11 years ago
Wed May 29 2013, 03:43am
I’ve Given Up
I thought it was impossible,
To give up,
Just sit and wait,
For death to find me.
I thought I’d always be fighting,
And searching for you –
But it turns out even with love,
I can’t hold on forever.
I’ve given up,
Please come find me dear,
I’ve searched and searched,
I hope I’m near.
I’ve given up,
Please come find me dear..
Before death comes,
And sinks its claws into me.
I fear you are too late my dear.
All you’ll find is lifeless eyes,
In what used to be a pretty face,
That always smiled for you.
I’m sorry,
I’ve given up.
Somewhat based off the rhythm of Nothing Left to Say by Imagine Dragons. Hope youguys like it. :)
I also finally finished this poem/song i've been working on, again, somewhat based off of the rhythm of a song, it's Rebel Heart by The Goo Goo Dolls.
Raging Wild
I haven’t seen you in quite a while,
Not since the day I lost my smile,
Now here you are again,
Oh, you remind me of when –
We were like fire and gasoline,
All you needed was me,
And all I needed was you.
We were raging wild,
And running free,
All on our own,
Until you turned and ran away.
You say “Hello my dear,â€
I say “I didn’t expect you here.â€
You just smile back at me,
Like it’s a key,
To all our memories.
Oh boy here it goes again,
You remind me of when –
We were like fire and gasoline,
All you needed was me,
And all I needed was you.
We were raging wild,
And running free,
All on our own,
Until you turned and ran away.
So here you are,
Sitting at the bar,
Waiting for me,
Oh I can see.
Those were the days,
When everything was still okay.
Now I need you to walk away –
Again.
‘Cause you remind me of when,
We were like fire and gasoline,
All you needed was me,
And all I needed was you.
We were raging wild,
And running free,
All on our own,
Until you turned and ran away.
I haven’t seen you in quite a while,
Not since the day I lost my smile.
I don't know the two songs you're referring to but I think these two poem/songs are lovely and have a beautiful flow to them! I think the last two lines of 'I've given up' are very stark and set off the earlier parts perfectly. And I love the imagery of fire and gasoline in Raging Wild.
Thanks, Darga!! It's an interesting thought, i guess i didn't quite place fire and gasoline as imagery, but you're right, that's what it feels like. Thanks for the comment, as always!!
Sad Song
Play me a sad song,
Play it all night long.
Make it about love and life,
Just make sure it’s full of strife.
Let my tears flow freely,
Where no one can see me.
Let my heart cry out loud,
And scream, without a sound.
Play me a sad song,
Play it all night long.
Let the music flow through the air,
Reminding me of all we shared.
Let the song end slowly,
Fade away with all I once held closely.
And when the sun starts to rise,
I’ll whisper a soft goodbye.
Play me a sad song,
Please, Play it all night long.
Enough of Love
We had held on to nothing,
Praying it would become something.
We lied,
It’s no wonder we died.
Now, you’ve gone away,
But I’m here to stay.
What do I do -
I know I love you.
You were my last hope,
How am I to cope?
This knife is tearing through my heart,
And all I can see is the dark.
So I give this life up,
I’ve had enough,
Of this love.
How can I move on,
When my heart is long gone?
I’ve forgotten how to smile,
It’s been such a long while.
I’ve crashed to the ground,
I’ll never make another sound,
Just lie here until I’m forgotten,
My love is now rotten.
So I give this life up,
I’ve had enough,
Of this love.
I’ve given it all up,
I’ve had enough -
Of this pain,
Without gain.
Now I’m tearing myself apart,
Just waiting for the dark,
To overtake all of me,
Oh now I see.
Why did we hold on to nothing,
We had nothing.
Why did we pray for something,
We had nothing.
How could we lie,
I guess we wanted to die.
Why did you leave me here to die,
Just to save your own life?
Now I give this life up,
I’ve had enough,
Of this love.
This cold, cold love.
I’ve had enough of love.
