Have you ever had one of those days when you had to murder a loved one because he is the devil?
-Emo Philips
thats brilliant! *laughs*
I was in drama at the time. We were studying Commedia Dell' Arte (Is that how you spell it?):
Teacher: Now, (insert long-sounding strange name here) would put his hand on his stomach-
Friend: Stomach? Is that a word?
*class looks at her*
Teacher: Uhhhm, yes, you know, your tummy.
*class is smirking*
Friend: Ohhh. I thought I made that word up.
Ashling Guildmistress
17 years ago
Ashling Guildmistress
Mage
Just on George Bush saying stuff... A comedian says... I think Adam Hills said something like this:
'well has anyone noticed that he says Nu-cle-ar instead of Nu-clear and Terrorism becomes a two-syllable word: Tearism. Tearism, tearism. 'We must stop the war on tearism'. Two weeks later, and I'm not joking, but in the middle east a minister there was assassinated. The minister for tourism'
We had a girl once in class, after talking that mobile phones run on microwaves ask out teacher whether that means that you could charge your mobile phone in the microwave.
haha, this quote made me laugh:
"my mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-b!tch"
Mystic Guilden
17 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
Some quotes i came across a little while ago.
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
- David Acfield
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
- Terry Venables
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer J. Simpson
Wanderer Ward
15 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and netiher do we."
George W. Bush (August 9, 2004)
15 years ago
Mon Feb 01 2010, 07:25pm
This is one from my philosophy/tute teacher;
Us (my tute): Why are we going all the way to Hilsley for tute?
Teacher: I've just always wanted to have a class in Hillsley. I've been trying to organise one, but they won't let me. Apparently 'Shrine building 101' isn't a valid subject.
US: Shrine building? o_O
Teacher: Yeah. It's where everyone spends the year building one big shrine dedicated to me.
My friend: [act]hits him over the head wiith a balloon[/act]
14 years ago
Sun May 10 2009, 02:47pm
My history is extremely funny when he wants to (hardly ever). He spoke why the Apple Company is called apple:
(he talks about picking fruits and vegetables in the field, job common where I live but here only vegetables are harvested)
"Apple is called apple because the apple guys were picking Macintosh apples, but if they would have come here they would have called it Onion... I think Jalapeno would have made a perfect name"
Another day he spoke about a classmate's big orange (oranges are small where I live):
"That is a big orange you got there [act]picks up orange and looks at it[/act], maybe it's cancerous."
Here are a few funny quotes. i hope you like them!!
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Not so much a quote as a situation ... in the town my Dad grew up in, they had no recorded rainfall for 20 years, despite the massive seasonal storms they got. This mystery continued until someone worked out that the rain gauge was underneath the verandah of the post office. *headdesk* Must have been a fun conversation to have been a part of ...
As for quotes ...
"Beam me up, Scotty", "Play it again, Sam", and all other famous movie/tv quotes that were never actually said.
And anything that comes out of George Bush's mouth.
14 years ago
Fri Nov 27 2009, 11:37am
"You can't scare me! I'm a coward! I'm always scared!" - Rimmer, Red Dwarf
This is a conversation between me and a boy at school. We are in year 10 at a CATHOLIC highschool
Me: "Hey Daniel, did you know that A.D. stands for After Dinosaurs?"
Daniel: "Really?!"
Me: "Yeah"
Daniel: "Whoa... Jesus must be, like, a skeleton by now!"
From the Simpsons
Guy: *whip* "No listening. You hear me?"
Homer: "Ummm... No"
Guy: "You just don't learn do you?"
Ha, ha, that's funny Kimosha, specially the first one.
14 years ago
Sun Jan 31 2010, 07:09pm
I couldn't resist putting up a few Bush quotes ...
"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him."
"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority."
"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --in parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock.
"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th."
"I'm the commander -- see, I don't need to explain -- I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."
and this is from my humanities teacher ...
"I don't care if you were right first, he was the loudest!"
all your base are belong to us.
Not an exact quote but one of those sayings you have left over from when you are little.
Back when terrorism started to become publicised I used to get confused between terrorists and tourists. It started something like:
"Mummy, why are they worried about terrorists? They're just people on holidays."
Now when we see a tour bus it is always:
Oh, no! It's a bus full of terrorists!"
One I heard a teacher use was, "Your ignorance betrays your wisdom!" I was pretty much, WTH?
I founf out later she was supposedd to say, "Your ignorance matches your wit." It was a pretty big stretch. If she'd said it right, it would have been really funny!
Another qute on the subject of teachers.
My History teacher,
"The only thing we learn from history is that we never learn."
13 years ago
Thu Jun 17 2010, 11:01am
this is'nt wrong or stupid but it funny
I can only please one person a day
today is not you day and tomorrow dos'nt look good either ;)
ok here is another George Bush quote. the first time i hear it i was like WTH!!!???
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
