Leaving - Part 1 |
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Chapter 2 |
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| I storm down to the stables, enraged that at what I have learnt. Just outside the doors, Elspeth is fastening the last of a set of saddlebags to Gahltha’s back. “Elspeth,†I bark. “So, Javo was telling the truth when he said you were preparing for a long journey. You know the restrictions on Guildmistresses and masters travelling, not to mention the usual expedition rules. Why was guildmerge not consulted?†She finishes buckling the strap then turns to face me, chin lifted defiantly. “My journey is of a private nature and no concern of guildmerge’s.†Or your’s. She does not say it, but I can see it in her eyes. I glare at her, trying to think of a reason to forbid the journey, or at least delay it. “Your Guildmistress armband. You’re not wearing it.†She looks at me perplexedly. “No, it is with Ceirwan.†“Why does he have it?†“I gave it to him. He knows what must be done.†“You’ve never left it behind on past expeditions.†It is almost an accusation. “No, but this time I cannot take it.†Her voice is calm, steady. “It is time I gave it up.†“But the position of Guildmistress is for life, or at least requires a full guildmerge.†I am clutching at straws, refusing to see where this conversation is heading. “Yes. I made sure you were unavailable at the time. I knew that you would try to stop me.†What is she saying? No. She can't mean that; it can’t be... “That first winter, when you gave Daffyd your armband, I thought, we all thought...†“Yes.†One word. One word, when we thought she was dead. “But you survived, you came back.†Obernewtyn was saved. I was saved. “Yes.†That word again. Hope flares, maybe she will return again. Then I look into her eyes and I see the truth. Such miracles only happen once. I remember back to that winter, our first after defeating Madam Vega and Alexi. The remains of the expedition to the ruins had come back through the pass bearing Dragon and the warning, and Elspeth’s golden armband. Never do I want to live through another winter like that. Desperately trying to hold the newly formed community together and prepare for the soldierguards, while she was gone and I was dying inside. Every time she leaves on another expedition, another adventure, my heart breaks a little more as I wonder if she will return. And every time she does, it heals; until next time. “I will come with you.†She looks at me in surprise. “Give me long enough to get some things together and I’ll come with you. I can’t lose you again.†“No, Rushton.†She shakes her head sadly, her voice gentle. “Obernewtyn needs you. The time has come and I must do this alone.†Before I have a chance to say anything more, she vaults onto Gahltha’s back and they gallop off; towards the mountains. “Elspeth!†The cry rips from my throat, filled with pain and loss. She can’t be gone; not like that, not again. Not forever. I can’t live in a world without her. Just before she is lost amongst the trees I feel the faintest brush of her mind against mine. Farewell, Rushton-love. No, it can’t be. This can’t be happening. It can’t be real. It’s nothing but a dream, a nightmare, and I will wake up and everything will be normal. I squeeze my eyes shut and velvety blackness surrounds me. |
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