The Ongoing Saga of the Lady Mysterious / The Scroll Archive / Forums

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

AS YOU MAY REMEMBER, WE LEFT OUR INTREPID HEROES, THE LADY MYSTERIOUS AND HER CHIEF SQUIRE, THE PERSONIFICATION OF THE THEME SONG FROM TITANIC, DROWNING IN A BOWL OF CUSTARD...

(Queue the end of the previous episode)

The Lady Mysterious: We must call for the Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence!

Personification of the Theme Song from Titanic: But he is so stupid! Besides, he wouldn't know how to train the hedgehogs!

*The Lady Mysterious slaps the Personification of the Theme Song from Titanic with her gauntlet*

The Lady Mysterious: Silence! Fool with the breath of a thousand cupcakes!

*And so The Lady Mysterious and her second most foolish minion thrash and languish in the custard.*

AND NOW THE NEXT THRILLING EPISODE, IN WHICH THE LADY, THE THEME SONG AND THE HEDGEHOGS SUDDENLY FIND THEMSELVES (AND THE CUSTARD) ON A NEW BOARD

*The String of Knotted Hedgehogs emerges coughing and spluttering from the custard*

First Hedgehog: Well now, will you look at this board, my fellow hedgehogs?

Second Hedgehog: Why, it's so shiny and new!

Third Hedgehog: I feel young again!

Fourth Hedgehog: I have custard in my trousers!

Fifth Hedgehog: I have trousers in my custard!

Sixth Hedgehog: I have peanuts up my nose!

The Lady Mysterious: Wilt thou not stop this ceaseless chatter and help me out of this custard!

The Personification of the Theme Song From Titanic: Perhaps if we try calling the Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence!

The Lady Mysterious: No! We simply don't have the room! He talks to largely

Seventh Hedgehog: Has anyone seen my crumpet?

Crumpet: I'm in the custard. Have you seen my cheese?

Cheese: Help! The Personification of the Theme Song From Titanic is trying to eat me. Eeep!!!

The Personification of the Theme Song From Titanic: *burp* Am not!

The Lady Mysterious: Silence, foolish minions all! The Personification of the Theme Song From Titanic is slowly drowning, and I can only stand on his shoulders for so long! Will my faithful hedgehogs not rescue us?

Hedgehogs: *whisper whisper confer confer want my crumpet back first confer whisper whisper*

Spokeshedgehog: The String of Hedgehogs has voted unanimously to assist Our Lady Mysterious, on one condition...

The Lady Mysterious: What is this? How dare thee to impose such rules upon me! What is this condition!

Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog: One simple thing. Before we release you, you must...

*Enter Narrator, silencing the Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog!*

WHAT IS THE CONDITION IMPOSED BY THE STRING OF HEDGEHOGS? WILL THE LADY MYSTERIOUS AND THE PERSONIFICATION OF THE THEME SONG FROM TITANIC EVER ESCAPE THE CUSTARD? DOES ANYONE CARE? HOW MANY HEDGEHOGS ARE THERE ANYWAY? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMEL-ALOT, COMING SOON TO A MESSAGE BOARD NEAR YOU.

*Queue theme music, and dancing string of hedgehogs*

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

IN OUR LAST EPISODE, THE LADY MYSTERIOUS AND HER SQUIRE, THE PERSONIFICATION OF THE THEMESONG FROM TITANIC BEGGED THE LADY'S STRING OF KNOTTED HEDGEHOGS TO RESCUE THEM FROM THE CUSTARD. BUT THE STRING OF HEDGEHOGS (LED BY THEIR SPOKESHEDGEHOG, SEVENTY-FIFTH HEDGEHOG) IMPOSED A SINGLE CONDITION UPON THE RESCUE...

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Spokeshedgehog: The String of Hedgehogs has voted unanimously to assist Our Lady Mysterious, on one condition...

The Lady Mysterious: What is this? How dare thee to impose such rules upon me! What is this condition!

Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog: One simple thing. Before we release you, you must...

*Enter Narrator, silencing the Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog!*

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AND NOW, THE THRILLING CONCLUSION...

Buneater: What be the condition, Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog?

Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog: We refuse to rescue the Lady Mysterious, unless she reveals her secret identity

The Lady Mysterious: HOW DARE THEE!!!!

Sixty-Fourth Hedgehog: But only think, My Lady, the Buneater wishes to know who you are, and so does the Teacosy. Is it not fair to reveal your identity to them?

The Personification of The Themesong From Titanic: They speak the truth, my Lady. Perhaps it is time we gave the people of Camel-alot some clue as to your name?

Bathmat: Yes! Tell us!!!

The Lady Mysterious: If thou insists!!! Let me out, then...

*The string of Hedgehogs lower themselves into the custard. The Personification of the Themesong From Titanic takes one end, and The Lady Mysterious puts her arms around his shoulders. The Hedgehogs back away from the custard, pulling the two stricken persons out*

Ninety-Third Hedgehog: Your promise, Lady Mysterious...

*The Lady Mysterious sighs*

The Lady Mysterious: Gather round, and I shall tell thee a tale...

*Both SusRidders and Hedgehogs gather*

The Lady Mysterious: Long have I been journeying to Camel-alot. Long have I read thou adventures. But only now have I revealed myself...

All: But who are you?

The Lady Mysterious: Can thee not guess?

All: No!

The Lady Mysterious: Alright then, I am...

*Enter the Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence*

Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: My Lady, My Lady!!!

All: Groan!!!

Fifty-Eighth Hedgehog: I thought she'd never get out of this one

Seventh Hedgehog: What ever happened to my crumpet?

Crumpet: Here I am!

Seventh Hedgehog: Oh! Sweet baby!

*They embrace*

*Queue romantic music*

Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN!!! My Lady, My Lady!!!

The Lady Mysterious: What does thou want, Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence?

Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER!!! I have brought the item you asked for!

The Lady Mysterious: Ah, excellent! Hand it over!

*The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence hands The Lady Mysterious a can-opener*

The Lady Mysterious: The can? Do thee have the can?

*The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From A Popular Musical Every Second Sentence looks at his shoes*

The Lady Mysterious: Dolt! Thou has forgotten the can!!! Personification of the Themesong from Titanic! Get the banana-cream yoghurt!!!

String of Hedgehogs: No!!! Not the banana-cream yoghurt!!!

The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: Surely that's no neccesary, My Lady...

The Lady Mysterious: Perhaps not! Fetch me the leopard-skin cuckoo clock!

All: *Gasp!*

Crumpet: Help! It's the Seventh Hedgehog! I think he's dead!

WILL THE MINIATURE MODEL OF A SCANDINAVIAN ELEPHANT WHO SINGS A LINE FROM A POPULAR MUSICAL EVERY SECOND SENTENCE RECIEVE THE LEOPARD-SKIN CUCKOO CLOCK PUNISHMENT? IS THE SEVENTH HEDGEHOG DEAD, AND IF HE IS, WILL THE CRUMPET EVER FIND TRUE LOVE AGAIN? HOW MANY MORE WAYS CAN THE LADY MYSTERIOUS THINK OF TO AVOID REVEALING HER NAME

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF...
THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMEL-ALOT!!!

*Queue Theme Music, and dancing String of Hedgehogs*

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

IN THE LAST MYSTERIOUS EPISODE, THE LADY MYSTERIOUS WAS ABOUT TO PUNISH THE MINIATURE MODEL OF A SCANDINAVIAN ELEPHANT WHO SINGS A LINE FROM A POPULAR MUSICAL EVERY SECOND SENTENCE BY USING A LEOPARDSKIN CUCKOO CLOCK. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CRUMPET THEN REPORTED THAT THE SEVENTH HEDGEHOG WAS DEAD...
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The Lady Mysterious: Dolt! Thou has forgotten the can!!! Personification of the Themesong from Titanic! Get the banana-cream yoghurt!!!

String of Hedgehogs: No!!! Not the banana-cream yoghurt!!!

The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: Surely that's not neccesary, My Lady...

The Lady Mysterious: Perhaps not! Fetch me the leopard-skin cuckoo clock!

All: *Gasp!*

Crumpet: Help! It's the Seventh Hedgehog! I think he's dead!
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AND NOW, THE MYSTERIOUS CONCLUSION...
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Crumpet: Help! It's the Seventh Hedgehog! I think he's dead!