The second one is based off of By the Way by Theory of a Deadman (acoustic Version)
I'm not depressed or anything, sad stuff just sounds good, lol. What do you guys think?
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Interesting concept of good, but funnily enough I know what you mean.
Both rather relentlessly miserable. I like them :P. I think 'this cold, cold love' is probably my favourite line.
You're right, you can definitely tug at people's heart-strings more if you go for the sad stuff! As long as you're not sad yourself, keep it up :).
Both poems are good, but I particularly like Enough of Love; the strict rhyming is slightly jarring which actually fits perfectly.
I agree that writing sad and depressing stuff just works better. As I've said about my own stuff, just keep it all in your writing and out of your life. :)
Thanks so so much for all the comments, guys, much appreciated!!
Untold
The best stories,
Are the ones left untold.
The best songs,
Are the ones left unsung.
The best sights,
Are the ones left unseen.
For the imagination,
Is ever greater,
Than any other sense –
And dreams,
Are greater than any reality.
Wow, Dakosha. That's beautiful. So simple, and yet so damn true!
lol, thanks darga!! just wondering, i'm not sure...
And dreams,
Are greater,
Than any reality.
Should i change that last stanza to that? to fit the 2nd to last stanza's rhythm/style/whatever?
bear in mind I know nothing about poetry... :) But I wouldn't change it. That three line version seems a bit forced. I liked it the way it was.
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Agreed. The poem flows beautifully as is. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks guys, sorry I disappeared. New poem, tho! :)
Brand New Scars
As words fill up,
And then spill out,
It’s only the wrong ones,
That escape these bars.
I try to hold them back,
And replace them with kindness,
But they just fire out,
Straight through your heart.
‘Cause the words I meant,
Were never said,
And all I gave you,
Were brand new scars.
Now you’re gone,
And it hurts to know,
I’m the only one to blame.
OK, i'm off to bed, ttyl! (hope you like the poem...)
Mystic Ward
11 years ago
Mystic Ward
Twentyfamilies Gypsy
Sad and to the point. nice
Corners
A split second mistake,
That cost more than a life.
She looked at her phone,
Instead of the road.
Now she carries around the guilt,
Of causing a family loss,
As her own family carries the sorrow.
You carry it around,
Plain to see,
Every time we pass the corner,
With a little white cross,
Planted in the ground.
Silence fills the car,
As well as your mind.
We just sit,
And wait,
And wonder.
Where do you go,
Every time we pass that corner?
Are you drowning in sorrow,
Or wandering through memories?
Perhaps the memories,
Of a better time,
Or maybe,
Of a worse time,
Like when you first heard,
What had happened,
Or the first time,
You saw the change,
To this corner of a road,
With a little white cross,
Planted in the ground.
Still we sit,
And wait,
Until words begin to flow,
Once more,
And expression fills your face,
Once more.
Just one question:
Why do you hide the pain,
So deep in your mind,
That only a little white cross,
Planted on the corner of a road,
Can call it out?
Are you afraid,
That your pain,
Will cause just as much damage,
As the actual wound?
Odd mood today, and again, so sorry i've been long gone... no promised about being back tho.... :(
I"ve got a new song, not sure about the rhythm.. it's differnet. what do you guys think?
Gotta Get Away
Gotta get away for a little while,
Clear your mind of all the empty words he said,
Gotta get away for a little while,
Clear your veins of all the poison
His kisses injected you with,
Gotta get away for a little while,
But it’s never enough.
Gotta get away for a little while,
But it’s never, no, never enough!
‘Cause soon enough you’ll be back there again,
He’ll be standing there
Waiting for you to come home.
He’ll say I’m so, sorry my dear,
And you’ll realize,
That it’s just enough –
Just enough,
For you to give in again.
Gotta get away for a little while,
Realize what’s right and wrong,
Gotta get away for a little while,
Realize what true and false,
Gotta get away for a little while,
Realize all you know is,
Black and Blue,
They’re his only gifts to you.
Gotta get away for a little while,
But it’s never enough.
Gotta get away for a little while,
But it’s never, no, never enough!
