MISCELLANEOUS JAM SALE!
We'll jam anything we find!! Why not try some of our mystery flavours? You never know what you're going to get! New stock just in.
32 Quince Drive, West Camelalot
(on the corner of Mongoose Lane)
STILL LOST
One Persimmon
Last seen at jam sale
Getting very very very worried now.
If seen, call Rillalola on 6538475
LOST
One Brain.
Last seen prior to exam period.
Owner would dearly like it returned.
Please contact:
Crazedturkey or Dr. Satan with any information.
Found
one slightly rotten looking brain type object
Call: 1800 246 7222
ask for Morgan, if a man answers, please hang up
Lost
several turkey choirs, if found please send to:
13 Black Cat Street,
Town dodeccahedron,
Camelalot Border
Mystic Ward
19 years ago
Mystic Ward
Rebel
LOST
One concience, used only to justify going to church on Sundays,
sorely missed, well, just a little,
...not really....never
TO HELL WITH IT!
LOST
A battered old chicken, white and grey in colour with two black spots on the behind.
Comes to the name: 'Spankie'
The chicken is blind, and has pannic attacks, so if you come across it I urge you to put it in a bag staight away.
Last seen pecking at an old grandmothers' knee on the cn. of Spittbergs and Koals cr. last wednesday.
If seen, please call me on my new mobile phone number! It is: 04 376786.
Regards;
Katishtka Kosoloupe
May 27, 2005, 10:54pm[/url], Gally[/url] wrote:FOR SALE
Seven house-trained aardvarks. All have been taught skills in scone-making, juggling and microwave-devouring. Would suit voracious manufacturing bullant or someone who seeks to waste their cinbins on irrelevant produce. 17 golden cinbins, the lot.
If interested, please contact Sir Gallivant, c/- The Laundry, Camelalot Castle.[/quote]
Sir Gallivant
The Laundry, Camelalot Castle
As regards to your advert in the Camelalot Classifides.
a regular bidder, particularly of strange creatures that are not hired help with pensions, would like to purchase your aardvarks. His offer is handsome, that is to say his offer is a handsome pair of acrobatic frogs, who wear sparkly costumes. But he may be willing to negotiate and throw in a rather amusing dog which wears a wig and recites rude limerics.
if you wish to accept please send reply to:
Fred Strange
Camelalot Classifides reply office
sincerly
Fred Strange
LOST
My Regular Internet Access
If found, please return to The Lady (aka Kayt Sel Liantuy, Chateau l'Grandma)
Is dearly missed. Will pay handsomely.
FOUND
Regular internet access lurking around
in my Optus broadband computer.
Please call ms Kosoloupe immeadiately on;
04 376786.
Attention: Fred Strange
Dear Mr. Strange,
I understand that you wish to purchase some aardvarks of mine. As to your mode of compensation, I would be delighted to accept. It has been a particular aspiration of mine to own a pair of sparkly-attired frogs. However, I would be even more delighted if you were to throw eighty blocks of premium grade Top Deck into the deal.
If willing to negotiate in such a manner, please reply back to:
Sir Gallivant,
c/- The Laundry, Camelalot Castle
For sale
1 doomsday device*
Hardly ever used
Conveniently folds up into a band of travelling merchants**
Comes with a free junior lab test kit.
Will accept the following payment:
43 ducks teeth,
3 leg hairs of a leprechaun,
2 cornflakes from a parrel universe
and a piece of string.
Please contact:
The Guild of Random Persons
16th isle
Lunar Department.
*Some assembly required. Batteries not included.
**Please eat at ones own risk.
_____________________________
Found
One conscience
Misses owner terribly
Please send a telepathic message immediately to the
old hag wearing a grey moustache.
The guild of Random Persons
16th Isle
Lunar Department.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am replying to your advertisement regarding your
doomsday device that you are selling.
I would very much like to buy it, and I do have three
leg hairs from a leprechaun to pay you with.
Though, I do wish to ask if you have postage and
handling fees, as I am not as rich as some folk
who live these days.
Please call me at 09 56479077
Katishkta Kousuloupe.
FOR SALE
One(1) budgie, cames to the name 'Simon".
Is yellow, with a small red wine stain on its head.
Has a missing toe
Price - 99.9 phoenix feathers.
Will also accept a bag of Knuts
Please contact:
Lydia Black on 38224861.