The Lady Mysterious: Are you sure?

*The Lady Mysterious kneels down to administer aid, but to no avail. The Seventh Hedgehog is truly dead. The Lady Mysterious unties him from the String of Hedgehogs, and ties the Sixth Hedgehog to the Eighth Hedgehog.*

The Lady Mysterious: I'm sorry, Hedgehogs, Crumpet. I'm afraid he's dead. The excitment was too much... We must now bury him according to traditional burial practices of the String of Hedgehogs. Fetch the Orange Pekoe Tea and the Cardboard Cutout of thingy Cheney!!!

Fairy Godmother: Wait!!! There is another way... If we journey to the Land of Asparagus, we might be able to bring back his soul!

The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: No!!! Too dangerous!!!

Crumpet: Yes! Please!!! Save my beloved Seventh Hedgehog!!!

The Lady Mysterious: Fairy Godmother, you have been my most faithful companion for the last 4.7 seconds, tell me, FG, CAN IT BE DONE?

Fairy Godmother: Yes! First you must journey over the hills over Tapioca... Then through the cavernous mountain of cheese-sticks, and cross the haunted field of Chicken Kiev. It will be dangerous, but it CAN be done.

Crumpet: I will go!!!

The Personification of The Themesong From Titanic: Me too!

Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: I loved the Seventh Hedgehog like a brother. IF I WERE A RICH MAN!!! I am coming too!!! HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA!!!

*The String of Hedgehogs confers*

String of Hedgehogs: Mumble, mumble, mumble

Seventy-Fifth Hedgehog: We are going too!!!

Fairy Godmother: And I!!!

The Lady Mysterious: The Seventh Hedgehog was the most beautiful, loving and generous Hedgehog among us all. We will ALL go to the Land of Asparagus!

All: Hooray!!!

The Purple Elephant: But who ARE you

*A large novelty c0cktail shaker called Eric lands on her head, silencing her*

The Lady Mysterious: Onward! To the Land of Asparagus

*The Purple Elephant crawls out from under Eric*

The Purple Elephant: Who... are... you

*She is again silenced, this time by a sack of frozen peas*

The Lady Mysterious: I see fear in you, that would take the heart of me!!! But we must journey on! To the Land of Asparagus!!!

All: Hooray!!!

The Lady Mysterious: Um... where is it?

Fairy Godmother: Out the gate and turn left

All: Hooray!!!

AND SO OUR INTREPID HEROES BEGAN THEIR JOURNEY...

WILL THEY GET TO THE LAND OF ASPARAGUS? WILL THE SEVENTH HEDGEHOG BE SAVED? WHAT IS TAPIOCA ANYWAY? AND WHO IS THE LADY MYSTERIOUS?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMEL-ALOT

*Queue Theme Music, and Dancing String of Hedgehogs*

*As credits roll, The Purple Elephant crawls out from under the frozen peas*

The Purple Elephant: Who are you?? Hello?? Hello??

*She looks around*

The Purple Elephant: Where's everybody gone??

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

PREVIOUSLY ON THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMEL-ALOT...
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The Lady Mysterious: I see fear in you, that would take the heart of me!!! But we must journey on! To the Land of Asparagus!!!

All: Hooray!!!

The Lady Mysterious: Um... where is it?

Fairy Godmother: Out the gate and turn left

All: Hooray!!!

AND SO OUR INTREPID HEROES BEGAN THEIR JOURNEY...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
AND NOW, THE THRILLING CONCLUSION...........
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The Lady Mysterious: I cannot believe it! Two perfectly innocent words censored in the last episode.

Crumpet: I know! The American Vice President can't help being D*ck Cheney. That's no reason to change his name to thingy!!!

Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: And what about eh c*cktail shaker!!! That's what it's called!

C*cktail Shaker: It was most ill done.

The Lady Mysterious: Indeed. But we acheive nothing by complaining about the censor. The strange, strange censor...

Crumpet: Yes! Onward to the Land of Asparagus!!!

Buneater: Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! You don't fool me, Lady Mysterious!!! I know who you are!!!

