Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
Guildmember
“Angleleg…†she said, half dazed, hearing the tuna flop his way out of the station.
“That’s rather unfortunate,†commented a mouse as he dragged the chair out. As he reached the threshold of the door, Kira slammed her foot down, neatly missing the mouse’s nose.
“Unless you want to learn how to fly, leave it!â€
The mouse bounced backwards under the force of her words, then with a wobbly step, dashed out of the office.
Kira glared him off, before covering her face with her hand. In charge of a whole Police Force, she was the youngest in her family to reach such a point. Yet she could do this. She had spent her whole life being ready for this. She didn’t stare for hours at her father’s lamented hat for nothing. She could do this.
“Grambles, assemble the force,†Kira snapped as she marched through the door.
“Yes sir!†Grambles saluted, and then stood at attention.
Kira watched him for a time, waiting for him to move. “Grambles,†she started finally. “Get to it then?â€
“Forces are assembled, sir!†Grambles snapped off.
Kira swayed her body to one side to peer behind Grambles just in case she had missed someone. “No ghosts in the force?†she asked hesitantly, squinting her eyes just to make sure.
“No, sir!â€
She turned about looking around her and again was unsuccessful in finding anyone else. “So it’s just you?â€
“Oh, no sir,†Grambles emphatically shook his head. “There’s Lunny, too, but he’s off on worker’s comp.â€
“What happened?†Kira asked, her mind still reeling slightly.
Grambles’ eyes widened and he shook his head. “We don’t like talking about it much, sir. Let’s just say I’ll never look at canned tomatoes the same way again.â€
“Oh,†Kira muttered, coming to the conclusion quickly that she didn’t want to talk about it either. “Well then, that’s the first order. We need to get more recruits, we can’t have a station with only two.â€
“You can always put an ad in the Classifieds,†Grambles told her cheerfully. He reached under the front desk and pulled out a pile of used brown paper bags. Some had grease stains making them transparent, others had dark splotches, they all had a rather rank smell. Scrawled over the top of them all, in various pens and crayons, with a myriad handwriting styles were advertisements. From
“They use old paper bags?â€
“The Camelalotian Classifieds people believe strongly in recycling,†Grambles said, nodding his head in blank agreement. “Last week they were on old bus tickets.â€
Kira had this sudden image of a person surrounded by junk busily scratching away various ads people yelled to him over the mounds of rubbish.
“So we can put a recruitment ad in here?â€
“By saucepan you can,†Grambles grinned.
“Well then, get onto it,†Kira waved him off. Grambles saluted, puffing his chest out far.
Kira saluted him back, and held onto her exasperated sigh until the front door of the station closed. She needed to go to the castle, but you couldn’t leave a station unmanned, that went against everything she had been taught. The Station is Always Manned, rain, hail, or penguins, a copper was always here. But with only her and Grambles, she couldn’t possibly go to the castle without breaking such an important rule.
As she thought, a mouse scuttled past her, heaving a coat rack above his head. Kira’s hand shot out, and she gripped the coat rack and lifted it, and the mouse, up. Like a shot, she flipped the coat rack about and scooped the mouse up. It was a black spotted mouse, with mottled grey and three spots of orange in its coat.
“Oi! Whatcha doin’!†the mouse growled.
“If you can’t beat them, join them. What’s you’re name?†she demanded.
“I’m a mouse, what do I need a name fer?†he squeaked back.
“Everyone has a name, I want to know what yours is,†Kira said coolly.
“Muris than, call me that if ya need a name,†he squirmed in her hold.
“Good, then. New Recruit, Police Sergeant Muris, I need someone to look after the Station until I get back, are you up for the job?†she asked sharply.
“Dental plan?†he squeaked.
“One of the best,†she responded. “But you have to join the union.â€
“Cheese?â€
“In the fridge, unless that’s already been lifted, peanut butter, too,†she encouraged.
The mouse blinked a few times, turned its head far about to look at the station. “Do I get a hat?†Muris asked finally.
“A policeman isn’t a proper policeman without his hat,†Kira said solemnly.
“Then you have yourself a deal, Sir!†Muris managed a salute. Kira set Muris down on the front desk before she saluted back.
“Then Police Sergeant Muris, you’re in charge until I get back,†ordered, picking up her hat.
“Where are you going, sir?†Muris squeaked.
She dusted her hat off before placing it securely on her head. “I’m going to see a man about a roof,†she said. Then with one last nervous brushing down of her uniform jacket, she headed out the door.
“Good thing, too,†Muris muttered, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cigar. Above them the sky gathered clouds. It wasn’t something she liked talking about and no one was willing or daring enough to point it out.
