Camelalotian P.D
18 Chairlift Rd.
Camelalot
Cantral
Dear Camelotian Police Department,
I am replying to your ad in the Camelot Classifieds, in which you expressed your need of new recruits. I am Rillalola the teacosy, and I have quite a resume, if I do say so myself.
While I have not worked as a police officer before, I have had experience in the capturing of criminals, espescially those criminals who like the taste of Persimmon jam.
I am very handy with a cricket bat. Those theives didn't know what hit 'em...
I have spent several years at the Camelot University, where I studied Criminal Behaviour in the Kitchen.
Though I have not been employed since I left the university, I am most confident in my people skills, having worked as a lollypop lady in a previous life.
I would dearly love this job, as it is a chance get out of the house and provide for my husband, my Persimmon, who was recently injured in an attack on his vegetableness.
I hope you consider my offer favourably,
Rillalola the teacosy
der camelotian polse dep
i wsh to aply 4 ajb. my 'resume' hasnt yt cos t dnt no wht to resume doin. pls advs.
fanz
bam
Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
18 years ago
Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
Guildmember
Dear Rillalola the teacosy,
Thank you for your application, we will contact you if you have successfully reached the interview stage
From
Acting Police Commander Kira Angleleg
Dear Bam,
RESUMES ARE SIMPLE. JUST LIST IN POINTS WHERE YOU HAVE WORKED AND WHY YOU WANT TO BE A POLICEMAN AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU THINK I SHOULD KNOW
I look forward to your application
Acting Police Commander Kira Angleleg
Camelalotian P.D
18 Chairlift Rd.
Camelalot
Cantral
Dear Camelotian Police Department,
In regard to ad in the Camelot Classified, i was firstly curoius about what sort of qualifications i would require if I was to join such a prestigous academy. I may not have the required qualifications and if so, I would be more than willing to partake in any training necessary for such a position.
In conjunction, I was curious as to whetehr or not it is necessary for me to purchase my own hat, as I saw another advert in the paper concerning such (as recommended by you). It should be noted that I am in dire need of surplus and hope that you will take me on, with my little experience (as yet, I have not worked- however, i am willing ot try knew things-we humans are rather adaptable).
Yours in correspondance,
Frillibee White
der polis dep
i wanna b plis mn cuse i wan na.
i work god b4 in alz me odzer jbz lyk teh tim i was a airplan pilat, i waz god @ tat.
u shuld no i wan na b polis mn.
bam
Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
18 years ago
Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
Guildmember
Dear Frillibee White,
Thank you for your application, if you have reached the interview stage you will be contacted.
As to what you would be required to bring, this will be further detailed if we request an interview.
And I have never in my life endorsed a product, i have no idea where you would have cultivated this idea.
thank you
Acting Commander Kira Angleleg Camelalotian P.D
Dear Bam,
Thank you for your application, we will contact you if you are required for an interview.
thank you again
Acting Commander Kira Angleleg Camelalotian P.D
de pols lady
tats god i keep me diery opan 4 u sos wen u cal i veilibl
bam
WANTED. THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS!
DVD PLAYER. LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW!
Must be in good condition. Everything about it is appealing! I need it so I can watch my old Ethel Mermans without the Themesong whinging. Everything the traffic will allow! If you can supply one, please contact me. Nowhere can you get that special feeling!
Will pay in used bus-tickets, policeman's hats or melted icypole. When you are stealing that extra bow!
The Miniature Model of a Scandinavian Elephant Who Sings a Line From a Popular Musical Every Second Sentence. There's no people like show people!
Well-Bred Manor, Camelalot. They smile when they are low!
Dreamweaver Guilden
18 years ago
Dreamweaver Guilden
Rebel
FOR SALE
One coconut shell, slightly used. Good as floatation device*, or for storing old socks. Cost 30 GC, or 1 block top deck
Please contact the clumsy Sorceress at 1800 TOADS
*May or may not acctually float. Half the fun is sinking.
LOST
One coconut shell, needed for sale. If found, please send to
The Clumsy Socerous
Camelalot castle, by the old glove tree
Camelalot
The Clumsy Socerous
Camelalot castle, by the old glove tree
Camelalot
Hi there. My name is Katishkta Kousoloupe and I have recently found one coconut shell floating about in my lavatory. Enclosed is the coconut sheel.