Flying Jaguar: Oooh!!! Do tell!!!

Buneater: The Lady Mysterious is none other than...

*Buneater is hit by a French Dictionary*

Nineteenth Hedgehog: I think she's dead!!!

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Perhaps, but she was gifted with superior sandwiches... HE IS AN ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she DID know who the Lady is!

The Lady Mysterious: No! That's not fair. As our biggest fan, I think the Buneater deserves to be rescued. Therefore, when we reach the Land of Asparagus, the Buneater's soul shall be saved along with the Seventh Hedgehog!!!

Buneater's Soul: Yay! I get to be in the saga!

Fairy Godmother: What about her dying wish?? She wanted more punctuation, and more clues. Those who have not discovered you will need more clues, my Lady!!!

The Lady Mysterious: But surely the ridiculous amount of punctuation I use must be a clue in itself!!!

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: ME! A NAME I CALL MYSELF! What about the word Pfft!

Crumpet: The word Pfft?

The Lady Mysterious: Yes! Pfft!

Fairy Godmother: You don't mean an exclamation, fired off at the drop of a hat, and always extremely derisive?

The Lady Mysterious: Do I?

The Personification of the Themesong From Titanic: You are somewhat derisive, Lady, yes

Forty-third Hedgehog: I'd call it opininated.

Eight-second Hedgehog: I'd call it obnoxious!

Crumpet: No! I think she's more sort of... intolerant!

The Lady Mysterious: SILENCE FOUL MINIONS!!!! I BE NEITHER OBNOXIOUS NOR INTOLERANT, I SIMPLY BE... OBNOXIOUSLY INTOLERANT!!!

Crumpet: Are we going to the Land of Asparagus or not. (insert the letter smartle here)

The Lady Mysterious: Yes! Good thinking, that crumpet!!! The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence, thou lead the way!

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: I USED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND KNOWN AS ELSIE!!! Onward, this way!!! OLD MAN RIVER, HE JUST KEEPS ROLLING ALONG!!!

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WILL THEY EVER GET TO THE LAND OF ASPARAGUS?! WILL THEY RESCUE THE BUNEATER AND THE SEVENTH HEDGEHOG!? WILL ANYMORE CHARACTERS SUDDENLY BE INTRODUCED WITHOUT WARNING AND SOMEWHAT DUBIOUSLY INTRODUCED INTO THE PLOT!? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMEL-ALOT!!!

*Queue Theme Music, and Dancing String of Hedgehogs*

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: HE JUST KEEPS ROLLING A-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*all applaud. flowers thrown on stage. bees fly after them*

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

IN THE LAST EXCITING EPISODE, THE LADY MYSTERIOUS AND HER MINIONS, AFTER A HEATED DISCUSSION ABOUT CENSORS, AND DROPPING A PAIR OF GLARINGLY OBVIOUS CLUES UPON THE HEADS OF THE SUS-RIDDERS, PROCEEDED TOWARD THE LAND OF ASPARAGUS

Crumpet: Are we going to the Land of Asparagus or not. (insert the letter smartle here)

The Lady Mysterious: Yes! Good thinking, that crumpet!!! The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence, thou lead the way!

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: I USED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND KNOWN AS ELSIE!!! Onward, this way!!! OLD MAN RIVER, HE JUST KEEPS ROLLING ALONG!!!

AND NOW THE THRILLING CONCLUSION...
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Eighty-ninth Hedgehog: Behold! The hills of Tapioca!

All: Oooh!

The Lady Mysterious: We are a barely a day's journey away!

Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: If only there were a way to get there quicker

Crumpet: We could build a balloon and fly there!

Fairy Godmother: We could sail down the river on a raft made from Hedgehogs

The Lady Mysterious: We could catch the train

All: Ooh!

Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Wow! You are SO intelligent, Lady Mysterious. THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!! I wish I had your phenomonal wisdom. A MARK, A YEN, A BUCK OR A POUND!!!

*The Train pulls in at the station, and the Lady Mysterious and her assorted Minions climb aboard*

Crumpet: I'm scared. I've never been on a train before

Fairy Godmother: It'll be alright. Trains are perfectly safe up until the point they crash. You have nothing to worry about

Crumpet: Well that's a relief!