‘Cause soon enough you’ll be back there again,
He’ll be standing there,
Waiting for you to come home.
He’ll say I’m so, sorry my dear,
And you’ll realize,
That it’s just enough –
Just enough,
For you to give in again.
‘Cause you’ve been down this road,
Too many times before,
You know what’s waiting
There for you.
Gotta get away,
Gotta get away for a little while,
Run away for a little while,
Gotta get away for a little while,
Escape once more,
Just a little longer,
Little longer…
Gotta get away for a little while,
Maybe this time,
It’ll be just long enough.
‘Cause one day soon,
You’ll never return again…
‘Cause soon enough you’ll be back there again,
He’ll be standing there,
Waiting for you to come home.
He’ll say I’m so, sorry my dear,
And you’ll realize,
That it’s just not enough –
Just not enough,
For you to give in again.
Gotta get away,
And leave this life behind.
Gotta get away,
Until you find something,
Good enough for you.
Dakosha, welcome back, even if it's only for a short time. Corners was liquid and like a beautiful story. It reminds me a little of your book, although I know the underlying event in that is different. I loved it. And Gotta Get Away - the rhythm so works. I love it. Love the change from acceptance to resolve. Love the helplessness and need. Just love everything about it.
I think this bit affected me the most:
Realize all you know is,
Black and Blue,
They’re his only gifts to you.
Thanks so much, Darga! I'm so glad you like it, and especially those lines. I'm sorry i havn't been around, i want to try harder, make more time to write but.. just so much going on! /sigh
I am happy ot know that you're still here to read and comment the few times i'm able to post :) It's nice to know that someone is there willing to read my work. Thanks.
I'm always lurking :). Hope life is being reasonably kind to you, even if it's keeping you busy.
Woot Woot!! a song and a short poem! Gotta be quick, so i'm gunna post and run. Hope you like me, ttyl!
Pretty Thoughts
Words in mind,
Are just pretty thoughts,
But words on paper,
Are pretty thoughts -
Now found in other people’s heads.
Unseen
I am the one, standing unseen,
In the shadow of the doorway,
Leading to my dreams.
I hide here secretly waiting,
For what I’m not quite sure,
But whatever it is,
I hope it comes
Soon enough for me,
To step out of this doorway.
I am the one, standing unseen,
Wishing and dreaming,
But no longer creating,
For fear of being seen,
By those with cruel streaks,
Dark as blood,
Dark as blood.
Could someone come find me,
With a desire to heal this scar,
That runs through my mind?
Please, come find me.
As I curl up on the floor,
Wishing and dreaming,
Crying and screaming.
I am the one, standing unseen,
Wishing and dreaming,
But no longer creating,
For fear of being seen,
By those with cruel streaks,
Dark as blood,
Dark as blood.
Why must these thoughts circle
Around and around my head
With no escape?
Once, I filled my life with words and ideas,
But now I lie empty,
Drowning in the words that fled,
When I needed them most.
Too late,
I’m left unseen.
Now, I am the one,
No longer standing,
Falling,
Crashing,
Right through the broken floor.
I am the one, dying unseen,
No more wishing and dreaming,
And no more chances at creating.
I’ve been killed by the fear of being seen,
Seen by those with cruel streaks,
Dark as blood,
Dark as blood.
Please someone come pick me up,
Put me back together,
Even the pieces that are gone and missing.
I am the one, standing unseen.
I like!
I love the song. The rhythm works for me, and the repetition of 'wishing and dreaming' throughout I think is really effective. Beautiful :).
As for the poem - you know how famous writers have quotes associated with them? Yeah, this one will be yours :P. One day when you're published and known, Shonk will be writing these words in our 'From the horse's mouth' thread. It's just got that ring of age-old wisdom to it :).
Haha, ty so much guys!!!! Ty, i love the song, and the poem/quote. I'm glad you guys do too!! Funny thing is, Darga, i didn't even think about the wishing and dreaming thing, it just happened lol. Anyways... wish i had more to say, or more to post... ya, ttyl, gtg :(
