Thanks, I really appreciate it. :)
I wrote this poem a little while ago, and I kind of feel like I want to share it; but then again, I'm a little unsure, so it might get taken down eventually... I'll just see how I go. It probably won't mean much to anyone else who's reading it anyway...
You had the most amazing smile.
Your full-blown grin used to crinkle your eyes…
Though you’d often try to hide
That light of life you held inside.
You kept secrets behind your eyes.
Your fringe would veil that covert smile…
And though that soft warm glow remained
You’d struggle to keep it contained.
You were hushed the last I saw you.
Your laugh stayed buried deep inside…
And we didn’t even realise
That light had dimmed behind your eyes.
And it made me think of someone I know who now has Parkinsons Disease. It's lovely and sad. Keep sharing!
Pretty much ditto to what everyone else has said. I tend to have an abhorance of poetry but this is definitely quite moving, and is the kind of thing that would reach everyone.
I agree with everyone else. It's beautiful and sad, all your writing is amazing. I really like it :)
Thanks so much for all the comments guys, sorry it took me so long to reply! I kind of got caught up in real life things and I haven't really felt like writing lately, but it really means a lot that all of you could relate to the poem in some way. :)
I was suddenly struck by another poem so I thought I'd post it here before I could change my mind:
I’m feeling kind of strange.
I don’t want to resign myself to life.
I see the future; I wear a suit
And every day is monotony
Please don’t do that to me.
I want to go back to Neverland.
Childhood painted technicolour
By my nostalgic hand…
When I was always wild and free
Or so I have to believe
It’s my only Eden.
Says the Doctor
Your solution is simple.
This is nothing I have not stamped out before.
You’re simply lost
You need to travel
And then get a job
Start a family
You’ll have no time to be unhappy.
And if you feel your symptoms creeping back
Buy a T.V.
Teach your kids this remedy
This is the only way, you see.
This cure works so well
You’ll even forget it’s medicine
And there are no side effects
Except for apathy.
I don’t want to have to worry.
I want to want what people want for me
But I’m scared; once you give in
You settle into the fold
And put everything on hold
This is my only life.
This is my only life, you see.
Any comments appreciated. :) I'm just glad I felt like writing something again, hopefully I can keep this going and actually do something productive with it.
I love how the rhythm in this changes depending on who's talking; the doctor's got his terse syllables, while the main narrator's words hold just a hint of desperation. Love the subject matter, too. Sooo easy to get stuck in a dead-end job you hate; cos change is difficult and you convince yourself better the evil you know than the dreams you'd love to achieve. (Not at all thinking about the last job I had, and the people still stuck there, going through cycles where they convince themselves that they're happy, then move through to horror at the thought of being stuck there forever and then fading back to exactly that apathy you mention :P.)