Dreamweavers' Guilden
13 years ago
Wed Dec 22 2010, 09:54pm
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
I said I would aim for 10,000, but seeing as I have nearly 7000 as it is, I think I will amp it up to 20,000 for now, and maybe change it up more later (though if the last few days are any sign, I may not even reach that)
My Story is called 'Ophelia's Story' (original right?) and is about a girl called Ophelia. That is all I shall give away right now ;D
first two days: 6,894 words
Since then: Zip :P
09/12/2010: 9,811 and counting!
11/12/2010: 11,694!
Since then: Zip again :P
22/12/2010: 12,858
But I mean to amend that either tonight or tomorrow :) I just have to finish cleaning my room first ~:|
Anyway I placed my first snippet in the 'snippets' thread, but I shall put another short one here just for the fun of it:
They had just about reached the doors, and Ophelia nodded at Sophie when she saw a leg stick out in front of Brian. Not realizing it was there, he tripped, and fell to the floor, sending his bag contents flying. Red in the face, he picked himself up and started to pick up his belongings. The twins, Sophie and Ophelia bent down to help him.
“Better watch where you are going stick, next time you might knock someone out when you come crashing downâ€
Ophelia left the four to picking their stuff up to stand and face the person who had tripped Brian over. She wasn’t surprised to see that it was Annabelle who had done so. She smiled maliciously at Ophelia.
“What you doing hanging round with those weirdoes. You should be hanging with us†Annabelle laughed, and her cronies joined in. Ophelia simply stood there, glaring at Annabelle, until the laughter died down.
“I would no more hang around with you then I would kiss a pig†Ophelia said sharply, and there was a sharp intake of breath from those surrounding her and Annabelle.
“Is that so? You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Do you know who I am?†Annabelle asked her smile now turning evil.
“I know you know who I am†Ophelia answered. She looked over to Jay, a silent message in her eyes, she was happy to see him move a little bit faster. “But I am guessing you are a pig, or have at least been kissing one. That or a clown, didn’t you know that excessive make-up is so not in anymoreâ€
The four had finally finished picking Brian’s things up, and Ophelia was pleased to hear Sophie and the twins burst out in laughter. Annabelle’s face had turned red, and she took a step closer to Ophelia.
“You so do not know who you are dealing with†She said, forcing the words angrily out through her clenched teeth.
“Oh I think I do†Ophelia said, not backing up at all, and staring Annabelle right back. Annabelle was the first to look away, rolling her eyes.
“Come on Joey, she is so obviously not worth our time†She turned to go, pushing past Ophelia and her four new friends. As she reached Ophelia, she whispered in her ear “I am so going to make your life hell†She elbowed Sophie as she pushed past her, and two big boys following behind her shoved the twins out of the way. Ophelia stared after them as she felt Jay’s presence next to her. She heard Annabelle’s last parting words as the door s closed behind her.
“Let me know if you wish to be the guardian of someone who is actually worth your time Jay! I can make it so much more worth your while†She flicked her hair at them before exiting the caf. They heard her laugh as the doors closed, and then Jay turned Ophelia around to face him, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Wanderer Ward
13 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
I like it Bambi! :) Once again, who are these guardian people? I want to know! :P Good luck for the next few days. I hope you get back into it :)
Ooh, now I'm interested! It's great that you've written so much already - keep up the great work! :)
Dreamweavers' Guilden
13 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
Lol thanks everyone :) Have just reached 8,000 so apparently block is gone. Will put another snippet here in a second. But its not great writing, because I am not editing it at all :P
That's terrific bambi! :D I can't wait for the next installment.
Dreamweavers' Guilden
13 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
ok, here is the next tippet, just hit 8,811 words!!!