!Found!
A battered old chicken, white and grey in colour with two black spots on the behind.
Comes to the name: 'Spankie'
Found pecking at an old grandmothers' knee on the cn. of Spittbergs and Koals cr. last wednesday.
Dear Mrs Kousuloupe,
Thank you for taking an interest in our used doomsday device. First of all, please write your address on the back of the envelope. It makes this process a lot quicker.
We have a special promotion going on for free postage and handling – Build your own raccoon. You get sent a raccoon piece by piece, you assemble it and send it back to us. Where it will get lost, then found and lost again. If we don’t find your raccoon, we arrange to have your order sent to you. If we do find your raccoon again, some angry men are coming to your house.
You should find your first raccoon piece attached to this letter.
Yours randomly,
GORP
16th isle
Lunar Department
!Found!
A whole raccoon
comes to the name apple cherry pie
If wanted, reply to:
Apple Banana Muffin
123 Fake Street
Camalot/Sus Rid border
WANTED
Self - grooming chuwawah.
*must have at least for legs and an eye
*must be black
*must have a suitable name eg; 'Twiggy', or 'Ziggy.'
*must know how to fish and cook a barbeque
Pease call or write to;
(07) 8756887645790.
1 Jarshold rd
Border of Forrests of Silence
Land of the Snow Wallkeks
Thanking you,
Katisksha Kousuloupe.
Dear Ms Kousoulopoupepoopy,
I have one for ya! Well, its kind of a black cat that LOOKS like a chihuaha...coz its a siamese cat. His name's Choko...is that suitable enuff [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/tongue.gif" alt=":P" border="0"/> He killed one of our goldfish in the pond so I guess he can "fish" *grumbles* but he cant cook a BBQ im afraid.
I can have him shipped to u, altho the only postal service in this remote town of Kontract, in Dizeez, can only get there via Asia, then Canada, then by doing a loop-de-loop in the ocean and then circling the world randomly until it crashes into your living room.
Regards,
Nataschia Volderflagen
55 Step-on-me-not Way
Kontract, Dizeez
9090
Nataschia Volderflagen
55 Step-on-me-not Way
Kontract, Dizeez
9090
Dear Nataschia Volderflagen,
I guese Choko would be suitable enough for me.
I only need him for hunting.
please have him shipped over immediatetely.
Katisksha Kousuloupe.
ps,
my name is pronounced,
Ka - tisk - sha Ko - so - loope.
thanking you kindly.
Katisksha Kousuloupe
1 Jarshold rd
Border of Forrests of Silence
Land of the Snow Wallkeks
Miss Kousuloupe,
You certainly took your time replying to my letter. I am both shocked AND apalled at your lack of organisation and outright BAD manners! HMMPH I say! HA-MMM-PH! I will be expecting a written apology forthwith! I'm waiiiitiinnnngg!
As for my precious Choko, I'm afraid he is currently travelling to China to perform at some music awards show but can be contacted at *** ***. Yes, thats right his number is STAR-STAR-STAR, STAR-STAR-STAR. He's a star, you see. He sings in the opera [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
Come to think of it, I don't think he would be the right kind of hunter that you require. He just got his nails done! I shall let you know if I find a more suitable candidate for your what ever it is that you plan to do with this animal that you need. Heavens, I hope you're not one of those terrible people that exploit chihuahuas by getting them to cook their BBQs all the time! Thats slave labour!
Regards,
Nataschia Volderflagen
Pronounced Ill-ai-na Wart-head [img]http://s2.images.proboards.com/tongue.gif" alt=":P" border="0"/>
Dear Nataschia Volderflagen(if that is your real name) *mutters...Ill-ai-na Wart-head..PAH!*,
The reason I took my time replying to your letter is because certain events had taken place and they had reactions that I had to be accounted for. For further notice, I would rather you keep your big nosy nose out of my personal buissness and into my advertisements only thankyou!
You will recieve no such apolpgy note, as I am getting my hair permed and my nails done and also I haven't time to fuss about for people like you!
As for Choko, I also sing opera and I certainlt doubt that he ranks any higher than me!
Regards,
Katisksha Kousuloupe.
PS: The stamp I used is one gundred and one percent recycled....SO THERE!
LOST: One fire-breathing dragon. answers to Fluffy. A little temperamental but very warm. VERY warm.