The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: You know, it's been a while since we randomly introduced a character and then dubiously linked them into the plot.

The Queen of France's Cheeseboard: Will I do?

The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic: You would be very helpful

Fifteenth Hedgehog: We're moving

Train: Chuff chuff chuff chuff! wooo! wooo! chuff chuff chuff chuff!

*The train begins to move*

The Lady Mysterious: Now, once we cross the hills of Tapioca, we'll reach the cavernous mountain of cheesesticks. The train will drop us off there, and we 'll be on our own. Does anyone have any questions?

Fifty-fifth Hedgehog: Why is the sky blue?

Fairy Godmother: What's Tapioca?

The Queen of France's Cheeseboard: Should I invest in marigold stocks?

Megana of Apple: Who ARE you?
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WILL THE TRAIN REACH THE CAVERNOUS MOUNTAIN OF CHEESESTICKS? WILL THEY FIND A USE FOR THE QUEEN OF FRANCE'S CHESSEBOARD? WHAT IS TAPIOCA? AND WHO IS THE LADY MYSTERIOUS? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMELALOT.

*Queue credits, resplendent with dancing hedgehogs*

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

IN OUR LAST DAZZLINGLY WELL WRITTEN EPISODE, THE LADY MYSTERIOUS AND HER VARIOUS MINIONS BOARDED A TRAIN FOR THE CAVERNOUS MOUNTAIN OF CHEESESTICKS...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Train: Chuff chuff chuff chuff! wooo! wooo! chuff chuff chuff chuff!

*The train begins to move*

The Lady Mysterious: Now, once we cross the hills of Tapioca, we'll reach the cavernous mountain of cheesesticks. The train will drop us off there, and we 'll be on our own. Does anyone have any questions?

Fifty-fifth Hedgehog: Why is the sky blue?

Fairy Godmother: What's Tapioca?

The Queen of France's Cheeseboard: Should I invest in marigold stocks?

Megana of Apple: Who ARE you?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
AND NOW, THE EVEN MORE WELL WRITTEN CONCLUSION...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Queen of France's Cheeseboard: Behold! The cavernous mountain of Cheesesticks

All: *Gasp*

The Personification of the Themesong From Titanic: Look how Cavernous it is!

All: *Gasp*

Conducter: End of the line! Everybody out!

The Lady Mysterious: Thee heard the man! Everybody off the train

*The Lady Mysterious and her assorted collection of miscellaneous minions alight from the train*

Train: Chuff chuff chuff chuff woo! woo! chuff chuff chuff chuff

Fairy Godmother: Wait! I forgot my luggage!

*The train ignores her frantic calling and leaves*

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Never mind Fairy Godmother. COME ON BABE WHY DON'T WE PAINT THE TOWN!!! We'll get it back. GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING TO YOU!!!

Fairy Godmother: But what about my toothbrush...

Nineteenth Hedgehog: You can borrow mine

Crumpet: Or mine!

Toothbrush: It's okay! I got myself out of there

Fairy Godmother: Oh thank goodness! I was so worried!

The Lady Mysterious: Ahem! In case thee are all forgetting, we do have a Cavernous Mountain to traverse...

Toothbrush: Sorry, Lady Mysterious

Fairy Godmother: Sorry, Lady Mysterious

The Queen of France's Cheeseboard: Sorry, Lady Mysterious

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Sorry, Lady Mysterious. THERE'S NO PEOPLE LIKE SHOW PEOPLE!!!

The Lady Mysterious: Enough Grovelling! ONWARD!!!

*The Layd Mysterious is first to begin the charge into the Cavernous Mountain. She dissapears straight into a Cavern. The Crumpet follows close behind, then the String of Hedgehogs. The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic is next, then the Fairy Godmother and her toothbrush. The Queen of France's Cheeseboard is next. Last of all, the Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence takes a deep breath*

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Well, I guess this is it! THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!!