Jay nodded. “You are what the mortals, or non-magical would call a wizard or witch. But your official name is mage. Actually we are all Mages. And though we call ourselves Immortal, technically we are not, we just live for a really long time, and age a lot slower than the ‘mortals’. For instance, one of your teachers at the moment is 300 years old, but she still looks like she is only 30 odd. Bu then the king and queen are only 150 years old, but they look 30 odd as well. Now, there are two types of our people. There are people like you, who are magical in the sense that you can actually use the magic, where as the guardians, like myself, have the magic but are unable to use it, except to build shields, like the one you experience when you try and ‘read’ me. We call you Mages, because you can use the powers, while we are guardians because we protect. Of course, there are different types of Mages and Guardians as well. For instance, I am what you call a level 1 guardian. I am good enough to get a level 1 priority mage, but now a level 0 priority, who would be guarding say the king and Queen, or Annabelle’s parents, who are the king and queen’s advisors on some aspects of the people. Just because you are a level one priority, doesn’t mean you are the most powerful mage, or going to be the most powerful. The mage ranking system works a bit the same, only you are not called a level one mage, your system works in colours. For instance, you will be a white mage at the moment, because you are untrained. I suspect by the end of the week you will be at least a Blue, if not Red mage. That is a powerful but still not qualified mage if you are blue, a trained and qualified mage is Red. A fully trained, and extremely powerful mage is a Black Mage, but there are only two of those in our world at this point in time. One of them is the king, the other is the queens most trusted advisor, who is nearly 500 years old. From the ability you are showing, I expect you shall one day be a Black Mage, but that could be years from nowâ€
Wanderer Ward
13 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
Hurrah! I've been waiting for you to reveal the identity of the guardians! :P Sounds interesting :)
Dreamweavers' Guilden
13 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
Lol hence why I put it up Kaede XP Thought you might enjoy it :)
I really like the concept Bambi :). I'd like to see a bit more description though. What's the speaker's tone of voice? How is the listener reacting? What's happening at the same time as this conversation? (What can I say, I'm a curious girl :-")
Dreamweavers' Guilden
13 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
here's the whole snippet, just for you Ashta :P
Ophelia stared at Jay, her mouth hanging open, before she recovered her wit and shook her head to clear it. “How much can I ask?â€
Jay looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?â€
“Well, Georgio and Serena only ever let me ask certain things. If I asked something they couldn’t, or wouldn’t answer, they would just say they would tell me later. Only later would never come. I learnt to not ask eventually. It got so annoying and frustrating, so I just gave upâ€
Jay just smiled at Ophelia. “What do you want to know?â€
Ophelia rolled her eyes. “Fine. What am I exactly? And don’t say Ophelia, because I know that I am Ophelia Bordeaux and I am 18. That’s not what I mean. Am I a mage like you were saying before? “
Jay nodded. “You are what the mortals, or non-magical would call a wizard or witch. But your official name is mage. Actually we are all Mages. And though we call ourselves Immortal, technically we are not, we just live for a really long time, and age a lot slower than the ‘mortals’. For instance, one of your teachers at the moment is 300 years old, but she still looks like she is only 30 odd. Bu then the king and queen are only 150 years old, but they look 30 odd as well. Now, there are two types of our people. There are people like you, who are magical in the sense that you can actually use the magic, where as the guardians, like myself, have the magic but are unable to use it, except to build shields, like the one you experience when you try and ‘read’ me. We call you Mages, because you can use the powers, while we are guardians because we protect. Of course, there are different types of Mages and Guardians as well. For instance, I am what you call a level 1 guardian. I am good enough to get a level 1 priority mage, but now a level 0 priority, who would be guarding say the king and Queen, or Annabelle’s parents, who are the king and queen’s advisors on some aspects of the people. Just because you are a level one priority, doesn’t mean you are the most powerful mage, or going to be the most powerful, because the mage ranking system works differently. Their system works in colours. For instance, you will be a white mage at the moment, because you are untrained. I suspect by the end of the week you will be at least a Blue, if not Red mage. That is a powerful but still not qualified mage if you are blue; a trained and qualified mage is Red. A fully trained and extremely powerful mage is a Black Mage, but there are only two of those in our world at this point in time. One of them is the king; the other is the queens most trusted advisor, who is nearly 500 years old. From the ability you are showing, I expect you shall one day be a Black Mage, but that could be years from nowâ€
Ophelia nodded, understanding what he had been saying. “So, how does the schooling work?â€
“Well†Jay started. “Do you mean the guardians? Or the reason why you are allowed to start half way through a school year?â€
“A bit of both†Ophelia replied sheepishly.
