grammar's a bit dodgy in some parts but the imagery is really good [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> Altho, im having a lil trouble understanding wat it means like the last paragraph confused me
yeah my spelling and grammar have always been really bad probly due to the fact that i didnt learn to read properly until i was about 15.
The story is of an old man with a mental disability the story shows the world through his eye and the last paragraph is basically saying that what he can see is not real.
Sue is supposed to be a nurse at the hospital he is living in its just to help define the reality in the story from the fantasy of the old mans dream.
In some ways it think the sroty is abit unfinished
oh now u explain it i totally get it [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> mabe instead of "charge" u cud say "patient" if u wanted it to be more obvious he's mentally disabled
hmmm that might be an idea
might help if i gave it a bit more of a story line to :S
thax for the idea
no problemo [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
Great Courts! It has been very intense for the mind, in a good way, with the use of colours and discriptive words that form such strong imagery. I like what you've done with the sort of challenging percpective on things, kinda thing and really drawing the reader into the persona's view.
thank you [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
I think im very much an arty type person i love to draw with pencil and paper and i also love to draw pictures with words.
I probly need to work on grammar a bit but yeah
Thanx
Just thought id put up the newest of my work [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
i got bored and satrted writing again
Cocoon
Deep inside my mind I lay.
waiting, wishing, I dare not pray.
Darkness fills this space I?m in,
Pressing hard against my skin.
I lay and wonder shall this scar,
taunting remarks from afar.
It hurts so bad and makes me sad.
I think I?ll go truly mad.
The it comes from above,
A helping hand so full of love.
She holds me tight all through the night.
Depression gone, now I fight.
I know I?m doing really well.
I know how far, I must have fell.
ENOUGH ENOUGH!! I surrender my skills *bows*
Not in particular. I'm a relatively happy person but most of my poems are sad-ish. It depends on whether you enjoy working in someone else's "Frame of Mind", which I certainly do! [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>