*He runs into the Cavernous Cavern*

WILL THE CAVERNOUS CAVERN HAVE CHEESTICKS INSIDE? WILL THE LADY AND HER MINIONS EVER FIND THE SEVENTH HEDGEHOG AND BUNEATER? WILL THE NEXT EPISODE BE EVEN MORE WELL WRITTEN? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING INSTALLMENT OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMELALOT!!!
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*Queue Theme Music, with dazzling dancing String of Hedgehogs*

Anonymous

19 years ago

E-mail Address: -email-[/url]

IN OUR LAST EXCITING INSTALLMENT (WHICH, INCIDENTALLY, WAS NOT ALL THAT LONG AGO, YOU IMPATIENT PEOPLE!), THE LADY MYSTERIOUS AND HER ASSORTED MINIONS ENTERED THE CAVERNOUS CAVERN IN THE MOUNTAIN OF CHEESESTICKS!
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The Lady Mysterious: Enough Grovelling! ONWARD!!!

*The Lady Mysterious is first to begin the charge into the Cavernous Mountain. She dissapears straight into a Cavern. The Crumpet follows close behind, then the String of Hedgehogs. The Personification of the Themesong from Titanic is next, then the Fairy Godmother and her toothbrush. The Queen of France's Cheeseboard is next. Last of all, the Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence takes a deep breath*

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Well, I guess this is it! THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!!

*He runs into the Cavernous Cavern*
----------------------------------------------------------------------
AND NOW, THE NEXT EXCITING INSTALLMENT...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence has finally caught up with the Lady Mysterious and the other minions*

The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence: Wait for me! I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL! Wait for me! DOE, A DEER, A FEMALE DEER!

The Lady Mysterious: Oh, do hurry, we've nearly reached the end of the cavernous cavern

The Queen of France's Cheeseboard: You mean, we'll be able to see daylight again?

The Lady Mysterious: Yes. And then all we must do is cross the haunted fields of Chicken Kiev

*The Crumpet squeals with excitment*

Crumpet: And then we'll be in the Land of Asparagus!!!

The Firty-sixth Hedgehog: Then we'll find the Seventh Hedgehog again soon?

Crumpet: Hooray!

Toothbrush: Don't forget Buneater. She's been awful quiet, I hope it's not because she's dead!

Fairy Godmother: She doesn't need to be dead now, seeing as everyone knows who the Lady Mysterious is

Megana of Apple: I don't!!!

The Lady Mysterious: Die Rushton, Die!!! *clears throat* Ahem, sorry I don't know what came over me just now

Megana of Apple: Oh!!! Aha!

Personification of the Themesong From Titanic: I think everyone must have guessed your identity by now

Toothbrush: I don't

Thirty-fourth Hedgehog: Neither do I

*The Flying Jaguar steps forward and looks carefully around for passing safes, pick-up trucks and other things that might hurt her. She's so busy looking behind her that she doesn't see the volkswagen in front, which hits her and kills her*

*The Lady Mysterious sighs*

The Lady Mysterious: Good thing we're going to the Land of Asparagus anyway, isn't it

Dead Flying Jaguar: Curse you, Lady Mysterious!!!

The Personification of the Themesong From Titanic: Well, you were about to reveal the Lady Mysterious' identity!

Rillalola: We all know who she is anyway

*She steps forward*

Rillalola: The Lady Mysterious is none other than...

*She waits. Nothing happens. No falling pianos, no trucks reversing over her. Nothing*

Rillalola: Kayt Sel Liantuy!!!

*The Teacosy rips off the Lady Mysterious' mask to reveal the Kayt Sel Liantuy beneath*

Kayt Sel Liantuy: And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!!!
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YES! THE IDENTITY OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS HAS BEEN REVEALED!!! WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE EXT EPISODE? WILL THE LADY MYSTERIOUS BE ABLE TO CONTINUE CALLING HERSELF MYSTERIOUS? IS SHE TELLING THE TRUTH ANYWAY? WILL THE FLYING JAGUAR HAVE TO BE RESCUED ALONG WITH BUNEATER AND THE SEVENTH HEDGEHOG? HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE? HOW LONG HAS THE LADY BEEN WAITING TO USE THAT SCOOBY-DOO sned-UP?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF THE LADY MYSTERIOUS INVADES CAMEL-ALOT!!!
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*Queue Credits, resplendent with dancing String of Hedgehogs*