Jay smiled. “You are allowed to start half way through the year because your parents deemed it so and that is all I am allowed to tell you. As for a guardians training, we are usually picked when we are 6. There have been some cases when we are older, but not many. Most guardians are Males, though we have 5 senior Level 0 female guardians in our ranks at the moment, and one up and coming guardian. You will actually notice the guardians around your school. We finish when we are 18, while you will enter uni, we will as well, but more like your body guards then students. Your friends the twins? They are training to be guardians, and have 2 more years before they will get their assignments. The two big guys who follow Annabelle and Joey around are training also. There are some cases where exceptions are made, and where we finish our training early. This is usually only when there is a need for the guardian now and not when they are finished, because only certain types of us can become guardians. The only other time we finish early is if you are exceptional at being a guardian, in which case you will get your first assignment at 16 instead of 18â€
“Were you one of those people?†Ophelia asked when Jay paused. He nodded at her.
“The king and queen came to our school one day and looked us over. They picked me for a special task, though I still have no idea what it is. They said I had the qualities, and so I got my first assignment at 16. I was very successful. So then I got transferred when I was 18, to a student here. And one year later, I get a call saying that you miss Bordeaux would be attending the school, and that I would be your guardian. And so here I am†He smiled at Ophelia, but she was lost in thought. He stared at her for a second, waiting for her to ask him something else, before realizing that she was too busy thinking over something.
Thanks Bam :D, but that's not quite what I meant :p. I think Jay's speech is a little long and could be broken up by a bit of description, but that could just be my personal taste. I'm really enjoying it so far and look forward to reading more!
Dreamweavers' Guilden
13 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
So, haven't written anything in ages, but have written a lot tonight. Unfortunatly it is mostly in French, so I will not put it all up here, but I will put an ealier snippet in for everybody's enjoyment! Here you go:
3 hours later, the man turned off the main round onto an old drive way. Like the many other houses and schools Ophelia had been too she guessed it would lead to an old building. The garden lining the drive way was beautiful, obviously cared for by loving hands. They reached the end of the drive way, and in front of them was an old brick building, just as Ophelia had guessed. If not for the layout, Ophelia would have called it a castle, but it was more like a Cheatuex she had once spent three nights in France. Made to be an imposing building even to the wealthiest students, Ophelia was not surprised or overwhelmed by the building. She was more intrigued. She still had no idea where it was, save that it was in Britain somewhere, and this was a piece of information that was as infuriating to Ophelia as it was interesting. No matter where she had been sent before, she had always known where it was, whether it was new housing arrangements, or a new school. Now there had been complete secrecy. She did not even know whether she was to live on sight or not, though guessing by the size she supposed she was. Now as the car pulled up and she started to get out, an older man came to her side and opened her door.
“Welcome to Mattingham house my lady. I hope your journey here was satisfying?â€
I would be more satisfied if I knew where I was Ophelia thought, but instead she smiled at the man.
Dreamweavers' Guilden
12 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
Ok, so I am continuing on with this story, and am aiming or 30,000. I cant find it right now but I now it is on my USB which is in one of my many bags :P
Mystic Guilden
12 years ago
Mystic Guilden
Mage
I hope you found your USB Bam....I'm looking forward to seeing a word count update in here at some stage :)
Wanderer Ward
12 years ago
Wanderer Ward
Dreamscape Artist
How're you going Bam? Have you found your USB? I hope so! I'm so glad that you're continuing on with your work from last year's OberNoWriSu! :D Have you worked on it at all throughout the year?
Dreamweavers' Guilden
10 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
Ok so I realised that despite the fact that I asked people to open this up, I hadn't actually put anything up. So I decided to go through my USB and I found the story I was working on last time so I am going to put that up because I changed a whole heap. I hope people enjoy it!:
EDIT: except once again, cant find my USB ::facepalm:: will post something when I do!
Dreamweavers' Guilden
10 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
Found it! Yay! Here you go:
“your very quiet†the Jaylan said to the girl in the backseat. She glanced quickly at him and then back out the window.
“I just, I haven’t travelled with anyone but Georgio and Serafina before. I don’t like this†She sighed, a sad look on her face.
Jaylan took pity on the girl. He knew how hard it was to adjust to new places. He imagined it would be even harder when you didn’t know anyone there at all.