May I get a reward? My evil stepsister Kanishtya has moved in and i need money to pay for her damage on my refrigerator.
Yours truly,
Katishkta Kousoloupe
da grayl pepl frm te clsfyds,
az a resrv polis mn i syz il' go fnd yr tcup n tll it watz wat coz i Egr
bam
LOST! AGAIN!
One Persimmon, orange in colour.
Last seen at a 70's disco.
Please, if you have seen him, contact me!
My dear, dear Persimmon, if you read this, PHONE HOME!!!
Call Rillalola on 5769 8676
LOST
1 blind musical mouse, last seen performing in the Lions Den, Brisbane, Australia.
Wanted urgently, it may contain infectios diseases such as killijomitis and dernatology.
Please be wary, this snimal is not for the faint - hearted.
If found, call the institute for the blind immedietly on 27564689866547899
or send in enclosed letter to:
Institute of the blind
1 Cane Rd
Cane Ville
Caneland.
Wanted
Recipe for dessert
Must include one (1) persimmon in ingredient list, as author has a spare that he wishes to consume.
Any other ingredients are acceptable.
Please send your recipes to Dr. Satan's Clinic.
In return I will guarentee not to steal one (1) soul from you for the next six (6) months.
To: Rillalola the teacosy
From: Her Persimmon
From the desk of Dr Satan
To my dear Rillalola,
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uncle Artie has already be boiled for the main course! HELP HELP HELP! Oh no! I hear Dr Satan now! COME QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!
Your Persimmon
Dreamweaver Guilden
18 years ago
Dreamweaver Guilden
Rebel
Dear Katishkta Kousoloupe
I just recievd your letter with enclosed coconut shell. Unfortunately I am unable to provide a montary rewad, however please find enclosed a gift voucher for The Clumsy Sorceress Toady Style Salon. Toad is in this spring, be the first to try it!!!
-Tanya
The Toadmaker
Dear Tanya the toadmaker
Thankyou for replying so quickly! I ahve been waiting by my mailbox for several months now and I am glad I got a response!
I would graciously accept a voucher for the style salon, I am due for a hair cut.
Though I would like to have your right toe, as my son Clouse needs a toe repleacement immediately. My evil sister Kanishtya cooked it up in her body parts soup. I myself am Missing my right ear.
Thanks Tanya,
Katishkta Kousoloupe
Dreamweaver Guilden
18 years ago
Dreamweaver Guilden
Rebel
Dear Katishkta Kousoloupe
I am glad to hear you received your gift voucher, and look forward to seeing you at the toady style salon.
As for the issue of right toes, one lost coconut shell is hardly an adequate trade for a right toe. I am, after all, still using it. If however you wish to present me with any further offers, I will of course consider them.
Yours
Tanya
The original "accept no substitutes" clumsy sorceress [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/> [img]http://s4.images.proboards.com/smiley.gif" alt=":)" border="0"/>
Dear Tanya,
Thankyou so much, I will be visiting your store next week, as Clouse has a musical to attend to this saturday and I cannot get out of the house untill then.
I guese my offer wasn't satisfactory, so I will add to my right toe a left - ear earing with matching thumbnail and dancing shoes.
I hope this offer is adequate.
Yours sincerly,
Katishkta Kousoloupe
Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
18 years ago
Keeper of the Sherbet Lemons
Guildmember
Needed
1 chicken.
No Questions Asked
Hat Desired but Not Required.
Contact
Under The Back Stoop of Camelalotian Castle
mee seln
1 purfeky riten leta
pris neg- nig- nugosibl
cal mee
bam
Dear Bam,
I'll write you a letter.
IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR ETERNAL SOUL.
Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Satan
Dear Random Passer - by
I have decided to write a random letter in hope that a random passer by will want to join my *evil* good - natured *bloodsucking* hunting club.
Membership is one dollor *freshly beating heart* and it will be accepted by mail *blood - thirsty cult ceremony*
Please reply as soon as you can *immediately or we will kill you* via mail.
Yours sincerely *evilly*
Ms Apocoplpta Doomesday
P.S.: Burn this