“This must be very hard for you then†Jaylan stated. He nearly winced, but years of training kept him from it. He realized just how hard he sounded when he said that. But the girl didn’t seem to mind. She just nodded sadly.
“I don’t mind moving schools, or even countries. But I have always had their support when I have done it. Now, I don’t know what I will doâ€
“what scares you the most?â€
The girl glanced quickly up at him, a slight look of surprise on her face. A quick thought crossed his mind, that unlike himself, the girl had no training.
“I don’t think I am scared. I just don’t really fit in anywhere that is all. And usually I have Georgio and Serafina there to help me but now I don’t. Do you know why I have been split from them? They told me they weren’t allowed to tell me and it was because of my parents, but I haven’t ever even met my parents, I didn’t even think they are still aliveâ€
Jaylan felt sorry for this girl. He didn’t really have any more answers for her then she did.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why your parents picked now to send you to Mattingham. Usually the students come as pre-schoolers and have either left or are boarders by their high school yearsâ€
“So, what year will I be put in? I mean, I just came from Australia where I would’ve been in grade 10, but I haven’t lived in Britain since I was 5, I cant remember how the school system worksâ€
Jaylan shook his head. “We don’t follow the same system as the british people do. We have our own system that we follow. But that will all depend at what level you are at. You may be able to be put in the year with other people your age, but you also may be put in a younger year because you haven’t been to any of our schools before, but I cant tell you anything for sure, that’s for the headmasterâ€
The girl’s head had snapped up when Jaylan had said ‘british people’ and she had listened keenly when he had talked about ‘our school’. Maybe he was right, and she really didn’t know anything about her people. He found himself wondering again, just who was she? Looking at her in the rear vision mirror, he saw she was looking out the window thoughfully.
“What do you mean by british people? Aren’t you british?â€
Once again, Jaylan shook his head. “No. I was born and raised in franceâ€
“So you didn’t attend the school I am going to?â€
“Yes, but only for my final year of trainingâ€
She cocked her head to the side and regarded him thoughtfully. “Final year of training? Training for what? And if you were born and raised in France, why don’t you have a French accent? You don’t have any sort of accent!â€
What she had said just confirmed what Jaylan had guessed. Even the youngest of their kind knew what training meant. She knew nothing about their civilisation. She probably didn’t even realize what she could do. He felt a little sorry for her. Their civilisation was very close knit and every one of the lower class and upper class knew everyone. They were all, sometimes painfully, aware of everyone’s business and they all knew who was a Guaridan and who was a Mage. This girl obviously didn’t know the difference between either of them and probably wasn’t either aware that either of them exsisted. He knew when he first met georgio and serafina that they were both guardians, albeit little known ones, and he had felt the girls presence. He gathered that this was because she was a trained mage, but now he wondered.
“Do you know anything about our race?†he asked now.
“Our race?†The girl asked, obvious confusion on her face. “Do you mean humans?â€
Jaylan shook his head. “No I mean our race. So its true, you really know nothing?†he flicked the indicator on and turned into the driveway of the school. He was waiting for an exclamation or a sound of astonishment, as most new students did. The school was huge and impressive. But the girl said nothing, she just simply took in her surroundings and then answered Jaylan’s question.
“No. I know nothing about an ‘our race’. I am human and I know the human histories, isn’t that all I need to know?â€
Jaylan shook his head. He didn’t know what he was allowed to tell the girl, so instead he decided to keep his mouth shut and let the head master tell her anything she needed to know. The girl looked at Jaylan expectantly, but when she realized he wasn’t going to tell her anything, she sighed unhappily and went back to looking out the window, taking everything in of her new school. She was secretly hoping that this would be her last school, but she knew that things hardly ever happened how she wanted to.
There are plenty of interesting questions just waiting to be answered in there. Nice!
Do you have a target for OberNo, Bam? Or are you just planning on writing and seeing what happens?
Dreamweavers' Guilden
10 years ago
Dreamweavers' Guilden
Rebel
Nah I am just planning on actually trying to finish this novel :P It is one of those things which I have plenty of ideas and chapters written for, but it doesn't actually have any structure or anything. That is the first bit and it is the only bit I am actually happy with where I have it and it is the opening! :P but I am glad you liked it Bunne, thank you for taking your time to read it :)